Sunday, July 20, 2008

Once Again...

A sub-par, less than fantastic run.
Warning: Partial Mental Breakdown Ahead.

SO I went out for 28 before I went to work at 2. I left at about 9. Started off fantastic. Good clip, felt good, was going to try using e-load and water, as well as taking gels. By the time I made it to Port Credit, (about 8k) everything was falling apart. My body wasn't tired, but mentally I was exhausted. At 8k! This isn't a good sign.

Brian Tracey, a motivational speaker, suggests that if you decide to feel a certain way conciously, you're body will accept it and within minutes you will feel like you are that way. That doesn't make much sense, so I'm going to explain. If you aren't feeling so good, but you conciously decide that you feel fantastic, you will soon begin to actually feel that way.

SO I tried. And I tried hard. (Note: I had still about 20k to go.) It felt sort of like there was an angel and a devil on either shoulder. The devil won. I couldn't pull myself together. It was incredibly frustrating. I ran on for another 4k. Then I turned around and walked. This is totally not me. I'm not the type to give up so easy. I was tired, but still. Normal people would have toughed it out.

So Now I analyze. Because that's how I roll.

WTF is wrong with me??? Why does my mind sabotage me. Seriously.

Actually I'm too tired to analyze. But I'm not just writing this off as a bad run. I'm going to try again. Monday, I don't work until 3pm. I'm getting my ass out of bed and getting that run done. End of story. If I start at 5:30, theres no way I ccan't cover the distance by like, 9. And I'm not bringing my Garmin. Just my, my ipod and the road.

I'm doing a 30k race in a month. It'll be good for training.

Speaking of training...wait...speaking of goals, I think I've revamped it.

I honestly just want to finish. If I have an A, B, C goal, I'm never happy with the B or C goal and I hurt myself trying to get to the A goal...
I got a little freaked after the 16k. If I get sick after 16, how am i going to do 42.2? What am I going to look like after the race? Am I going to be on the verge of death? Seriously. Will I be able to finish? This is the pre-race/mid-training doubt sneaking up I think. And it's a couple of bad runs that allow me to get there. Seee...sabotage.

And I guess it doesn't help that I'm on the cusp of injury...ITB is acting up again. And I'm ignoring it as best I can. And stretching, and icing. I'm going to Yoga tomorrow I think. If worse comes to absolute worse I;ll go see the P.T. But I'm avoiding it at all costs. I've also got "The Stick". It works well too.

So now Im going for my fit test at premier fitness, where they can tell me I have to spend 1000 dollars and loose 30lbs and 19% body fat. Haha fantastic.
I'll catch up before my run tomorrow!



At 7:06 PM , Blogger Marlene said...

Sorry that your run didn't go so well, but don't beat yourself up. Mind over matter... it's a powerful thing. You'll get your groove back!

At 7:23 AM , Blogger Wes said...

Definitely, where the mind goes the body will follow. But don't sweat it. Sometimes, you are just too fried to be effective.

At 10:48 AM , Blogger Nitmos said...

Yep, find a way to keep those Negative Nellies at bay. Find a mantra and repeat it ala "I CAN do this" or something of that ilk.

At 1:47 PM , Blogger robison52 said...

The mind is a funny thing, I remember when I first achieved a Boston Qualifier I attached myself to a fellow marathoner who had many sub-3:30 marathons, we just chatted away and the miles just flew by, before I knew it, I had my BQ, if I had tried to run as a lone wolf the race would have been harder due to less distractions. My suggestion, find another runner who's close to your time goal and run as a team.

At 10:59 AM , Blogger Faithful Soles said...

A story I love to share that relates to your post... In 2000 when I ran my first Boston Marathon, I visited Niketown and saw a runner's journal encased in glass. The entries read things like, "Felt terrible today", "why am I doing this?", "felt better", "felt worse", etc. The journal was from Joan Samuelson about one week before she won the Boston Marathon. The point is that we all go through these types of runs, and you will persevere.

At 3:45 PM , Blogger Lily on the Road said...

Choose your words wisely, positive re-enforcement works the best!!!


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