Each Step is One in The Right Direction

And Another Year Bites the Dust!

2010-07-13T16:45:00.000-07:00

So, 7:30pm today, 22 years ago, I entered the world.

It's absolutely amazing how fast time is flying, like one big blur now-a-days.

I'm not going to do any of those long "year in retrospect" things, but I do know that this year I have gotten through many things, and come out stronger on the other side. And for awhile, I didn't know if I'd be able to ever say this, even though everyone told me I had to figure it out. But I can now powerfully declare that I love my life, and I live powerfully.

Now here's my question...how many times did you change your mind on what you wanted to be before you figured it out? I am still going into 9-1-1 telecommunications, but I don't know if I want to be behind a desk? I sorta want Tigrrr's sunshine to be out there in the world...

Playing Big

2010-06-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

Member how I said I was organizing a race?!

WELLL I'm actually doing it!

And I'm playing WAYYY big. I'm hoping to have 400 runners, and raise a bunch of money. It's crazy, but things work when I play big like this. It's not true to who I am if I don't play big.

It's going to be on August 29th, 2010 at 10:30 am. It's a 5k run/walk and my goal is to raise over $16,000 in support of Peel Children's Aid.

I'm excited. And scared to death. But it's going to be amazing. I'm still looking for Sponsorship, as many of the big name companies had their budgets set last May, so now I'm looking to smaller name companies, real estate agents and insurance companies. All I need is the cost of the race covered so all the money can be donated to the cause directly.

I know many of you are around the world, and such, so how can you help? Join the facebook page! Tell your friends! If you have any ideas or input or know how I can get sponsorship, let me know!!

Facebook page is: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Go-for-the-Goal/127843300583258

Fire in the House

2010-06-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

Literally.

Midnight this morning, my whole family was sleeping--cause we are party animals, you know. Unbeknownst to us, someone dropped a burning cigarette from one of the balconies above us. It landed in a box that was on our balcony. That box proceeded to catch fire.

The door from our balcony was open just a smidge, but it was enough to let smoke in to set off our home fire alarms. We didn't even realize what it was. My brother was upstairs in his room, trying to sleep when he smelled smoke. He ran downstairs, and saw the flames on the balcony, and proceeded to wake my mom (who was home on a weekend pass from the hospital and heavily medicated) and step-dad up. He ran into my room, lifted my sister out of bed and smacked the crap out of me.

What happens next is a blur. My step-dad goes to get the fire extinguisher, and I call 9-1-1. I get a 9-1-1 "all our operators are currently busy" and hang up soon after because my dad said the fire was out. Apparently, you're not allowed to do that because they called right back, and I spoke to someone from the fire department. Good thing too, because no sooner did I say it was out, did the fire relight itself.

So, my dad gets the other fire extinguisher, and my youngest sister and I start taking the stairs down to the main floor. Never have I ever seen a 7 year old move that fast--we took 12 flights in 60 seconds flat. The firefighters came, and we informed them it was in our unit, and that my dad and mom were still up there (he's really stubborn!), and soon after my brother came down with the dog, having an anxiety attack. He went to the ambulance, and I stayed with my sister who was shaking like a leaf, while a mean police officer took our statements.

Eventually the firefighters kicked my dad and mom out, and contained the fire and started to clear it out of smoke. My sister went to sit in the ambulance to keep warm, and my brother calmed down. When we were allowed to go back up it reaked of smoke and had dust everywhere. Being asthmatic, it wasn't a good place for me, and the friend I had been messaging told me to come to her house. I got my work clothes, and somehow made it to her house at 1:45am, although I don't know how, and we sat up and chatted for a while. I had to leave at 545, and didn't sleep at all,to get to work ontime. It was CRAZY!

Needless to say, I didn't get the run I was hoping for in this morning, but I think I had a pretty good excuse.

Everyone's really shaken up--you could feel the heat of the fire through the glass and to the other end of the living room--but we are so lucky. If we would've slept for like 2 more minutes, things could have got much, much worse. My little brother is practically a hero, getting everyone up and out of the house.

All my dad could say when we met him at the ambulance was "well atlease we didn't get charge for a false alarm".

On the plus side--there were a lot of attractive men there this morning.

One thing I did learn, was that I don't think I'm cut out for this firefighting thing. All I could do was just run the opposite direction, and I don't know if I'd be able to run into a burning building when everyone else is running out.

I'm going to a course in january at Humber College for 9-1-1 telecommunications, and eventually want to work myself into a job in fire prevention for community schools.

So, now I'm hoping the adrenaline will wear off so I can sleep. I'm exhausted.

Thanks for reading, friends.

My Running Family...

2010-05-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

I miss my running family. More than that, I miss being part of the running community. I’ve been running, although not as consistently, but mostly by myself. I’ve been the world’s crappiest blogger. Life has gotten so busy and so crazy.

I ran into someone from my running family today. And it was great. Conversations about training and racing. There’s like an unspoken respect for other runners. And I realized how much I missed being part of a community. When you run for 3+hrs with someone, you get tight. You’re real, and authentic. I miss reading your posts, about training and life. I miss everything about it.

And to be completely honest, I’ve felt really alone the last few weeks. Stuff has been happening, and it’s been so hard. I wished when I was going for a run that I’d have someone to run with, to talk to. Someone to give me a hug and tell me that everything would be okay. I know how ridiculous that all sounds, cause I got so many people to support me, but sometimes you can’t control feelings.

And so Tiger is back in the blogging world. I’m not sure I’ll be able to get out to the running world when all those other running people run, but I can post, and read blogs and comment and be part of a community again. Best part of a community like this? You're usually welcomed back with open arms!

So let me catch you up!

In the last year, a lot has happened. My moms been in the hospital twice, and is back there again. I’m planning and organizing a 5km race that will race $16,000 in support of Children’s Aid Society. It’s on August 29th. I’ve been in a dark bubble, I’ve been out of a dark bubble. I’ve run away from everything, and I’ve started facing the demons. I’ve had conversations. I trained 5 girls to run a half marathon. I did things. I did things I never would have dreamed I could do. I’ve stayed calm in a crisis without a plan. I’ve stayed positive in light of recent difficulties. I’ve fallen apart at the same time. I ran to survive. I ran to feel alive. I’ve hated running, and I’ve loved running. I’ve learned to put me first. I’ve been inspired, and I’ve inspired people. More than that, though, I’ve grown up. I got happy. And I got happy for me, and not for anyone else. I’m not sure what I wanna do anymore, but I am confident that whatever I do, it’ll be something amazing.

And now on to your blogs...

Oh no she didn't...

2010-04-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

Oh yes she did.
Its been a goal of mine for about 3 years. Every race I've run, every hot run I've done, I wanted to run in a bra top.
Before yesterday, I was never pleased with my body. This jiggled or that bounced.
I was convinced that everyone was going to be staring and laughing and judging.

So yesterday I was running with D and her baby Q.
It was very, very, hot. I was wearing a black long sleeved shirt. Smart, I knoow.
I casually mentioned that one day I'd like to be able to do this, and take my top off so I was only wearing a bra top.

I can't remember exactly what Danielle said..something about the moment.
And soo I insisted she wasn't allowed to look at me.

And I stripped off my topp, revealing parts of myself to the sunshine that hadn't seen sunshine for about 11 months.
And I ran.
And nobody stared at me, which put my mind at eaase.
And then I got into it.

So that's me. I can now run in just a bra top.
It may even become a regular occurance;)

Other updates: I'm still inspired. Who knows what's next.
My self expression and leadership program starts tomorrow.
I have mixed feelings, but mostly excited!!

Enjoy life friends!!

Tigrrr
Xoxo

The Feeling of Alive

2010-04-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything of any substance in awhile.
And I don't really have anything to say except Ive run 3 times in the last 2 days.
Here's something I posted on facebook awhile back, and I enjoy it.

It’s the feeling you get when you’re running up another hill, you’re 4th in the 2km’s you’ve done so far. It’s the lactic acid building up, you’re lungs feeling more on fire with every breath you take. It’s your calf cramping up, the stitch under your liver, the unquenchable thirst. Your legs are lead, and you feel like you can barely lift them. Dodging the people in the park and on the streets is exhausting, and surely adds km’s to your run. Everything tells you to stop, begs you to stop.

But you keep pressing forward. You put up with the lactic acid, the fire in your lungs, the calf cramps and the stitch under your liver.

And then something changes. You can’t feel the lactic acid, or the burning lungs or the side stitch. You know it’s there but you chose to let it be. You’re legs instantly feel lighter, like you’re walking on air. The people you are dodging become a blur and you do it effortlessly. Instead of being aware of the pain, you push that out of your mind. Instead you feel the crisp breeze. You feel the warmth of the sun on your face. You listen to the birds, the stream, the laughter of the people enjoying the village. You forget all everything you were worried about before, and are present to the things you are grateful for. For family, friends, fresh air, good health. You are present to your own strength—in running and in life.

And that, that’s the feeling of alive.

Is Tigrrr alive out there?

2010-04-20T19:38:00.000-07:00

Hi Folks,

Here's a quick little update.

I've not been feeling very comfortable in in my own skin. So, less junk food, more running.

I may or may not run the Mississauga Marathon.

Im looking for a second job to supplement the lack of hours at my current one.

I'm starting another program with landmark education. It's the Self Expression and Leadership Program. I'm very excited about that.

I'm pushing my firefighter goal up...September 2010.

Life is good, and I'm doing good.. I'm excited about life.

Boston Marathon was super inspiring. Perhaps a goal for the future.

Gotta go back to studying...

She's still alive

2010-04-06T06:54:00.001-07:00

Guess who's still alive out there?!

That's right! It's Tigrrr. And she's doing better than ever. She's running, studying her firefighter text book, and is probablygoing to run a half marathon in May. Haven't signed up yet, but I know I'm capable of it.

Beyond that, I'm just excited about life. Things aren't always amazing, but it's just part of the journey.And there's always a few things about my day that I love, things that make me truthfully happy.

