Each Step is One in The Right Direction

7 Things

Well, it's amazing what 7 complete days of no running does to a girl.

I said I was going to read blogs, and I was going to read about running, I was going to talk about running, and it was all going to be fine.

But it wasn't.

Monday I decided I I read a little bit about running (Devoured the Non Runners Marathon Guide for Women--book report to come. That is if I can remember how to write a book report...it's been too longg). I didn't get through Chi Running, not because it was a bad book, but because I wanted to be trying it all so much, I thought I'd better save it for when I could start running again.

I did pilates on Tuesday. Very good workout. Sore for 2 days after, but it wasn't the same kind of endorphins.

By Wednesday, I was loosing my words and tripping over things. The mood swings also began this day. One second I was chipper and happy, raving about something, and the next second I was ready to bite someones head off. It was like a massive case of PMS. Today I went to the running store and got new shoes. I also had to send my clinic off. That sucked. Realllyyyyy sucked.

Thursday was worse. I had to still go to my clinic and watch my friends run. And talk to them being all perky about running. When I sent them off, and was watching them run their hills, I wanted to cry (but remember, I don't cry). My parents went away this day, for the whole weekend, which was good, because if they hadn't gone away, I'd probably be in the dog house for being such a not nice person.

Friday was not memorable. I don't remember Friday at all.

Saturday it allllll hit rock bottom. It was a really bad day. It wasn't supposed to be, in theory, a bad day, but it ended up being awful! I was so excited about a breakfast, but I couldn't shut my damn mind up. It was so frustrating. I managed to make it through the breakfast without starting off into Space or anything, but I don't think I contributed much either. Then I had 2 hours to waste before I had to work. The book I finished writing suggested journalling. So I got a book, and some pretty pens and decided that I was going to journal about my running, just as Dawn Dias had.
I started to journal about running. And then that turned into a bunch of negative background thoughts I had...and it sucked. It was ridiculous. Retarded. I was in an emotional blur. Numb. No feeling. Everything I completely avoid thinking about was brought out of the woodwork and was going to make me think about it. Usually I can say, 'SHUTUP! I'm Running!' or 'I'm working' or 'I'm eating/sleeping/showering' etc, but it wasn't working...
And I was supposed to go to work and be happy. That was the toughest day ever.
I went to meet my best friend at Walmart after. I felt a little better, then came home and watched Nanny Diaries (happy, light, fun, not serious, good distraction).

This morning, I didn't go to run club (i.e. this no running thing was getting to me and it would have made me want to jump into on coming traffic or something. Ok. Maybe not that extreme, but it might have made me want to eat myself into a coma. Not that I'm the kind of person that just eats to make herself feel better. But I needed to runnnnnn...

Instead, I went to a movie, and ate a lot. (not quite to the level of a coma, but pretty close)
Step Brothers is not a movie I recommend.
And I didn't gain a pound this week. That's a good thing.

Today marks the seventh day of not running.
Seven Things I learned about myself:

1. I'm an addict. Plain and simple. I need my endorphins.
2. I'm good at running away from things
3. I like reading about running...most times
4. I get jealous of people who run when I can't.
5. My mood can change on a dime
6. Injuries suck and my body isn't very good at negotiating.
   The following is an actual snippet from a conversation that actually took place between me and my body:
   Tiger: Okay, body, how bout we go for a bike ride. I'll stick the side roads, keep in nice and flat, I just need to be moving.
   Body: How about we don't.
   Tiger: I'm the boss, you're not.
   Body: Ok, fine you wanna play like that? I'm going to send seering pains up your leg. How do you like that?
   Tiger: I guess. your the boss (Defeated)
7. I want to run tomorrow.

Not very interesting things, but not running totally effects everything I do. Man... I feel sorry for my parents when I have to taper for my upcoming marathon...

On a positive note: all my workout clothes are clean. And I'm going for an easy 6 mile run tomorrow.

I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkk:)

TiGrrrr (Rawr)

Speaking of Tigers (or Lions) Michjoy had a video on her blog about lions and human and love. Don't know how to put a video in my blog, therefor, I'll give you the link to it on Youtube!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWtRYaxmWM&eurl=http://runningdowndreams.wordpress.com/2008/08/01/its-true-that-we-love-one-another/

posted by AddictedToEndorphins @ 4:50 PM