Each Step is One in The Right Direction

I need a goal...

Its 2 down, 3 to go in terms of exams. At 630 it will be 3 down 2 to go. The stress level is dwindling ever so slightly, the light at the end of the tunnel is very dim, but its definitely there.

In terms of eating, I'm very disappointed in how I've been eating. They say you "fall off the wagon, but I was thrown off at 90 mph and it kept going so I'm going to have to catch it.

One of the things I am considering is called the reset cleanse. Its about 140$ and is 5 days long. I just asked for more info, but I'm feeling fat and bloated and gross, and with the breathing and exams my exercise is very low. I haven't signed up for the half iron yet, but I have until june. If I don't feel ready then, I won't do it. I'm thinking about a sprint and an olympic to see what I'm capable of. I've already planned to go to LP and paid for my cabin, so I'll still sign up for Ironman USA, but I'd rather know I can finish the half.

So with lack of exercise and healthfulness acknowledged, I need a goal. One of those dayplanner goals that I know I won't be able to keep up for a month, but something to keep me on track for peterborough.

Goals not only keep you on track, but it helps keep me distracted. It keeps my mind busy so that I can be all strong and fake infront of the people who know me as unbreakable and unbendable. I'm slowly giving this up, but its like a daily battle. Things in life are tough right now, and everyone needs something to hang on to.

I'm so used to being the rock. And I have a super supportive friend that is my rock. But all the other times, this can be the one thing that I actually have control over.

So here's what I was thinking...

60 workouts in 30 days. I haven't worked out the logistics but it seems like it will work quite well.
When I figure it out, I'll let you know. It starts Sunday though.

So that's it guys. Expect a veryyy happy blog post on Monday.

Thanks to you all for your incredible support, advice and belief in me. It means a lot to me.

Big hugs,

Tigrrr
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

posted by AddictedToEndorphins @ 9:48 AM 10 Comments

The (non-running) solution to EVERYTHING!!

Of course, running fixes everything. For that hour (or two or three of four) that we spend on the road, the world is fine. Its just you, and the pavement and the scenery as you pass it by.

I've found as of lately though that sometimes when thing get you down, or your angry or stressed, it's not always possible to run. Sometimes its the wrong time of day (read: midnight) and sometimes circumstances don't permit (read: 3hrs of sleep all week and an exam the next morning).

Of course, running should always be our first method of getting rid of the fears, tears, anger and frustration, but as a public service and thanks to all my Running Blogger Friends, I would like to share with you the two things that make life all better when you cannot get a run in.

I'm not exactly sure how to bold from my crackberry, so I'm just going to do it in list form!

1) PEANUT BUTTER: first and foremost peanut butter has the ability to fix all things that are wrong in life. But there is a way you have to do it for it to work properly.

- take a jar of peanut butter and a spoon.
- take that jar of peanut butter into your room
- prop up some pillows and crawl under your blanket.
- open the jar of peanut butter and take the spoon, and scoop out a BIG spoonful of the glorious stuff.
- stare out your window and nurse the spoonful of peanut butter.

Soon you will feel a warm fuzzy feeling inside...life will be okay.

Pros:
* its healthy!
* it tastes like heaven
* its cheaper than therapy (especially in this bad economy)

Cons:
* its not running
* some people may be allergic
* there might be some weight gain if you continue to eat peanut butter and stop running (or finish off half a jar in one sitting like I did)

2) Sleep:

I guess it works. After I finished the peanut butter on Thursday night I slept. And I was soo incredibly productive the next day... Seriously. There aren't many steps to achieving success in this situation. Perhaps you could even use the same bed when you ate the peanut butter. A teddy bear (or other person to cuddle with is imperative to the " everything is okay feeling" that you are aiming towards.

Pros:
* you sleep through what you don't want to feel
* most of the time you wake up well rested

Cons:
* you can't do anything productive during this time
* there is a possibility for nightmares
* you want to do it more often.