Here's my favourite quote of the present. Take from it what you will.

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

P.S. When I'm not motivated to run, I call up my running buddy, and we take her baby in a stroller, and run to a place where they have magic cookies or icecream.

P.P.S. Check out my friend Elle's blog. She pretty much rocks.

A Cool new blog

2010-03-22T22:09:00.001-07:00

I have a new friend named Elle.
She's got a pretty cool new blog online.

The address is here.

She's a pretty inspiring gal. You should follow along as she learns to love life. I know I am:)

Weekend Learnings...

2010-03-07T18:43:00.000-08:00

So, since my landmark course, life has been a big learning curve. In more ways than one.
This weekend I saw my Grade 7 best friend, and it felt like I had seen her a week earlier. It was nice.
I went to a birthday party last night and wasn't feeling 100%. And still decided to drink WAY more than I should have.
Let's just say it didn't turn out positively, and its a good thing my friend had bathrooms on every floor.

Today I cleaned my room.
And I found many many things that reminded me of 'that place'
I had papers and binders of things I had planned.

I'm the kind of person who puts her whole entire heart and soul into everything she does.
When I saw these things, I broke. And cried. And then through it all out.
Everything. Except for my one binder that I had the Expo planning in.

And then I threw it out! And I wanted to even burn it!!!
And it was empowering!

I'm moving forward. Everyday it gets easier.
Tomorrow I'm going to high park, and going to run. Its one of my favourite places to run, but to be honest, I've been avoiding it.
I've been afraid of the feelings that would come up, and of running into people.

so here it goes.
I'm continuing to be amazing.
And it feels great.

What A Difference A Day Makes

2010-03-03T10:05:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to be "JUST FINE". I am JUST FINE.
Wait, I'm actually amazing.

I started work on Monday. I was under the impression that this new beginning stuff would magically erase the lingering lululemon sadness. I spent most of the day comparing and contrasting everything. Not a good idea. I ended up leaving at the end of the day, and crying myself into an uncomfortable sleep.

Mind you, I think alot of this has to do with the fact that I was SO far beyond exhausted, between working at Chuck E Cheese all day, and then going to pick friends up at the airport, and worrying about not getting up in time.

It's amazing what a difference a day can make. I woke up yesterday, and had stopped comparing, and got really into the things I was learning. I was still being "OLD Tiger," if you will. Worried about things I had no control over, worrying what everyone thought of me, all that stuff.

Then i woke up this morning, and a friend (check out her blog, she's pretty incredible) had changed her BBM name to "Happiness starts now, live in the moment," and I got it again. Instead of having a list of things I needed to get done today, I just did what felt right. I'll be going to work in about 15 minutes, but thats all I really had to do. I'd like to get a boxing class in at midnight, but am not going to freak out if I don't.

it's freeing to just be able to do what I want.

On a Running Note, I'll be Running the Mississauga Half Marathon in a bra top. For really reals this time. I'm still going to get it from lululemon because there I can't imagine running in anything else. I may just have to order it online. I'm going to California in September, and will be running a marathon in October in Prince Edward County. It's also going to be very easy, and safe for me to commute to work via bicycle.

I'm unstoppable, guys!

Chat Soon,

Tigrrr

So...

2010-02-16T14:21:00.001-08:00

They changed their minds in a week.
I no longer have a job.
And I'm disappointed and upset and sad and hurt. And there are so many things I could say but it simply is what it is.
And they're just being a stand for me. Or that's what they say.

Everything happens for a reason.

And I got a lot from it. It gave me the tools to help me become what I am. I went in almost two years ago and barely talked to anybody.

But it's just one more bump in the road to being great and amazing.
I mean, if statistics were right, I should be a drug addict and pregnant. Instead, I'm a marathon runner with big dreams and goals.

I'm freaking strong. And my life still rocks.

PLEASE HELP

2010-02-08T16:52:00.000-08:00

Friends out there in the blog world...
I finally understand how powerful my word is, and I understand the fact that I can create ANYTHING i want, even if I don't know how I'm going to do it.

So, I'm going to organize a race. I'm not sure WHEN it's going to be, but it will probably be a 10km race. I'm not really sure what's realistic.

However, I have created a survey about the decision to run a race, and the factors that are important.

I'd love if you could fill it out for me, and maybe put the link on your blog. It would help me out a lot!!

Thanks guys,
Any other comments or feedback or input can be left in the comment!

You Guys ROCK!!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/VK92YM5

Love Emily

P.S. I'm still Running!

Whole. Complete. Perfect

2010-01-27T08:55:00.001-08:00

“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to deci...de whether he is working or playing. To him he's always doing both.”

So much to tell you about this weekend's race!

I'm enlightened, and happy.

I'm whole, complete and perfect.

This is it, and IT is perfect.

I'm learning how to be in the world as it is and as it isn't.

I can actually be present in life. I can go into a conversation without having any
pre-concieved judgements.

I can empower people and be empowered by listening.

Each and every moment, I can re-invent myself from nothing.

As soon as I declare something, I can be it. Even if I don't know how I am going to do it. Do you think Ghandi knew how he was going to free India before he did it?

Feelings are experiences and they don't have to overwhelm me. I had my first real 'feeling' since Sunday--one that wasn't elation. Normally it would overwhelm me and define me as a person, but I was able to get myself present again.

Life is good.

I might run a half marathon instead of a full marathon though--the breathing thing isn't really working out so far this winter.

Thanks for reading,

Emily

This is it, and it's perfect. From nothing, who I am, right now is the possibility of being present and courageous.

this weekends race

2010-01-21T21:04:00.001-08:00

I feel like I do the day before a marathon.
Restless, anxious, insomiatic (yep, I'm pretty sure I'm making up words too.
Its 1206 am. And I should be asleep but all the above feeling are counter-productive when you're trying to sleep...just saying..

Tomorrow. Rather today, I'm doing the landmark advanced course.
Google it (its not a cult)
It's do or die time folks.
I'm playimg full out. I could lose so much if I don't (alll explained in that post I'll eventually post(

10am-midnight Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
I'll come back with possibilities.

Send me some love...
Tigrrr

this weekends race

2010-01-21T21:04:00.000-08:00

clinic started YESTERDAY!

2010-01-20T09:35:00.000-08:00

I joined a marathon clinic.
Out of the High Park Running Room.
There's hills EVERYWHERE and a pretty cool group of people.
Yesterday was 6k.

And every minute sucked.
And then I couldn't breathe for like an hour afterwards.
But then the endorphins hit.

And Tigrrr was back.
im still working on the post I've been wanting to post for awhile.
And maybe this will be a little bit of running and life blog.

New Year, New Blog

2010-01-11T08:39:00.000-08:00

Hello dudes and dudettes.

Soon I will open up the blog I am creating to the public. It has nothing to do with running (or not very much) but it has a lot to do with my quest to be a powerful young person who loves life.
It's the other blog on my profile. And I will post again when it is open!

Conrats to everyone who ran the disney marathon! (Or did that goofy thing).

All you runners out there in blog land inspire me

Love,
Emily.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hunakkah, Plans for the future

2009-12-18T07:11:00.000-08:00

Yep, I'm still alive.
No, I haven't been running very much. I've been doing a lot of yoga though.

I'm running the Ottawa Marathon in May.
I've started the strengthening process, and studying process to become a firefighter. (Work 7 days a month...yes please!)
Life isn't going to be

Nothing's going to get the better of me anymore.

Wishing you all happy holidays, no matter which ones you celebrate.

Love,
tigrrr.

Maybe I'll be around a little more from now on.

Sometimes I Surprise Myself

2009-10-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

Over the past 2 weeks...

I cooked a turkey.For real. I'm the kind of girl that burns Kraft Dinner and Grilled Cheese, but I cooked a freaking turkey. And carrots. And apple and pumpkin pie.
I put oil in my car. Before this, I didn't know where the oil was supposed to go.
I organized and followed through with a booth at the Goodlife Toronto Marathon.
I learned that I can plan and plan and plan but sometimes there are curveballs and you just have to roll with the punches.
That being said, I rolled with the punches (and spent 5hrs at Kinkos) and figured things out.
I drove in Downtown Toronto
I went in to the hospital to visit my mom (after a few days of not going in)
I drove on the highway. When there were cars on the road.

Among many many other things. And now I'm a nurse. Ha

The half marathon on sunday doesn't seem so daunting anymore.

Tigrrr

Niagara Falls International Marathon

2009-10-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

I just signed up for the niagara falls international half marathon.
On not a pinch of training.
I'll also be running in new shoes.

I dont know about you, but to me this reaks of a bad idea.

But it might kick my bum into gear!!

Tomorrow I'm cooking a turkey.
I burnt Kraft Dinner the other day.

That is all.

Mediocrity

2009-09-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

Ok friends.
I know it's been awhile. Infact, I'm not even sure if i posted after I went to Lake Placid and didn't sign up for Ironman. If I didn't...well then I owe you another post. This post I present you with today really doesn't have much to do with running. Or maybe nothing at all. But it's important to me to share it with you and since you guys are my blog family, and will still love me even when i don't post as much as I should, you can deal with it.

Things have been really hard for me. I decided not to go back to school. I'm working full-time. I'm not running. I'm making changes and doing things that are really hard but are going to affect my life for the better, and even though it really sucks I'm still doing them.

But I think I get stuck there. I get stuck in this place where nothing else really matters. I wake up, and I go to work. And I love my job. I mean, I love, love, love my job. I work with the best people and can go in on the verge of tears and I leave smiling and ok. But I want to grow and learn and when I am not fully present it's really really difficult.

Running for me is just more time to think, and that is really the last thing that I need. And it's frustrating. Because I love it. And I know I do. But it just doesn't make me feel as good because I'm so distracted. There are some pretty crazy, difficult, life changing things going on in my life right now and I'm stuck there.

So, here I am. I am committing myself to greatness. I will not let myself get stuck in my head. In the places that it doesn't do me any good. I know it's not going to be easy, but I am destined to do amazing things. The things that bother me now and keep me stuck will no longer dictate my life. I will run, and I will enjoy it. I will inspire people.

