And Another Year Bites the Dust!
So, 7:30pm today, 22 years ago, I entered the world.
It's absolutely amazing how fast time is flying, like one big blur now-a-days.
I'm not going to do any of those long "year in retrospect" things, but I do know that this year I have gotten through many things, and come out stronger on the other side. And for awhile, I didn't know if I'd be able to ever say this, even though everyone told me I had to figure it out. But I can now powerfully declare that I love my life, and I live powerfully.
Now here's my question...how many times did you change your mind on what you wanted to be before you figured it out? I am still going into 9-1-1 telecommunications, but I don't know if I want to be behind a desk? I sorta want Tigrrr's sunshine to be out there in the world...
Member how I said I was organizing a race?!
WELLL I'm actually doing it!
And I'm playing WAYYY big. I'm hoping to have 400 runners, and raise a bunch of money. It's crazy, but things work when I play big like this. It's not true to who I am if I don't play big.
It's going to be on August 29th, 2010 at 10:30 am. It's a 5k run/walk and my goal is to raise over $16,000 in support of Peel Children's Aid.
I'm excited. And scared to death. But it's going to be amazing. I'm still looking for Sponsorship, as many of the big name companies had their budgets set last May, so now I'm looking to smaller name companies, real estate agents and insurance companies. All I need is the cost of the race covered so all the money can be donated to the cause directly.
I know many of you are around the world, and such, so how can you help? Join the facebook page! Tell your friends! If you have any ideas or input or know how I can get sponsorship, let me know!!
Facebook page is: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Go-for-the-Goal/127843300583258
Fire in the House
Midnight this morning, my whole family was sleeping--cause we are party animals, you know. Unbeknownst to us, someone dropped a burning cigarette from one of the balconies above us. It landed in a box that was on our balcony. That box proceeded to catch fire.
The door from our balcony was open just a smidge, but it was enough to let smoke in to set off our home fire alarms. We didn't even realize what it was. My brother was upstairs in his room, trying to sleep when he smelled smoke. He ran downstairs, and saw the flames on the balcony, and proceeded to wake my mom (who was home on a weekend pass from the hospital and heavily medicated) and step-dad up. He ran into my room, lifted my sister out of bed and smacked the crap out of me.
What happens next is a blur. My step-dad goes to get the fire extinguisher, and I call 9-1-1. I get a 9-1-1 "all our operators are currently busy" and hang up soon after because my dad said the fire was out. Apparently, you're not allowed to do that because they called right back, and I spoke to someone from the fire department. Good thing too, because no sooner did I say it was out, did the fire relight itself.
So, my dad gets the other fire extinguisher, and my youngest sister and I start taking the stairs down to the main floor. Never have I ever seen a 7 year old move that fast--we took 12 flights in 60 seconds flat. The firefighters came, and we informed them it was in our unit, and that my dad and mom were still up there (he's really stubborn!), and soon after my brother came down with the dog, having an anxiety attack. He went to the ambulance, and I stayed with my sister who was shaking like a leaf, while a mean police officer took our statements.
Eventually the firefighters kicked my dad and mom out, and contained the fire and started to clear it out of smoke. My sister went to sit in the ambulance to keep warm, and my brother calmed down. When we were allowed to go back up it reaked of smoke and had dust everywhere. Being asthmatic, it wasn't a good place for me, and the friend I had been messaging told me to come to her house. I got my work clothes, and somehow made it to her house at 1:45am, although I don't know how, and we sat up and chatted for a while. I had to leave at 545, and didn't sleep at all,to get to work ontime. It was CRAZY!
Needless to say, I didn't get the run I was hoping for in this morning, but I think I had a pretty good excuse.
Everyone's really shaken up--you could feel the heat of the fire through the glass and to the other end of the living room--but we are so lucky. If we would've slept for like 2 more minutes, things could have got much, much worse. My little brother is practically a hero, getting everyone up and out of the house.
All my dad could say when we met him at the ambulance was "well atlease we didn't get charge for a false alarm".
On the plus side--there were a lot of attractive men there this morning.
One thing I did learn, was that I don't think I'm cut out for this firefighting thing. All I could do was just run the opposite direction, and I don't know if I'd be able to run into a burning building when everyone else is running out.
I'm going to a course in january at Humber College for 9-1-1 telecommunications, and eventually want to work myself into a job in fire prevention for community schools.
So, now I'm hoping the adrenaline will wear off so I can sleep. I'm exhausted.
Thanks for reading, friends.
My Running Family...
I miss my running family. More than that, I miss being part of the running community. I’ve been running, although not as consistently, but mostly by myself. I’ve been the world’s crappiest blogger. Life has gotten so busy and so crazy.
I ran into someone from my running family today. And it was great. Conversations about training and racing. There’s like an unspoken respect for other runners. And I realized how much I missed being part of a community. When you run for 3+hrs with someone, you get tight. You’re real, and authentic. I miss reading your posts, about training and life. I miss everything about it.
And to be completely honest, I’ve felt really alone the last few weeks. Stuff has been happening, and it’s been so hard. I wished when I was going for a run that I’d have someone to run with, to talk to. Someone to give me a hug and tell me that everything would be okay. I know how ridiculous that all sounds, cause I got so many people to support me, but sometimes you can’t control feelings.
And so Tiger is back in the blogging world. I’m not sure I’ll be able to get out to the running world when all those other running people run, but I can post, and read blogs and comment and be part of a community again. Best part of a community like this? You're usually welcomed back with open arms!
So let me catch you up!