So that's my solution to everything right now.

I tried to write a more happy positive post today! I'm still not able to catch up quite yet, but I'm here thinking about all of you guys.

Big love,

Tigrrr

"Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog"

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

posted by AddictedToEndorphins @ 9:25 AM 6 Comments

Life Through The Eyes of A Runner...

Editors Note: I know I said I wasn't going to post until the 2nd of March, BUT I wanted to tell people that would understand. And I know you guys do. So here it is.

I hadn't ran in awhile up until yesterday.
And then I ran. And it sucked. It was sooo hard.
My legs hurt.
My lungs burned.
The drinking straw that I normally breathe out of turned into the size of one of those coffee stir sticks.
I started coughing.

I stopped to walk.
I started to cry. A lot. Tiger has given up the "I don't cry" persona in front of her blogger friends.
After a few minutes, I started to run again.
And I started thinking.

And I wasn't thinking about school stuff. And I wasn't thinking about the exams. And I wasn't thinking about how much I had to do. I was thinking about how much this run sucked. I glanced down at my hand and saw my word, "Unbreakable". It's always written on my hand.

Then I was like, "HEY!! I'm unbreakable!!"
And then I thought:
"This run sucks, yes, but WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?! You haven't run in a very long time. Of course things are going to hurt, they forgot what they're supposed to do."

And then I started thinking about the last time I took a running hiatus. And after about 3 weeks I was right back into it! And coming out stronger than ever. So I'd get through it. I'd finish the run as much as it sucked (and stayed close to home too just incase I needed something/someone).

And then I started thinking about life. About school. About that "Not okay" feeling that I've had in the pit of my stomach for the last few months. About the overwhelmed, on the verge of tears at all times feeling. About the total fear of breaking somewhere that wasn't out of the eyes of the people who know me as 'strong' and 'unbreakable' and I realized something.

I realized that it too will pass. Just like the sucky run after a running hiatus, all those "not okay" feelings will pass too. And I will come out Stronger than ever!

So I'm feeling a teeny bit better about life today.
Isn't it amazing what you can figure out on a run?!

So now I'm really disappearing...until March 2nd. See you then.

Labels: On The Run Epiphanies...

posted by AddictedToEndorphins @ 6:47 AM 8 Comments

So Much For That

No workouts.
Unless you can consider the 12 stairs from the 5th floor of the library to the 4th at which point the escalator picks up again a workout. Seriously.

I eat really bad but I'm pretty impressed that I am sleeping 3 to 4 hrs a night. This is good news*. This next week is going to be hell. Infact it actually makes me feel like I want to vomit. Later ill post what I've got going on...I'm back to list format...like before the marathon.

I will not be swimming at all until after march second. Its hopefully like running--3 wks and ill be fine again. Yep...

Biking and running are going back to 5am because I can't study or focus without it. The only exception is today. I'm running out of high park and then going to a yoga class for a friends birthday. Then I'm going back home to study...that thing I've been doing for the last 2 wks. And get this...we've been off for three months and we had midterms this week and last, and starting saturday we have finals.

I've failed 2 midterms this week, and yeah. I've been studying continually. It isn't fair. Blah blah blah. I know life isn't fair.

Got other fun stuff to update you on. I'll be back march 2nd. See you then. Miss me while I'm gone!

Love,
Tigrrr
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

posted by AddictedToEndorphins @ 10:24 AM 7 Comments

Is it March 2nd at 10:30 am yet?

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network



-----Original Message-----

From: tigrrruns@gmail.com



Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:38:26







Blogger buddies!!



This is my first post on my crackberry!! This is also a post in which I ask for your words of wisdom, or perhaps re-assurance that I will survive the next 3 weeks.



Its only week one, and I wrote an exam yesterday and got the marks back and did realllyyy badly. The real kicker is that I thought I did well.