Who I am being is courgaeous, and the possibility that I am creating is the possibility of freedom, happiness and greatness.

Thanks for reading.

Perhaps a running related post for you soon?

A long Overdue Update

2009-07-08T17:34:00.000-07:00

Good news...Life is busy!
And it's kinda the exciting kind of busy. Not the stressful busy, it's the ok, kinda sorta figuring things out staying completely distracted until nighttime busy. And I'm enjoying it.

What I'm not enjoying is the part where I lay down at night and everything that I've been avoiding all day. And then I end up sitting there worrying about it until morning. I have some pretty amazing friends who put up with my blackberry messenger messages anywhere between 1-4am. I'm slowly coming up with a plan for this, BUT I'm pretty worried about starting it. And I'm not ready to say anything else about it. So we'll leave it at that. You can make up your own ideas, or try typing into the random magic GO Bar I have, but that's all you're getting:)

This weekend coming up is the weekend before my birthday. So I took Saturday off, and I'm going out Saturday night. i'm spending the day getting all beautiful (hair done, new outfit, and new shoes). Coming home to make jello shooters, and then pre-drinking. THEN I'm going out to a pub and having a good time. And I'm going to forget alll of my responsibilities for one night. I think I deserve that!

The following week is pretty busy...I have to get my bike repaired. Member when I fell off it?? WELL now the gears don't work. So I'm going into gears on Monday. Working the rest of the week, and working a boxing day type sale on Friday in Oakville. People who live in my area..come out. It's called midnight madness. And apparently they close down the streets and bbq corn and stuff. Party.

Saturday I'm taking a "beginner bike class". They teach you how to clip in, about proper gear selection and group ride ettiquette. Then you go on a ride. It's about time I guess.

The following weekend...I go to Lake Placid. To sign up for Ironman. Woahhh I still can`t get over that. I`m crazy or something. And it makes me a little naseous to think about it. But once I drop 700$ canadian on the thing, I`m pretty sure I`m gonna be super intense at training and I`ll be super fit within like 2 months and then I`ll do an amazing ironman and do so well that they invite me to do kona and i become a pro. Or I atleast finish. Hey, a girl can dream, right

Oh, and I`m now a licensed driver. Don`t worry, I won`t have my own car for a few months. As in like 20 months. Or 28. Or something. No roadtrips for me.
But I want to drive to Florida when I get my own car. Or texas. or Arizona. Or...Ohio. Or somewhere. Theres this chicken finger place in Ohio...they sell only Chicken fingers. Yeah. I would drive there just for chicken fingers. My favourite food.
If I do Ironman, does that mean I cant have chicken fingers...

I had a really good goal coacching and have some very exciting things in progress. I`m baccck home now. And I`m happier. Things aren`t different but I have thicker skin.

And that`s about it. I have pics but they is all on my crackberry. So You`ll have to wait. `
I`m going to catch up with you guys now.

Does anyone know how to make a `google reader`

Smile.Laugh.Breathe.

Tiger

Postponed construction

2009-06-12T05:44:00.000-07:00

So, I know I said I was going to work on this blog in terms of making it look pretty. Unfortunately, though, it seems as though it has taken a back seat. For a few reasons. Basically, though, you'll have to deal with the random "go bar' as I'm not even at home, and have to fight for the computer.

Here's a recap of the last 2 weeks.

*Got in a huge fight with the road. YEAH...the road won. I was okay, but my bike to one serious beating. So, I'm going to learn how to ride my bike when I get back to Toronto (my dad wouldn't let me bring it because I'm not so good at it). That is, of course, after I get it fixed. The back tire fell off, and the gears are not working properly. The bike shop is going to loveeee me.

* Got no sleep. I hate nighttime. With a passion. I studied a lot of exams. It kept me distracted and my mind busy. It was great. Then exams were over and I got punched in the stomach by life. I'm so thankful for the amazing people in my life.

*came to kingston!! I'm staying at my Aunt's house again. I love it. It's so relaxed and no stress. Pretty amazing if you ask me. I'm working at the lululemon down here! It's so different, but so much fun!! I wasn't worried about coming to meet the people down here, lulu's are the same everywhere. It's like "friends by association"...which is relieving! However, Kingston transit might as well not even exist. The buses don't run past 5:30pm to go to where my Aunt lives...

*Am seriously weighing options about school next year. I didn't do very well. one thing that became incredibly clear is the fact that I suck at multiple choice exams. I can throw everything back up at you, but if you give me four very similar options, I'll average about 33% on the exam. which is not what I do! I'm good at school. I also realized I'm pretty darn good at papers, getting an A on my paper in coaching class. so, i need to be in a program where I write papers. Possible options include:

Working full time and taking Health and Society courses part-time. That way I don't have to rely on government assistance to pay for school and I'm still able take courses towards my degree. I have already accepted that it's going to take me longer to finish school then most people.
Take a full year off school. Focus on gaining upper body strength. Work full-time and apply for the Humber college firefighting program.
Go to school full-time in Health and Society. It's a program where you write papers and stuff. If my GPA is high enough maybe try to get back into kinesiology the next year, but maybe just stay in HESO.

To be honest, I'm not too concerned. It was quite the year. I'm not deciding until August, and i've got my whole life ahead of me to figure all this out.

As for training, I'm running a lot again. My legs are coming back, my fitness is coming back, my fitness is coming back. My whole plan was to ride alot while I was in Kingston, but in order to ride I would've had to bring my bike. I'll focus on what fitness I can get right now, and I'll be doing the k-town triathlon in August. Just one more reason to come back to Kingston! There's water, boats, nice people and comparitively clean air. Fantastic.

So that's about it. ;). any suggestions on what i should do with school, or training would be greatly appreciated

Tigrrr

under construction

2009-05-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

I need a fresh start.
In more ways than one.
Good place to start? Why the blog of course. Anybody have any solutions to the issues on screen (random "GO" bar) let me know!

Bear with me for awhile. I have to make this iron thing official

Second Guessing

2009-05-01T06:29:00.001-07:00

I need your honest opinions.
Seriously. If you don't think it's a good idea for me to do it, then let me know. Please. I was going to write..."If you don't think I can do it, please let me know"...but I know I can do it. I just don't know if I should.

I'm talking about the Peterborough Half Ironman.

Here's my Logic:

Race is coming, Training is not: Biked outside 2 times, 90 minutes on trainer once a week. Outside is so much harder. Swimming--haven't been in the pool since February, if we're being completely honest. A couple of reasons too. The big one is that it's the hardest place for me to breathe. As for running, I'm not even in peak running fitness.
It's so expensive: Well maybe not expensive compared to ironman, but I get to go to school for an extra 2 months...and buy bus passes and stuff. And I can't work as much as I was planning on it. And I have to save money to get to lake placid (well gas for the car...lodging is already paid for). And it's $125.
I don't know why I used numbers: because I only had two points. I am going to go to Kingston in June. For 3 weeks. 3 weeks of perfect training time. If I can get myself into reasonable shape, then I can spend my time doing long rides and long runs and long swims. It's the perfect area and place. I love it.

But I don't know. My reason behind doing the peterborough half was to have a little confidence going into lake placid to sign up. (BECAUSE I WILL SIGN UP!). Maybe I could do an olympic in August. Do some fake halfs in December. Then

And I'm thinking--I wouldn't have gone into my first half marathon just winging it. I trained hard. For months. And I don't feel like this is something I should wing. I have papers due. (One 10 pg), 4 more midterms, 8 labs, and then finals. Plus I work, and am running a run club out of the store. Yeah.

The other thing I could do is train like I'm going to do it, and then sign up a few weeks in advance if I feel ready. That's totally not commiting, but this way if I don't think I'm ready, then I can back out and not loose anything. I don't think there is a cap on the race, and you can register race weekend for an extra 15$.

In Other News:

Em's army is running their first half marathon next weekend. I have two girls that are going to rock it and bring it in under two hours and I have another two who are going to rock it in about 2:30. I'll be running with them, and enjoying the race. I will also be winging this race. I did a 16k on Monday, and I'm doing one today as well. I'll be able to finish...The girls will be making race reports for you to read after the race. Wait until you see the shirts we have for this year! I'm soo excited!

In More News:

"You have, at this very moment, everything you need to deal with whatever life decides to throw at you"--Brian Tracey.

Sorta what gets me through my days. Yep.

So let me know what you're thinking about the half iron. Honestly. And I don't care if you tell me what I dont want to hear. And I promise not to hate you for it if you do. Just so you know.

I'll catch up soon!

Tigerr

Stayin' Alive

2009-04-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

I've been searching for the time to write a post for the last little while. I've missed you guys. In the process, I've learned a lot about myself. Infact, over the course of a sleepless, unproductive Sunday night, a roundtrip bus ride to and from school, a run and half a jar of peanut butter, I declared that I had the whole world figured out.

Well, maybe not the whole world, but my world.

Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

It all started one day last week, when the lovely Reluctant Runner left a comment on my last post, mentioning that there always seems to be optimism in my post, no matter what the circumstances. So I did this crazy thing, and went back to read a bunch of my posts. I read about the times that I made all these crazy goals and plans, and it was neat to see how excited I was. And after I was excited for an hour or two, I got sad. I missed that old version of Tiger.

Then of course, I had a really bad morning at home with my mom and other life stuff. There were two things that happened...one was good, the other not so good. The good thing is that it got me on the road to thinking about life and stuff. The bad thing was that lately I've been really bad at being the strong and fake Tiger everyone is used to seeing, so people caught on that I was eons away from being okay.

Saturday night, I'm not going to lie to you, I took gravol and went to bed. Quite simply. I wanted my mind to shut off, and I wanted to get in a good nights sleep. And it worked perfectly. My plan was to do the same thing on Sunday night.