In the last year, a lot has happened. My moms been in the hospital twice, and is back there again. I’m planning and organizing a 5km race that will race $16,000 in support of Children’s Aid Society. It’s on August 29th. I’ve been in a dark bubble, I’ve been out of a dark bubble. I’ve run away from everything, and I’ve started facing the demons. I’ve had conversations. I trained 5 girls to run a half marathon. I did things. I did things I never would have dreamed I could do. I’ve stayed calm in a crisis without a plan. I’ve stayed positive in light of recent difficulties. I’ve fallen apart at the same time. I ran to survive. I ran to feel alive. I’ve hated running, and I’ve loved running. I’ve learned to put me first. I’ve been inspired, and I’ve inspired people. More than that, though, I’ve grown up. I got happy. And I got happy for me, and not for anyone else. I’m not sure what I wanna do anymore, but I am confident that whatever I do, it’ll be something amazing.
And now on to your blogs...
Oh no she didn't...
Oh yes she did.
Its been a goal of mine for about 3 years. Every race I've run, every hot run I've done, I wanted to run in a bra top.
Before yesterday, I was never pleased with my body. This jiggled or that bounced.
I was convinced that everyone was going to be staring and laughing and judging.
So yesterday I was running with D and her baby Q.
It was very, very, hot. I was wearing a black long sleeved shirt. Smart, I knoow.
I casually mentioned that one day I'd like to be able to do this, and take my top off so I was only wearing a bra top.
I can't remember exactly what Danielle said..something about the moment.
And soo I insisted she wasn't allowed to look at me.
And I stripped off my topp, revealing parts of myself to the sunshine that hadn't seen sunshine for about 11 months.
And I ran.
And nobody stared at me, which put my mind at eaase.
And then I got into it.
So that's me. I can now run in just a bra top.
It may even become a regular occurance;)
Other updates: I'm still inspired. Who knows what's next.
My self expression and leadership program starts tomorrow.
I have mixed feelings, but mostly excited!!
Enjoy life friends!!
The Feeling of Alive
I haven't posted anything of any substance in awhile.
And I don't really have anything to say except Ive run 3 times in the last 2 days.
Here's something I posted on facebook awhile back, and I enjoy it.
It’s the feeling you get when you’re running up another hill, you’re 4th in the 2km’s you’ve done so far. It’s the lactic acid building up, you’re lungs feeling more on fire with every breath you take. It’s your calf cramping up, the stitch under your liver, the unquenchable thirst. Your legs are lead, and you feel like you can barely lift them. Dodging the people in the park and on the streets is exhausting, and surely adds km’s to your run. Everything tells you to stop, begs you to stop.
But you keep pressing forward. You put up with the lactic acid, the fire in your lungs, the calf cramps and the stitch under your liver.
And then something changes. You can’t feel the lactic acid, or the burning lungs or the side stitch. You know it’s there but you chose to let it be. You’re legs instantly feel lighter, like you’re walking on air. The people you are dodging become a blur and you do it effortlessly. Instead of being aware of the pain, you push that out of your mind. Instead you feel the crisp breeze. You feel the warmth of the sun on your face. You listen to the birds, the stream, the laughter of the people enjoying the village. You forget all everything you were worried about before, and are present to the things you are grateful for. For family, friends, fresh air, good health. You are present to your own strength—in running and in life.
And that, that’s the feeling of alive.
Is Tigrrr alive out there?
Here's a quick little update.
I've not been feeling very comfortable in in my own skin. So, less junk food, more running.
I may or may not run the Mississauga Marathon.
Im looking for a second job to supplement the lack of hours at my current one.
I'm starting another program with landmark education. It's the Self Expression and Leadership Program. I'm very excited about that.
I'm pushing my firefighter goal up...September 2010.
Life is good, and I'm doing good.. I'm excited about life.
Boston Marathon was super inspiring. Perhaps a goal for the future.
Gotta go back to studying...
She's still alive
Guess who's still alive out there?!
That's right! It's Tigrrr. And she's doing better than ever. She's running, studying her firefighter text book, and is
going to run a half marathon in May. Haven't signed up yet, but I know I'm capable of it.
Beyond that, I'm just excited about life. Things aren't always amazing, but it's just part of the journey.And there's always a few things about my day that I love, things that make me truthfully happy.
Here's my favourite quote of the present. Take from it what you will.
I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
P.S. When I'm not motivated to run, I call up my running buddy, and we take her baby in a stroller, and run to a place where they have magic cookies or icecream.
P.P.S. Check out my friend Elle's
blog. She pretty much rocks.
A Cool new blog
I have a new friend named Elle.
She's got a pretty cool new blog online.
The address is here
She's a pretty inspiring gal. You should follow along as she learns to love life. I know I am:)
So, since my landmark course, life has been a big learning curve. In more ways than one.
This weekend I saw my Grade 7 best friend, and it felt like I had seen her a week earlier. It was nice.
I went to a birthday party last night and wasn't feeling 100%. And still decided to drink WAY more than I should have.
Let's just say it didn't turn out positively, and its a good thing my friend had bathrooms on every floor.
Today I cleaned my room.
And I found many many things that reminded me of 'that place'
I had papers and binders of things I had planned.
I'm the kind of person who puts her whole entire heart and soul into everything she does.
When I saw these things, I broke. And cried. And then through it all out.
Everything. Except for my one binder that I had the Expo planning in.
And then I threw it out! And I wanted to even burn it!!!
And it was empowering!
I'm moving forward. Everyday it gets easier.
Tomorrow I'm going to high park, and going to run. Its one of my favourite places to run, but to be honest, I've been avoiding it.
I've been afraid of the feelings that would come up, and of running into people.
so here it goes.
I'm continuing to be amazing.
And it feels great.