Looking Up...
Friends, I know I haven't been around a lot.
A bad blogger if you will. I
know you deserve better. But we all know how life gets sometimes so I'll hope you forgive me.
Things have been rough lately. They included emergency surgery, failing two of the four exams, several not so good runs, my quarterly nervous breakdown and my little sister getting the flu on her birthday and getting her first experience with an IV. She was not impressed.
The way that I look at myself is like a pop bottle. If you keep shaking the pop bottle, eventually it's going to explode. Mine shattered into a bzillion peices the other night, and now I'm constructing a bigger and stronger bottle. But I might leave the lid on a little loose this time. The silly thing is that what triggered the bottle was something incredibly silly. But like I said, it just takes a little shake. I stayed home the next day, I didn't feel like I could handle school, and I basically did nothing the whole day.
I'm starting to feel a little better. I find that I get myself into these little ditches and once I realize it, it's only a matter of time before I get myself out. I like to be proactive rather than reactive, and put myself into situations that I know I'll be okay. I find that writing and music helps. And running. And distractions. Thats another thing--I haven't been distracted enough recently.
The running has been inconsistent and hard. My biking has been the same. I was going to get back in the pool yesterday but my sister took my bathing suit 3hrs away with her. I was not impressed, especially since I missed my pilates class while looking for it.
It's down to crunch time. 12 weeks to half ironman. It's a Gale Bernhardt plan. I'll do it. I'm young and strong and determined. If you are doubtful, please pretend that you think I can do it. :) I find out the results of my test next Thursday. It might be as simple as a freaking allergy pill...Yahoo. I'll take what I can get though...!!
60/30...hahahha. Maybe in April. It's going to a good distraction...I feel like that plan was doomed from the beginning--not because I can't do it, because I totally can, but because I didn't take into account life and what it was going to throw at me/ all the homework and stuff I have to do. I ALREADY have midterms--and I've only been at school for 3 weeks!!! Seriously, what the heck. Oh well.
And I have some plans for June--I'm going to transfer stores, and work at the one in Kingston. Just for June. That way I can take my break, ride my bike to work everyday, go swimming and running, have my own little mini training camp and spend time with my favorite Auntie and take a break from life, which I need.
I'm going to take an official hiatus from blogging. I'll still be around lurking and commenting on your blogs. You can add me to facebook
here. I'll still be on that with random thoughts from time to time.
Miss me while I'm gone. I'll be back soon!
Until we meet again,
Tiger
15 minutes and a wandering mind.
Once again, in a time crunch to post a blog. And my mind is going NUTS so I need to write it all down.
Things are looking up.
I was super convinced that this test was going to fix me. Apparently my perspective keepers were on vacation because its not the test that fixes you, it's what happens after you see you doctor after the test.
So now I wait for an appointment.
The test wasn't
that scary.
First things first: There were no needles.
Well, she pulls out this gianormous needle. It was the size of like, my hand.
And then she forgets to tell me that it's just to measure her solution. Then we did breathing tests by itself. After that, we did breathing tests after breathing in saline for 2 minutes. Then after that, I had to breathe in some substance, called methacoline, with each dose getting stronger and stronger to see how the breathing changed. Once I got up to 2 (mg)things started getting rough, and they went up to 16....
And it was super tight, and sucked to breathe. Sorta like everyday at work.
Then, they get me on a treadmill for like 7 minutes, at 7mph at a
12% incline. Seriously. Wtf.
After that, and some ventolin, I get to go...to work.
So I get on the bus and the subway (and I'm completely exhausted and shaking like a leaf.
And I get to work and apparently someone should have called me because they didnt want me there.
And I was too tired to fight, so I waited for my dad to come get me and slept the rest of the night.
The next morning, much to my dismay, I wasnt fixed. Saturday at work, I still couldnt breathe.
Same thing with yesterday.
And I started to get frustrated but my perspective keepers got back from vacation.
It's out of my hands now. All I can do is wait. Seriously. The people I am blessed with in my life are fantabulous. It's so annoying for me, so I'm sure it must be 100 x more annoying for them. But theyy dont show it!
Sunday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
I was
miserable due to the hour less sleep, but as soon as I got out of my house and to work, things looked up, and I ended up having a wicked day.
Today, things are looking good.
I made my own lunch (but am having breakfast at the bagel place at school) and will be going for a run, and doing some sit-ups and push-ups when I get home.
And then going straight to bed. These days are going to be long!!!!
60 in 30 starts today!!!!More details to come at the coffee shop after my run tonight (because I have to wait for my dad!)K, time for class.
I'll be reading your blogs at 7:15pm. :) I'm so excited!!!
Love,
Tigerr
Postponed beginning.
So, I have lots to write about, but only 15 minutes and a crackberry.
Right now I'm at St. Joe's hospital waiting to go get my pulmonary something or other test. And I am admittedly nervous. I have NO idea what to expect. What if there's needles involved (last time I went to emerg, I almost had to have one but fought them tooth and nail to NOT get one.
I mentioned that I was scared of something (I.e. Needles) to a friend and she said the most interesting thing that put things into perspective for me. "Are you scared of needles, or are you more scared of breathing like this forever?"
True enough. And I'm tough and unbreakable. And a tiger so if they try and stick anything in my paws, I've got sharp nails.
So think of me today. This should tell us what we're dealing with.
The 60 workouts in 30 days is going to start on Monday, because this week I'm going out for a much needed (and well deserved) dose of alcohol. And the minute I finished my last exam, I got sick. Of course, right?
Not really sick its just a "body so exhausted its not going to let you do anything for awhile." Kinda sick. So we give it until monday and then I take control!!!
Exams went bad. I passed 2 and failed 2. Which means I failed two courses. I dropped one course. I'll get over it. And do amazing this term. It'll all be okay!
So I have to get in the alligator to go upstairs and do what they want me to do. Think of me, dear blogger buddies.
Tigrrr
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Postponed beginning.
So, I have lots to write about, but only 15 minutes and a crackberry.
Right now I'm at St. Joe's hospital waiting to go get my pulmonary something or other test. And I am admittedly nervous. I have NO idea what to expect. What if there's needles involved (last time I went to emerg, I almost had to have one but fought them tooth and nail to NOT get one.
I mentioned that I was scared of something (I.e. Needles) to a friend and she said the most interesting thing that put things into perspective for me. "Are you scared of needles, or are you more scared of breathing like this forever?"
True enough. And I'm tough and unbreakable. And a tiger so if they try and stick anything in my paws, I've got sharp nails.
So think of me today. This should tell us what we're dealing with.
The 60 workouts in 30 days is going to start on Monday, because this week I'm going out for a much needed (and well deserved) dose of alcohol. And the minute I finished my last exam, I got sick. Of course, right?
Not really sick its just a "body so exhausted its not going to let you do anything for awhile." Kinda sick. So we give it until monday and then I take control!!!
Exams went bad. I passed 2 and failed 2. Which means I failed two courses. I dropped one course. I'll get over it. And do amazing this term. It'll all be okay!
So I have to get in the alligator to go upstairs and do what they want me to do. Think of me, dear blogger buddies.
Tigrrr
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