A Sleepless Sunday:

It didn't happen. Another reasonably okay day, but things in my mind weren't okay. I couldn't stop thinking. Things that were on my mind included:

Home stuff--I'm not going to say much more on that based on the people that could possibly be reading this, but it was a big one, and there were lots and lots of things involved in it.
School stuff--possibly switching programs to Health and Society which is still somewhat related to Kinesiology and bringing my marks up...If I enjoy it, I might just stay in health and society and if i don't, I'll go back into kinesiology. I was thinking about dropping out all together, but I've already put so much money into this education, I'm coming out with a degree. I feel very much like I need to rebel against the institution that is University.
Disappointments: I was pretty upset after I didn't run Around The Bay, even though I couldn't have physically done it. There were also a bunch of little insignificant things that seemed to have a huge impact on me.
Fear: Who was I becoming?! This isn't the me that I know. This isn't something I do. What if i fail? What if they don't love me? What if I don't pull myself out of this? What if I'm never that person again. There were others that I again won't go into because of the people that are reading.

So, I dunno, 3am came around. What was I to do? There are people who I could've called, or text messaged, but I decided not to, and turned, in my messy,boogery state to my notebook...

What a Coincidence:

I pulled out the notebook from the course I had been doing from November to February. It was a Landmark Seminar Series called "Excellence in the Zone". We worked on living with integrity, turning complaints into possibility, seeing the best in people, all that good jazz.

There were complaints I had crossed off, replays of the scary conversations about inauthenticities (some that didn't go as well as I had hoped they would) and the sharing that had me shaken up for so long. After all that was the possibilities I had created and was excited about and the breakthroughs I had made. The things that were written down that I would never have had the courage to put on paper, let alone tell other people.

I then thought about what was different then than is different now. Circumstantially (if that's a word), nothing was different. What was different was that before, I was a person who was living in the moment, in the possibility and sharing it with other people, leaving them touched, moved and inspired. Recentely, I was being an ordinary person who let circumstances define who she was being. That's not the kind of person I wanted to be.

I looked at the commitment I had made. The commitment to living my life in the moment, with the intention on fufilling each possibility, and sent out a few e-mails, cleaning up some integrity, and recreating that possibility. It was incredible to see what a few words can do, and now I know that they have my back, and will call me out on it if I'm not living my life in excellence.

Proactivity

I was once having coffee with a incredible person, a week before my last landmark seminar. I had created this possibility the Saturday before about being connected. We were chatting and things came up that normally would have been uncomfortable and I just would have said that everything was fine.

We were chatting about family, and relationships and I actually spoke about the battle with depression that the person I love most in the world is going through. She said she thinks its genetic, but that you have to be proactive, rather than reactive when dealing with something like that.

It's amazing what people have to offer when you actually put yourself out there and let people in, when you connect with them.

I've looked at things that I need to do with my life in order to be proactive.

Deal With It: I really didn't enjoy it when the pop bottle got shook soo many times any couldn't function for a few weeks. If you don't put a lid on the pop bottle, then there is never going to be enough pressure inside of it to explode.
Set Goals: I get really excited when I set goals. Life just looks a little different, perhaps brighter. I love the challenge of someone telling me that I can't do something, and then proving them wrong. I love the milestones. I love solving problems. I love making progress. I have to re-look at my goals and then share them. When the inspirations gone, you gotta have someone to keep you accountable, right? Wanna hear a big one right now?! I'm still doing the Peterborough Half Iron, and ran 16km on Sunday, and am swimming tomorrow morning at 8am!!! I'm going to do it!!
Exercise: I struggled to exercise over the last little while, with school being rough and breathing being rough (read: another trip to the hospital...in the acute department) but I'm back. I figure sooo much out when I'm running. The rythmic motion is incredibly theraputic.
Friends: (and alcohol) fix everything, atleast temporarily. The text messages or phone calls or emails or just all in all support from friends is incredible. They make you learn stuff, they make you smile, and alcohol is fun for a little while (and when it wears off its fine as well if you do it right). I have a few people in my life who are my rock (which is pretty cool, considering I am the rock)
Write this Blog and read yours: You guys are so motivating and inspiring to me. I love reading about what you're doing, and the challenges you're facing. I love reading about what you want to do next, and your goals. I love it when I can offer my two sense or just a few words of encouragement. On the other hand, I also love it that I can come here and go all crazy and write out these crazy goals and share that part of my life with you (that some other people in my life don't necessarily get.) I love that I can come here and pour my little heart out into a blog and that you guys still read. It means a lot, and it helps alot.
What Comes Next: That same wise person once told me that people get stuck on the "what if's", and you can't get stuck. Write down all the "what if's" and then write down what you would do if these things actually happened. It's such an interesting concept, because half the time these things aren't as bad as we think they are!

The Summary, Incase You Didn't Read All That:

It's Okay to not be okay sometimes. People aren't going to hate you. You just gotta roll with the punches. It's amazing what kind of support you'll get if you let people in.

I feel like I've grown up

Conclusion

So that's Tiger coming back from her blogging hiatus, knowing herself a little bit better. I would love it if someone could tell me how to work google reader so that I can read them off my phone...I'd love it! (Can you comment from there too???)

School is still crazy, but I am making a commitment to you to post once a week. I'll have lots to talk about with Half Ironman Training, and the Mississauga Marathon coming up.

Thanks for bearing with me...

Tiger!

Looking Up...

2009-03-20T04:56:00.001-07:00

Friends, I know I haven't been around a lot.
A bad blogger if you will. I know you deserve better. But we all know how life gets sometimes so I'll hope you forgive me.

Things have been rough lately. They included emergency surgery, failing two of the four exams, several not so good runs, my quarterly nervous breakdown and my little sister getting the flu on her birthday and getting her first experience with an IV. She was not impressed.

The way that I look at myself is like a pop bottle. If you keep shaking the pop bottle, eventually it's going to explode. Mine shattered into a bzillion peices the other night, and now I'm constructing a bigger and stronger bottle. But I might leave the lid on a little loose this time. The silly thing is that what triggered the bottle was something incredibly silly. But like I said, it just takes a little shake. I stayed home the next day, I didn't feel like I could handle school, and I basically did nothing the whole day.

I'm starting to feel a little better. I find that I get myself into these little ditches and once I realize it, it's only a matter of time before I get myself out. I like to be proactive rather than reactive, and put myself into situations that I know I'll be okay. I find that writing and music helps. And running. And distractions. Thats another thing--I haven't been distracted enough recently.

The running has been inconsistent and hard. My biking has been the same. I was going to get back in the pool yesterday but my sister took my bathing suit 3hrs away with her. I was not impressed, especially since I missed my pilates class while looking for it.

It's down to crunch time. 12 weeks to half ironman. It's a Gale Bernhardt plan. I'll do it. I'm young and strong and determined. If you are doubtful, please pretend that you think I can do it. :) I find out the results of my test next Thursday. It might be as simple as a freaking allergy pill...Yahoo. I'll take what I can get though...!!

60/30...hahahha. Maybe in April. It's going to a good distraction...I feel like that plan was doomed from the beginning--not because I can't do it, because I totally can, but because I didn't take into account life and what it was going to throw at me/ all the homework and stuff I have to do. I ALREADY have midterms--and I've only been at school for 3 weeks!!! Seriously, what the heck. Oh well.

And I have some plans for June--I'm going to transfer stores, and work at the one in Kingston. Just for June. That way I can take my break, ride my bike to work everyday, go swimming and running, have my own little mini training camp and spend time with my favorite Auntie and take a break from life, which I need.

I'm going to take an official hiatus from blogging. I'll still be around lurking and commenting on your blogs. You can add me to facebook here. I'll still be on that with random thoughts from time to time.

Miss me while I'm gone. I'll be back soon!

Until we meet again,

Tiger

15 minutes and a wandering mind.

2009-03-09T05:01:00.000-07:00

Once again, in a time crunch to post a blog. And my mind is going NUTS so I need to write it all down.

Things are looking up.
I was super convinced that this test was going to fix me. Apparently my perspective keepers were on vacation because its not the test that fixes you, it's what happens after you see you doctor after the test.
So now I wait for an appointment.

The test wasn't that scary.
First things first: There were no needles.
Well, she pulls out this gianormous needle. It was the size of like, my hand.
And then she forgets to tell me that it's just to measure her solution. Then we did breathing tests by itself. After that, we did breathing tests after breathing in saline for 2 minutes. Then after that, I had to breathe in some substance, called methacoline, with each dose getting stronger and stronger to see how the breathing changed. Once I got up to 2 (mg)things started getting rough, and they went up to 16....
And it was super tight, and sucked to breathe. Sorta like everyday at work.

Then, they get me on a treadmill for like 7 minutes, at 7mph at a 12% incline. Seriously. Wtf.
After that, and some ventolin, I get to go...to work.
So I get on the bus and the subway (and I'm completely exhausted and shaking like a leaf.
And I get to work and apparently someone should have called me because they didnt want me there.
And I was too tired to fight, so I waited for my dad to come get me and slept the rest of the night.

The next morning, much to my dismay, I wasnt fixed. Saturday at work, I still couldnt breathe.
Same thing with yesterday.
And I started to get frustrated but my perspective keepers got back from vacation.
It's out of my hands now. All I can do is wait. Seriously. The people I am blessed with in my life are fantabulous. It's so annoying for me, so I'm sure it must be 100 x more annoying for them. But theyy dont show it!

Sunday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
I was miserable due to the hour less sleep, but as soon as I got out of my house and to work, things looked up, and I ended up having a wicked day.

Today, things are looking good.
I made my own lunch (but am having breakfast at the bagel place at school) and will be going for a run, and doing some sit-ups and push-ups when I get home.
And then going straight to bed. These days are going to be long!!!!

60 in 30 starts today!!!!
More details to come at the coffee shop after my run tonight (because I have to wait for my dad!)

K, time for class.
I'll be reading your blogs at 7:15pm. :) I'm so excited!!!

Love,
Tigerr

Postponed beginning.

2009-03-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

So, I have lots to write about, but only 15 minutes and a crackberry.