Tonight I'm working until about 10pm, studying until 230am, and then making sure I get some sleep because my body apparently doesn't work when I haven't slept.

And tomorrow I have 2 exams.



I have this nauseating overwhelmed feeling going on, and not sure how I'm going to survive.



"The elevator to success is out of service...you have to take the stairs..one step at a time."



I would put a picture of myself on here cause I want to try it but instead I'll put a picture of what my nourishment consists of.



Mmmm hero burgers!



Tigrrr

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

posted by AddictedToEndorphins @ 11:42 AM 4 Comments

crackberry

posted by AddictedToEndorphins @ 1:58 PM 13 Comments

My Interview and Life Update

School Update: It's going to be a hell of a month, and I might want to die by the end of it. But, I'm the unbreakable Tiger and I will definately get through it! 4 midterms next week, exams the week after, then winter term. Gotta put the nose to the grindstone.

Health Update: I can run again. The specialist I went to see was mean!!! He didn't think it was regular asthma. The time that it mostly happens is when I'm at work and it's not under high stress situations (cause I thought it might be anxiety) so we're thinking it's allergy induced. Yay for more tests. I however, am allowed to run again. I hadn't run since being told I should not run too fast/far because there was another hospital day on the Thursday, and I was exhuasted for awhile.

Today I'm running and riding my bike, tomorrow is a busy day so I'm running first thing in the morning. Friday is a swim and run. I'm making up for lost time:) I misssss running!

Life Update: I'm in the process of a new post on the life aspect. I've done some searching and think I have some things figured out!!:) Wait on the edges of your seat.

1. If you could accomplish only one thing in the rest of your life, what would it be?
I will be a firefighter that inspires young children by going to schools and speaking about experiences and teaching potential firefighters about firefighter fitness and training.

2. In terms of running, what's your favorite race experience?
So far, the marathon. The whole experience of training, getting injured, healing, getting sick before hand, the race expo, running the race, struggling through the race, having a nervous breakdown at 32km, seeing my friends at 36km, having another friend run with me and tell me that in "3km you'll be a marathoner", running some of the last 500m with my little sister and brother, crossing the finish line, limping around the finish line, someone yelling at me to get my chip, sitting down under E to find my family, a volunteer lending me her cell phone to call my parents, my family running toward me while I sat on the bench crying (cause I was happy), a million pictures, them saying a bunch of really nice things to me that I really didn't understand or remember cause I was so disoriented, getting in the car to go visit my friends at work who had listened to me for the previous 4 months, the 24hrs on the couch, working a day later not able to walk and people making fun of me...the whole experience was so amazing. Thanks for letting me relive that!:)

3. If you could run any single company, institution, or organization in the world, whcih would you choose and why?
I'm going to with the education system. I think that it could be drastically improved. I would make the school day longer, and I would make time for physical activity. this would also help parents who don't get off work until like 5pm. I would also group the classes by learning style and pair them with an instructor who teaches the same way as they learn. Smaller class sizes, more money for teachers if they successfully teach their students and higher expectations of students, because we are putting more resources into them. I'd also like to teach different languages (japanese, russian and korean) starting in grade one.

4. What's the best part about living in Canada?
I'm going with free health care. I live in a place where I can go see several specialists and go to several doctors if I need to, and nobody ever gets turned away. I live in Toronto, and I also like the variation in weather. It rains, snows and is sunny, and doesn't get below -30 celcius.
5. If you were stranded on a desert island and could only take with you one object that you currently own, what would take?
Pretty silly, but I want a journal and pen. Im constantly writing things down, and thinking and analyzing things so I think I would go crazy if I didn't have something to write things down with. I Could adapt to running with no shoes and with no Garmin and with no watch.

To play along:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post
.5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

So thats that!
Stay tuned for some more excing posts!!!! Goal setting in one, a look at myself, a final decision on ATB, andd more tri training posts.

posted by AddictedToEndorphins @ 9:33 AM 7 Comments