Thursday, December 21, 2006

My friend

I figured out what it is. What is wrong with my friend.

He has cancer. Phase 2 something. Its in the brain. He has decided against treatment.
What do I say to that? I cried for a good 2 hours. Why him? Why no treatment? Oh god here I go again. He is so scared. and there is nothing I can do. He said hes got about a year.

Theres a list of things we made for us to do together. We are going to get through them all if it means I take weeks off work at a time. Thats what he needs right?

So this is the list of things we are going to do.

1. Rent a cabin in the forest in the middle of winter and spend the night there
2. Going skiing
3. Go tubing
4. Go visit Ontario, Ottawa, London etc.
5. Go to montreal
6. Go camping.
7. See the festival of lights in Niagra falls
8. Go to algonquin park
9. Go skydiving in the wind tunnel in Niagra Falls
10. Go to a ridiqulously fancy restaurant
11. Go see lamaas.
12. Go to a bar
13. Go to Wonderland
14. Spend a day exploring the sights in Toronto
15. Rent a golf cart. Or go go carting

Then he is going to add the other fifteen. Oh man I am having a really hard time with this. If only i had the confidence to run at 2 am by myself. Not neccisarily the safest thing. So 6am it is. I dont know how I am going to sleep. I dont know how I am going to do anything.
Im so heartbroken he wont get treatment. hes such a good person with so many things that he can do with his life.

Ive offered to go to doctors appointments if he needs support. What else can I do.

So please pray. For my friend. That he finishes what is on his life list. He deserves it. I dont know what else to do. Everything going on in my head is so insignificant compared to what he must be feeling.

I cant do this.

Im so scared. So ridiculously scared.
And my mom is sick too. Shes had an ear infection for a long time and they think she might have an infection in the bone which can turn into like meningitis.

No Name

So there you are
Putting up a fight
Sitting there
Doing what you think is right

Youre a wonderful person
You dont deserve this
And for you
I have one special wish

I wish you the time
To fufill all your dreams
To make everything happen
And with pride your face will beam

You've said before
Life is shorter than expected
Where did the time go
Everything has been so hectic

My heart is aching
I wish I could make everything better
I'll give you a kidney or blood
Or even my sweater

Remember when we were younger
when a kiss could heal all
If only that would work
From the sky they would fall

We'll finish this list
I swear it'll be true
And I'd only do this
For someone as special as you

Someone say something. I dont want to be alone but I dont think I can tell anyone


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