Right now I'm at St. Joe's hospital waiting to go get my pulmonary something or other test. And I am admittedly nervous. I have NO idea what to expect. What if there's needles involved (last time I went to emerg, I almost had to have one but fought them tooth and nail to NOT get one.

I mentioned that I was scared of something (I.e. Needles) to a friend and she said the most interesting thing that put things into perspective for me. "Are you scared of needles, or are you more scared of breathing like this forever?"

True enough. And I'm tough and unbreakable. And a tiger so if they try and stick anything in my paws, I've got sharp nails.

So think of me today. This should tell us what we're dealing with.

The 60 workouts in 30 days is going to start on Monday, because this week I'm going out for a much needed (and well deserved) dose of alcohol. And the minute I finished my last exam, I got sick. Of course, right?

Not really sick its just a "body so exhausted its not going to let you do anything for awhile." Kinda sick. So we give it until monday and then I take control!!!

Exams went bad. I passed 2 and failed 2. Which means I failed two courses. I dropped one course. I'll get over it. And do amazing this term. It'll all be okay!

So I have to get in the alligator to go upstairs and do what they want me to do. Think of me, dear blogger buddies.

Tigrrr

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Postponed beginning.

2009-03-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

I need a goal...

2009-02-26T09:48:00.000-08:00

Its 2 down, 3 to go in terms of exams. At 630 it will be 3 down 2 to go. The stress level is dwindling ever so slightly, the light at the end of the tunnel is very dim, but its definitely there.

In terms of eating, I'm very disappointed in how I've been eating. They say you "fall off the wagon, but I was thrown off at 90 mph and it kept going so I'm going to have to catch it.

One of the things I am considering is called the reset cleanse. Its about 140$ and is 5 days long. I just asked for more info, but I'm feeling fat and bloated and gross, and with the breathing and exams my exercise is very low. I haven't signed up for the half iron yet, but I have until june. If I don't feel ready then, I won't do it. I'm thinking about a sprint and an olympic to see what I'm capable of. I've already planned to go to LP and paid for my cabin, so I'll still sign up for Ironman USA, but I'd rather know I can finish the half.

So with lack of exercise and healthfulness acknowledged, I need a goal. One of those dayplanner goals that I know I won't be able to keep up for a month, but something to keep me on track for peterborough.

Goals not only keep you on track, but it helps keep me distracted. It keeps my mind busy so that I can be all strong and fake infront of the people who know me as unbreakable and unbendable. I'm slowly giving this up, but its like a daily battle. Things in life are tough right now, and everyone needs something to hang on to.

I'm so used to being the rock. And I have a super supportive friend that is my rock. But all the other times, this can be the one thing that I actually have control over.

So here's what I was thinking...

60 workouts in 30 days. I haven't worked out the logistics but it seems like it will work quite well.
When I figure it out, I'll let you know. It starts Sunday though.

So that's it guys. Expect a veryyy happy blog post on Monday.

Thanks to you all for your incredible support, advice and belief in me. It means a lot to me.

Big hugs,

Tigrrr
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

The (non-running) solution to EVERYTHING!!

2009-02-22T09:25:00.001-08:00

Of course, running fixes everything. For that hour (or two or three of four) that we spend on the road, the world is fine. Its just you, and the pavement and the scenery as you pass it by.

I've found as of lately though that sometimes when thing get you down, or your angry or stressed, it's not always possible to run. Sometimes its the wrong time of day (read: midnight) and sometimes circumstances don't permit (read: 3hrs of sleep all week and an exam the next morning).

Of course, running should always be our first method of getting rid of the fears, tears, anger and frustration, but as a public service and thanks to all my Running Blogger Friends, I would like to share with you the two things that make life all better when you cannot get a run in.

I'm not exactly sure how to bold from my crackberry, so I'm just going to do it in list form!

1) PEANUT BUTTER: first and foremost peanut butter has the ability to fix all things that are wrong in life. But there is a way you have to do it for it to work properly.

- take a jar of peanut butter and a spoon.
- take that jar of peanut butter into your room
- prop up some pillows and crawl under your blanket.
- open the jar of peanut butter and take the spoon, and scoop out a BIG spoonful of the glorious stuff.
- stare out your window and nurse the spoonful of peanut butter.

Soon you will feel a warm fuzzy feeling inside...life will be okay.

Pros:
* its healthy!
* it tastes like heaven
* its cheaper than therapy (especially in this bad economy)

Cons:
* its not running
* some people may be allergic
* there might be some weight gain if you continue to eat peanut butter and stop running (or finish off half a jar in one sitting like I did)

2) Sleep:

I guess it works. After I finished the peanut butter on Thursday night I slept. And I was soo incredibly productive the next day... Seriously. There aren't many steps to achieving success in this situation. Perhaps you could even use the same bed when you ate the peanut butter. A teddy bear (or other person to cuddle with is imperative to the " everything is okay feeling" that you are aiming towards.

Pros:
* you sleep through what you don't want to feel
* most of the time you wake up well rested

Cons:
* you can't do anything productive during this time
* there is a possibility for nightmares
* you want to do it more often.

So that's my solution to everything right now.

I tried to write a more happy positive post today! I'm still not able to catch up quite yet, but I'm here thinking about all of you guys.

Big love,

Tigrrr

"Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog"

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Life Through The Eyes of A Runner...

2009-02-19T06:47:00.001-08:00

Editors Note: I know I said I wasn't going to post until the 2nd of March, BUT I wanted to tell people that would understand. And I know you guys do. So here it is.

I hadn't ran in awhile up until yesterday.
And then I ran. And it sucked. It was sooo hard.
My legs hurt.
My lungs burned.
The drinking straw that I normally breathe out of turned into the size of one of those coffee stir sticks.
I started coughing.

I stopped to walk.
I started to cry. A lot. Tiger has given up the "I don't cry" persona in front of her blogger friends.
After a few minutes, I started to run again.
And I started thinking.

And I wasn't thinking about school stuff. And I wasn't thinking about the exams. And I wasn't thinking about how much I had to do. I was thinking about how much this run sucked. I glanced down at my hand and saw my word, "Unbreakable". It's always written on my hand.

Then I was like, "HEY!! I'm unbreakable!!"
And then I thought:
"This run sucks, yes, but WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?! You haven't run in a very long time. Of course things are going to hurt, they forgot what they're supposed to do."

And then I started thinking about the last time I took a running hiatus. And after about 3 weeks I was right back into it! And coming out stronger than ever. So I'd get through it. I'd finish the run as much as it sucked (and stayed close to home too just incase I needed something/someone).

And then I started thinking about life. About school. About that "Not okay" feeling that I've had in the pit of my stomach for the last few months. About the overwhelmed, on the verge of tears at all times feeling. About the total fear of breaking somewhere that wasn't out of the eyes of the people who know me as 'strong' and 'unbreakable' and I realized something.

I realized that it too will pass. Just like the sucky run after a running hiatus, all those "not okay" feelings will pass too. And I will come out Stronger than ever!

So I'm feeling a teeny bit better about life today.
Isn't it amazing what you can figure out on a run?!

So now I'm really disappearing...until March 2nd. See you then.

So Much For That

2009-02-18T10:24:00.000-08:00

No workouts.
Unless you can consider the 12 stairs from the 5th floor of the library to the 4th at which point the escalator picks up again a workout. Seriously.

I eat really bad but I'm pretty impressed that I am sleeping 3 to 4 hrs a night. This is good news*. This next week is going to be hell. Infact it actually makes me feel like I want to vomit. Later ill post what I've got going on...I'm back to list format...like before the marathon.

I will not be swimming at all until after march second. Its hopefully like running--3 wks and ill be fine again. Yep...

Biking and running are going back to 5am because I can't study or focus without it. The only exception is today. I'm running out of high park and then going to a yoga class for a friends birthday. Then I'm going back home to study...that thing I've been doing for the last 2 wks. And get this...we've been off for three months and we had midterms this week and last, and starting saturday we have finals.

I've failed 2 midterms this week, and yeah. I've been studying continually. It isn't fair. Blah blah blah. I know life isn't fair.

Got other fun stuff to update you on. I'll be back march 2nd. See you then. Miss me while I'm gone!

Love,
Tigrrr
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Is it March 2nd at 10:30 am yet?

2009-02-12T11:42:00.001-08:00

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

-----Original Message-----

From: tigrrruns@gmail.com

Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:38:26

Blogger buddies!!

This is my first post on my crackberry!! This is also a post in which I ask for your words of wisdom, or perhaps re-assurance that I will survive the next 3 weeks.

Its only week one, and I wrote an exam yesterday and got the marks back and did realllyyy badly. The real kicker is that I thought I did well.

Tonight I'm working until about 10pm, studying until 230am, and then making sure I get some sleep because my body apparently doesn't work when I haven't slept.

And tomorrow I have 2 exams.

I have this nauseating overwhelmed feeling going on, and not sure how I'm going to survive.

"The elevator to success is out of service...you have to take the stairs..one step at a time."

I would put a picture of myself on here cause I want to try it but instead I'll put a picture of what my nourishment consists of.

Mmmm hero burgers!

Tigrrr

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

crackberry

2009-02-09T13:58:00.001-08:00

I thought I had time for a real post.
But then I remembered how much I forgot. If that makes any sense.
So I've been in the library since 10am, minus a 45 minute break for some nourishment (if you can call it it 'nourishment)

My runs are happening at 5am. My bike rides are happening at 430 am. I am running off 3-4 hours of sleep.
I'm back to my student diet of mac and cheese, redbulls and mr.noodles. If i could figure out how to send a picture to my blog via my new Crackberry, or how to blog via crackberry, I would show you what my work station looks like:) . EDIT*** Emailed myself the picture and downloaded onto my computer and then posted it here. Theres gotta be an easier way. Let me know if you know about blogger for blackberry!:)

Oh yeah, I bought a crackberry. Or a black berry. Good things: I CAN KEEP UP WITH YOU GUYS!!! Bad things: People will ALWAYS Be able to get in contact with me.

So I can't take anymore of a break, but thats where my life is.

OH AND I WENT BOXING YESTERDAY!

My Interview and Life Update

2009-02-04T09:33:00.000-08:00

School Update: It's going to be a hell of a month, and I might want to die by the end of it. But, I'm the unbreakable Tiger and I will definately get through it! 4 midterms next week, exams the week after, then winter term. Gotta put the nose to the grindstone.

Health Update: I can run again. The specialist I went to see was mean!!! He didn't think it was regular asthma. The time that it mostly happens is when I'm at work and it's not under high stress situations (cause I thought it might be anxiety) so we're thinking it's allergy induced. Yay for more tests. I however, am allowed to run again. I hadn't run since being told I should not run too fast/far because there was another hospital day on the Thursday, and I was exhuasted for awhile.

Today I'm running and riding my bike, tomorrow is a busy day so I'm running first thing in the morning. Friday is a swim and run. I'm making up for lost time:) I misssss running!

Life Update: I'm in the process of a new post on the life aspect. I've done some searching and think I have some things figured out!!:) Wait on the edges of your seat.

1. If you could accomplish only one thing in the rest of your life, what would it be?
I will be a firefighter that inspires young children by going to schools and speaking about experiences and teaching potential firefighters about firefighter fitness and training.

2. In terms of running, what's your favorite race experience?
So far, the marathon. The whole experience of training, getting injured, healing, getting sick before hand, the race expo, running the race, struggling through the race, having a nervous breakdown at 32km, seeing my friends at 36km, having another friend run with me and tell me that in "3km you'll be a marathoner", running some of the last 500m with my little sister and brother, crossing the finish line, limping around the finish line, someone yelling at me to get my chip, sitting down under E to find my family, a volunteer lending me her cell phone to call my parents, my family running toward me while I sat on the bench crying (cause I was happy), a million pictures, them saying a bunch of really nice things to me that I really didn't understand or remember cause I was so disoriented, getting in the car to go visit my friends at work who had listened to me for the previous 4 months, the 24hrs on the couch, working a day later not able to walk and people making fun of me...the whole experience was so amazing. Thanks for letting me relive that!:)

3. If you could run any single company, institution, or organization in the world, whcih would you choose and why?
I'm going to with the education system. I think that it could be drastically improved. I would make the school day longer, and I would make time for physical activity. this would also help parents who don't get off work until like 5pm. I would also group the classes by learning style and pair them with an instructor who teaches the same way as they learn. Smaller class sizes, more money for teachers if they successfully teach their students and higher expectations of students, because we are putting more resources into them. I'd also like to teach different languages (japanese, russian and korean) starting in grade one.

4. What's the best part about living in Canada?
I'm going with free health care. I live in a place where I can go see several specialists and go to several doctors if I need to, and nobody ever gets turned away. I live in Toronto, and I also like the variation in weather. It rains, snows and is sunny, and doesn't get below -30 celcius.
5. If you were stranded on a desert island and could only take with you one object that you currently own, what would take?
Pretty silly, but I want a journal and pen. Im constantly writing things down, and thinking and analyzing things so I think I would go crazy if I didn't have something to write things down with. I Could adapt to running with no shoes and with no Garmin and with no watch.

To play along:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post
.5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

So thats that!
Stay tuned for some more excing posts!!!! Goal setting in one, a look at myself, a final decision on ATB, andd more tri training posts.

The Good, the Bad and The Ugly!

2009-01-27T08:50:00.000-08:00

I have so much to say, but I'm so exhausted. So, I'll make this a short post seperated into the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good:

I had the best day in a long time yesterday. Woke up and met a friend to go buy running shoes, and then went out for coffee. Came home and enjoyed a nap (cause I nap like I'm an old person lately) and went out at about 9pm to have "A Life Sentence" from Demetris. It was peanut butter icecream with fudge and brownies and chocolate sauce and bananas. And whip creme. Absolutely fantastic. I has been dreaming about it since Saturday night. On top of all that, it was super good company:).

Also got into my doctors by February 3rd, so that means I should be able to start running again by February 4th.

We're going back to school soon too. The government has finally stepped in after 3 months, and are introducing a Back To Work Legislation. Once passed, it will take about 2 days to get back to school.

The Bad:

We're going back to school. That's going to be a rude awakening when I have to get up at some un-godly hour. If we are back to school by the Monday, I also have a doctors appointment at the time when I'll have class. That way I'll have to choose between school and health.

I'm still not breathing very well and get absolutley exhuasted after being awake and active for more than 5hrs. So it's work, and then come home to sleep. Woohoo. What a life.

Still haven't quite snapped out of the zombieness.

The Ugly:

I am getting VERY VERY VERYYYY grumpy about not being able to run. Im getting fat, have little energy. Every 3rd person I meet is a runner, and makes me want to run more. Boo.

Thursday was once again spent in the hospital. They're going to know me by name soon. It's frustrating and embarassing, but I'll be fixed soon. This

We're going back to school. I have a 100% anatomy final.

So thats my life.
Now it's off.

Doctor Update

2009-01-21T07:47:00.000-08:00

I went to the doctor to get ONE referral, to the doctor that I wanted to go to.
And I got it.
But, I also got a referral to 2 other doctors, and one other procedure.
All marked urgent. So basically I am on call to doctors. If they have a cancellation and call me to be there the next day, I go with no questions asked.

I described to her that I was feeling like there was a little man sitting on my chest all the time, and it was making it difficult for me to breathe, and she decided I needed an EKG, a heart ultrasound and a pulmonary functions test, on top of the referal to the doctor I wanted.
On top of this, easy running only. No more than half hour to fourty-five minutes.

Ok. Fine. Better safe than sorry BUT how am I going to train for the Around The Bay Road Race, that's in about 2 months, hm? Half hour is like 6k, ATB is 30...thats a bigggg difference.
Stressing out a little bit.

Any thoughts?

Crazy?

2009-01-18T17:31:00.000-08:00

So, I've been a really crappy blogger lately. I only post/read once a week. I do want to assure you though that although I don't comment on all the posts, I do read them all:)

Somethings wrong with me. I'm pretty confident I might be going crazy. I'm sleeping sooo much and still have no desire to get out of bed. I'm finding that when I'm in bed, I'm having nightmares, and when I'm not sleeping I'm thinking. I just can't seem to shut my mind off. Even at work, I'm not my usual happy peppy self. I've been eating healthier, drinking lots of water, and getting a decent amount of exercise but I can't seem to shake it. Seriously--I'm going with crazy. And when I say crazy, I mean crazy. And I don't use that word lightly--just ask anyone that has used that word in my presence before. I just feel like a zombie. It makes me kinda sad.

With that being said, the next logical thing is to tell you that it has been another mediocre week for training. Part of it could be the fact that there is a little man sitting on my chest constantly. I'll be going to the doctor on Tuesday, to get a referal to the Chronic Cough Clinic. I'm hoping that he'll be able to fix me.

I did go out and purchase a triathlete magazine, and got in 3 runs and 3 bike rides. My dad still doesn't think that I'll finish the Half Iron in Peterborough.

Tell me I can't and I'll show you I can.

I would also like to share something with you guys...I love my job. I've said it before. I've figured out one more thing that i like about it. The fact that I always feel loved when I'm there and when I leave. It's a nice feeling:)

So here's to a better week, and being a better blogger.

Love,
Tiger

HIM Training Program--feedback appreciated:)

2009-01-11T21:30:00.000-08:00

So I plan. I like to plan for everything. The weather, what it's going to be like when I leave, how much water I need when I run, how much energy, and when in doubt, I always bring/get more than I need, just to be safe. The sad reality is, however, that I can plan for things in my life, but I cannot prepare. I'm talking about family stuff, and I know I"m being cryptic, but this is so you know where my state of mind is.

This last week of base building for Half Ironman Training hasn't gone as planned. I'm not going to lie that I'm a little dissappointed. First, I'll outline my plan for you, so you can give me some feedback on my plan. I'd appreciate it:)

Base Building: 5 weeks. Swim 3x per week. 30 min, 30 min, 45 min. Swimming is definately my key limiter as they say in the book Going Long. Run (by time--but I'd like to convert into mileage, so I can keep track of that good stuff. No getting discouraged though.) 3x per week. One strength (45-1hr at tempo pace), 1 Speed session (800's!), and one long run (I'd like to be up to about 2hrs--I have ATB at the end of March). Cycling: 3x per week. Work up to long ride of 1:15. Midweek rides 1hr, and 45min. One brick workout- 30 min ride followed by transition run (the amount of time it takes to get from your cycling legs to running legs)

Recovery: Same intensity, half the volume.

Build One (4 weeks): Start building towards Half Ironman Distance. 3 swims per week. 35 min, 35 min, 50 min. Run (still by time), 1 strength, one speed, one long run (work up to about 3hrs!). Cycling 3x per week. Long ride of 1:45 by the end, increasing 10 min each week. Midweek rides 1:10 and 55 min. One brick work out--45 min ride followed by 20 min run.

Recovery 2: Same intensity- almost half the volume. This acts as a mini taper for Around the
Bay which should be on the Sunday of this week.

Build Two: Three swims: 45 min, 50 min, 1hr 10 min. Running 1 strength, 1 speed and one long run (which actually might be reduced given the fact that my next race isn't until May and it's a half marathon--I might even try to PB.) Long ride of 2:30 increasing 15 min each week. Midweek rides 1:10 and 1:30. One brick workout 1hr followed by 30min run.

Recovery 3: Same intensity, half the distance

Build 3: 3 Swims, 1hr, 1hr, 1hr 1hr 20 min. Running--1 strength, one speed and one long run. Long ride of 3hrs 15 min increasing by 15 minutes each week. Work up to a brick workout with a 2hr ride, 1hr 15 min run.

Recovery 4: Same intensity, half the distance.

Build 4: 3 swims, 1hr, 1hr, 1:20. Running 1 strength, one speed, and one long run. Mississauga Half Marathon is during this period, so I may have to cut the third week down a little bit depending on how my body responds. Long ride of 4hrs, increasing 15 minutes each week. Work up to brick workout of 3hr ride, 2hr run. (Wow, sounds kinda crazy to be working out for 5hrs straight...)

Recovery 5: You know what I'm going to say here.

Peak: I'm STUCK! Someone please explain to me what a "peak" should look like...

Taper: How long should I taper for?...

RACE DAY!!!!

Recap on my week:

Monday: Started the week off good; 30 minute ride, followed later in the day by a 50 minute run. Run was pretty slow, with best friend. Ate good, had lots of trouble breathing and had since Saturday.

Tuesday: Very difficult 30 minute bike ride in the morning. Work in the evening. Left work early beacuse I couldn't breathe. Very frustrated, and very exhausted.

Wednesday: Had big plans because it was a day off--instead I spent the afternoon in the hospital with my mother as she had a procedure done. Ate icecream. Only bad food I had all week.

Thursday: Starting to not feel too great. Whole family had been sick. 45 minute run in the am, work in the evening. Still eating healthfully.

Friday: Reallyyy not feeling well. 45 minutes on bike in the morning. Took my sister to the museum in the evening. Played Wii Fit for awhile. Sleep.Didn't eat much all day.

Saturday: I think I might die. Worked from 8-4. Came home and napped. Babysat my sister (which include nothing more than movie watching and napping on the couch. Had a bath to try and get warm, and warmed up my heating pillow. Slept. Woke up with a burning chest and sat on the floor in my bathroom because thought I was going to throw up.

Sunday: Woke up about 10. Didn't run, didn't bike. Laid on my couch, until about 1130 at which time I had to go to work. Came home and played Wii fit for awhile, and then went to sleep. Following this I woke up and started writing this blog post.

Update on Lake Placid: And the million dollar question: can you make it so your Credit card has a negative balance? For example instead of saving money in an envelope and be temped to spend it, I could put it against my credit card and maybe have say--negative $1000.

I got my cabin. It's in Wilimington, 10 miles outside of Lake Placid. THey have them at a special rate for Ironman. And theres beds and a tv and stuff. It's perfect. I put my deposit down and got my confirmation (finally) today. I could take the greyhound to get there but I don't know if I can take my bike on the bus (nor do I know if I want to). The train is going to take 3 days. Like I said--dad will drive me if I'm in a pickle.

Now, I am committed to getting up early enough to catch up with alllll of your blogs, and get a bike ride in.

Goodnight loves!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm a little late.
Things have been crazy, busy, and fun!

I went to my Grumpy's for Christmas which was a lot of fun, even though we didn't get to stay as long as I wanted to stay. (This was my fault, I had to work on Boxing Day!) Guess what I got for Christmas?!? Guess.

Road cycling shoes!!! I also got the pedals and the cleats. I took my pedals to sporting life after a week of buying things that didn't fit into the pedals and then finding out I needed things like Torque wrenches and tension adjusters. They installed them for free, and I got home, and put the cleats on and got all excited and ready to go but i found out that I needed at 3mm allen key. My dad only has imperial allen keys and wrenches, so I have to go out and buy some today. I'm prettyyyyy excited though because it shouldn't take long once I have them.

New Years was pretty boring. I saw Marley and Me with my family--all 8 of us. Saddest movie in the world and I think it traumatized my little sister. I came home and fell asleep on the couch for awhile and almost missed New Years. Woke up at 11:30 and got a game of battleship going so I could stay awake. I was in bed by 12:10am. What a party animal I am.

Since Christmas, I ran 6 times, and biked 3. Not superb, but it's still keeping things alive. I've still been having problems with the breathing, and it's getting really old. Summer will be here beforeeee we know it. Haha, I'm trying to keep a positive mentality.

SO: Now what you really all care about.

I'm in Planning Mode!!!!!!

First things first: I've designed my Half Ironman Training Plan.

I've been reading going long, and I'm basing it around that.

I know, I know. You're just beside yourselves with excitement. BUTTTT You'll have to wait

I've been looking at hotels, and Bed and Breakfasts and cabins and motels and checking availability and calling people, and looking at bus tickets and train tickets and carpooling and bribing my dad to come and drive me.

The lodging is the most frustrating part.

Everyone either has a 5 or 7 night minimum, and many don't even have availability. There is one I am looking at but my dad doesn't like it because of the cancellation policy or something. It might just have to do.

I'm thinking about camping. Seriously.

AND I JUST SIGNED UP TO VOLUNTEER!!!

Now, onto my first brick workout ever! You'll hear about that (and my training plan) tomorrow!

2008 in Retrospect

2008-12-29T18:25:00.001-08:00

So, friends, I tend to write one of these every year (Well, at least starting last year). It’s fun to look back at all the things I’ve done and been through, and pick lessons out of all the things I haven’t been able to see so far.

January: Glad to be back in school with my friends. Didn’t miss the work, but definitely missed the people. Joined the marathon clinic with the intention of doing the marathon. Remembered how much work school and having a job at the same time was.

February: Found out that ‘Reading Week’ is actually supposed to be used for reading, and catching up. Wrote some papers, did some reading, and decided on the Half-Marathon instead of the full marathon. Met one of the best Running Buddies in the world!

March: The month before finals. Busy. No blogging. Running only to keep me sane. Started to realize that the job I was doing wasn’t making me happy—for the first time in 5 years. E-mailed a friend who raved about her job and she got me an interview. Started the process of revamping my diet. Had to give up the habit of Mr. Noodles, Macaroni and Cheese and 6 pack a day Red Bulls. I was a pretty grumpy person for awhile...

April: First set of University finals. It was intense. Noticed that you can walk into a room with 1500 other people, and there can be absolute silence.

May: Agreed to coach my first half-marathon clinic at the Square One running room. Got excited about it, and started to plan routes, find speakers, and get allies for helping me coach, and giving me feedback. Mom went into the hospital for a ‘routine procedure’, and ended up there for over a month. Ran a half marathon with Jeanette and broke 2hrs. No med tent this time. Watched my brother do his first race and get hooked as well.

June: Mom comes home, doped up on every kind of drug possible for every possible kind of pain. Realized that I don’t like doctors, and that I don’t like medication. Started having some pretty cool conversations with my Running buddy. It’s amazing the kind of things you can discuss on a 3hr run. Decided that it was a marathon I would be training for and basically told every single person that came in contact with me—This way I couldn’t get out of it! Started coaching the clinic at the Running Room with the most exciting, dedicated people I’ve met.

July: Turned 2 decades old. Bought my first road bike and fell off of it into the middle of Queensway into Oncoming traffic. Injured my knee and pretty much wasn’t able to cope with life for the month. Reconfirmed my dislike for doctors and medication. Got my first taste of ‘goal setting’, and went in with 3 pages of goals that I had written at 4am...things written that I never wanted anyone to see. Realized someone had looked at them and left work that day crying. ( as soon as I walked out the door of course—I don’t cry in front of people).

August: Accepted an invitation to go to landmark. Worried about it constantly. Just ask my best friend. Was getting tired of training for a marathon, running 5-6 days a week. Possibly burnout. Remembered why I love to run by putting away the Garmin and speaking with people who were no longer able to do so. Tried and failed at planning an event.

September: Year 2 of University. Hard, but fun. Learned that you can make as many lists as you want, but if you don’t have enough time, the list is worthless. Fed everyone around me Vitamin C, in hopes that I wouldn’t get sick and still ended up getting sick the week before my marathon. Met bloggers Marci, Marlene and Laurel. Ran a marathon. I’ll say that again... Ran a marathon! What I can describe as the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. Only got through it thinking about the fantastic people that helped get me through the previous four months. The idea of pacing no longer eludes me. (We’ll test this one at Around the Bay in March)

October: Attended landmark. I thought the marathon was hard. Cried for the first 2.8 days, but what I got out of it was invaluable. Started to not feel well and have trouble breathing. Experienced the post race blues. Had an asthma attack on the bathroom floor at work when nobody was home (classy, I know). Learned that you have to treat your body well, in order for it to be responsive and do what you ask. Had my first (forced?) DNS (did not start) at the Toronto marathon due to pneumonia. Still got up to support my clinic at the race. They all finished, so I guess that makes me a good coach.

November: Indoor allergies got exponentially worse. Couldn’t breathe on a frequent basis. School went on strike. Experienced disconnect from life. Hated doctors even more when mom said she would go to the seminar, but they should she couldn’t go, and just gave her more drugs. Realized how much words can actually hurt, even though than don’t mean anything. Got very excited when a bunch of people I knew did Ironman.

December: Bought a bike trainer. Decided that I was going to do Ironman. Pretty uneventful, actually.

Things I’ve learned:

I learned that Life isn’t actually that hard.

I learned that things only mean what you make them mean.

I learned that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped

I learned that you can’t make someone want to love life

I learned that you can’t always be happy

I learned that anything is possible

I learned that it's better to wonder than to worry

I learned that tears aren’t a sign of weakness

I learned that it’s okay to need people

I learned that I have the best friends in the world

I learned that sometimes I bend, but I am UNBREAKABLE

Interesting Week and Holiday Greetings.

2008-12-22T05:07:00.000-08:00

Again, Life is Crraaazzzyyyy.

My trainer is amazing--cycling legs are WAYYYY different than running legs. I don't have either right now.

My Crazy week went as follows:

Wednesday:Trainer ride, great run with besest running buddy. Didn't feel like we were running at all. Agreed to shovel driveway while she was gone. More on that later.

Thursday: 30 minute trainer ride (at this point, 30 minutes is my "Long" ride) while watching Grays Anatomy.

Friday: Work at 8am. Had a lot of trouble breathing. I know that's been happening a lot lately. I do have asthma. It's really bad at work cause there is so much dust and the air circulation is so bad. Basically what happens is I'll walk into work and my airways seem to close up, and I hang out like that until I start getting coughy and wheezy. Even then, I'm fine. I'm learning to deal with it. However, nobody understands this, and they make me sit down. If my fingers start to get crampy then I know it's beyond me and I need to sit down.

I couldn't convince them that I was okay, and they tried to call an ambulance, but I insisted on being driven across the street: a) because it wasn't a real hospital, and I despise hospitals and b) because I didn't want to be alone and nobody had a car.

So after having machines attatched to me (it's a fake emergency room) and fighting life and limb to not get an IV, and having a doctor and a nurse stay with me for the first 20 minutes to make sure I was okay, my friend called work and they tried to get ahold of my emergency contact (which I didn't know I gave them, btw). They gave me some pretty good relaxing drugs too. I ended up calling them and not getting ahold of them until 2 minutes before the doc came in to let me go.

I got home at 4:40 ish, and slept on and off until pretty 11am Saturday. It's absolutely exhausting when you have to work 10 times harder than normal to breathe.

The girl that was with me was fantastic. She has asthma and her mom called, and her mom got me the number for the asthma doctor, and told me to go to my doc to get a referral. SO! Oh, and I was also goal coaching my nurses.

Saturday: Shovelled super Danielle's driveway! New plan: When I get a house in High Park, I purchase a snow-blower first. Worked from 4pm-2am. Fun times.

Sunday: Still absolutley exhausted. Wanted to get up to do trainer ride, but it wasn't in the cards. I slept until aboutttt 1pm and my mom took me to work in a blizzard for 2pm. Came home at about 8, slept until my brother ordered dinner and it got here, had pizza and my new steriods (which have some pretty scary side effects) and went back to bed until about 20 minutes ago. I'm starting to feel almost human.

Todays plan: Finish last minute Christmas shopping. Go to movie with brother because that is our thing and we haven't done it in awhile. Come home, 20 minute trainer ride to something ironman related on Youtube. Possibly some core strength depending on the energy I have. Decorate nook, and put up all the pics on my camera that I have yet to put on facebook. Take pictures of nook and decorations, and make facebook album on my Ironman nook as well.
Then its off to Landmark for what is apparently the best of all sessions. Then I'm sleeping.

Hoping to do Hot Yoga in the morning...

And this will probably be my last post before Christmas, so for those of you who celebrate Christmas:

MERRY CHRISTMAS

And for those of you who don't...

Happy Holidays:)

Love, Tiger

IRONMAN Nook.

2008-12-18T07:48:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends,

I know you were expecting a post a day or two after I got my trainer. So was I! However, I set my trainer up on Saturday before I went to work, and went to set my bike up and I had a flat tire. The tire pump I had didn't have the right adapter so I was going to have to wait until I could get to zellers to get a pump, and Sunday was not a day that was going to work.

Monday following a 9-5 shift at work, I headed off to Zellers so that I could get a bike pump. I got one for 20$ and thought that it would be fine. But it wasn't. It had no pressure in it, AT ALL. So, after about an hour of frustrated trying, I gave up and decided I would have to return that pump, and go to Mountain Equiptment Co-op to get a new pump.

After a long Tuesday shift, I headed off to MEC. There was no way I wasn't going to try that darn trainer. Absolutely no way. So I went to MEC. Took the Subway and a street car, and walked in the dark (at 7pm) and got my pump. I walked, and crossed the street but I shouldn't have crossed the street cause it was darker, so I was sorta glad I had this big metal pump incase anyone crossed me.

I got home, just as Rick was coming in the door. Perfect. So I grabbed him and Charlie (my bike) and brought him to the living room. We got her pumped up (Well, I tried for 1/2hr first, then grabbed rick for help) and started loading him onto the trainer.

Now it was pretty intensely exciting. I only road him for about 10 minutes because it was almost 11pm--and I was exhausted. I left him in the kitchen over night but I was told on no uncertain terms that I wasn't allowed to leave him there. Where would he go, I pondered?

There's a nook in my room. Now it's not a big nook--not at all. But Charlie fits there. So does the trainer. And there's a TV, and a place to set my books if I'm studying or my laptop if there's nothing good on TV. It also fits my shoes, my gym bag, a rolled up Yoga Mat and my bike pumps.

I'm still going to add pictures, and a training program to the wall, inspirational stuff-you know?

So that's exciting.

Wanna hear the freaking scariest thing in the world?!

I am going to have to commit to Ironman Lake Placid 2010 by January 5th, 2009 by signing up to volunteer because it appears that all of the Ironmans are selling out to General Entry on site....

Gotta figure some stuff out--find some tri-geeks to ride down with, figure out where I am going to stay, etc, etc.

Training for the Peterborough Half Iron starts....NOW! Well, after lunch with the Best Friend.

We're talking 45 minutes on the trainer followed by a run (brick workout, anyone?) Swimming and running tomorrow after work.

I'll catch up soon, I promise

Love,
Tiger

Look What I got Me!

2008-12-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

A Blackburn Fluid Trainer

Regular Price: 399.99

Found at a Sports shop near my house: 199.99

What I learned from carrying it home on the Subway: I need to work on my Upper Body strength!

Question: Am I supposed to ride a helmet?

I'll let you know how the first ride goes:) First it needs to be assembled

Disconnected

2008-12-10T19:28:00.000-08:00

I took last week easy.
I ate healthy, walked a little, ran a couple times, and did pushups and situps everyday, but took it easy.
Note the eat healthy. We`re talking salad instead of burgers, pasta instead of going out.

I am actually pretty impressed with it.

This week we`re back in at full force:) Yay!

I ran 4 miles on Monday in a newish place that I am going to make a concious effort to go there once a week to run there. I`ll take pictures next time. I ran with my friend after the staff meeting. We stretched for about 10 minutes, and I went home.

Tuesday, I did push-ups (ha), sit-ups, planks, resistance using my body. 3 reps of 10 for each.

Wednesday (today) I was supposed to run with someone in High Park again. I left a text message and called a couple of times. Didn`t get ahold of her or hear from her, so I ended up going for a run closer to home and grabbing dinner (No,not healthy). Stretched when I got home.

Tomorrow is going to happen when it happens, and I`m not sure.

So, many of you know that my school is on strike. And has been for over a month. I`m feeling really disconnected from life. Sure, I am taking on stuff for work, taking this success seminar and working more than I have before,but I don`t fell connected to any of it. I haven`t talked to my best friend in like 2 weeks cause she has exams and I dont get to go in and see the same people everyday like I normally would.

No connection. And I`m not reallly a fan of being disconnected.Things are good in almost all areas but I cannot enjoy it.

I feel like I need more stuff to do. Stuff to keep myself busier.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh well.
Tiger

My Eventful Day

2008-12-02T14:53:00.001-08:00

Sometimes things don't go as planned. I was doing pretty good on the "being active" stuff.
Saturday I started getting "coughy". Pretty awesome stuff.
Sunday, I was just really wheezy. But I didn't think anything of it. Still, I ended up leaving work early (not on my own terms).
Monday same thing.

My mom says I get wheeezy and have trouble breathing during the winter. Something about recycled, forced air, and a lot of dust (which I'm allergic too).

So when I woke up this morning and was still really wheezy, I thought I should probably go to the docs. I couldn't get into my doctor so I went to the Urgent Care clinic across the street from my work. I went in at about noon--a brilliant plan if I do say so myself. I didn't have to work til 4. I figured they'd send me away saying it was just the season or a cold.

I was wrong. Got in, and they gave me 2 masks, a peak flow meter and an aerochamber, and sent me away shaking like a leaf. Thats a side effect of the ventolin masks they gave me. They said I'd be shaking for a few hours, and my heart is still beating 125 BPM and after that I would crash. I'm fading pretty fast...

I went to work to call people to see if someone would be able to come in to rescue me but apparently they were staffed enough and I hopped in a cab to go to bed. I've been sleeping on and off, and I'm pretty much ready to sleep forever.

But I thought I'd catch you up first:)

In other news, i did buy 2 new pairs of shoes. A pair of Asics DS Trainers, and a pair of Asics Gel Nimbus. Rockin'!

Sorry I haven't been around much. I have a date with you guys on Thursday:)

Tigrrr

UNBREAKABLE

2008-11-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

un·break·a·ble
(ŭn-brā'kə-bəl) adj.
1. Impossible to break; able to withstand rough usage: unbreakable plates.
2. Able to withstand an attempt to break. Used of a horse.
n. An article or object that is not easily broken
un·break'a·ble·ness n., un·break'a·bly adv.

That is who I am going to be.
Wait--no. That is who I am. I am unbreakable! (This will be a running post soon--I promise). Nothing that's happened so far in my life has broken me. Sure, I'm human and some things get me 'down' more than others, but guess how I am going to view them now? As "technical difficulties!". There's a song I just found by Alicia Keys, called 'unbreakable' and it's my new power song. I'm not a very big blues-y person, but I really like this one. For the first time in about 4 months, I (almost)left work not feeling good about my day at work. I know, everyone has those days once in a blue moon and it was apparently a blue moon for me. We chatted it out and all is well. And I'm still unbreakable. I did, however, realize that I can't call myself the girl that never cries anymore. Cause I cry now. And i'm still unbreakable!

Looking at it from an 'athletic standpoint', injuries are just technical difficulties. The breathing I've been struggling with for awhile is just a technical difficulty. The pneumonia that I got immediately following the marathon is just a technical difficulty. The fact that for the 3 weeks following the marathon I had no desire to move--another technical difficulty. You see where I'm going with this. I'm just unbreakable!

I'm pretty confident that I'm back into this now. Looking for a trainer still. One that fits the budget. I think I might've found a Cyclops MAG Trainer for 95$, which is a wicked deal, I think. And I've asked my parents for gift cards to get cycling shoes, and clipless pedals for my bike for Christmas. This sport is getting expensive. Yesterday I went for a run. It was about 6km, and I didn't wear a watch or time it. Cause that's how I'm going to roll for awhile. No focus on my watch, just focus on feeling.

I definately don't have running legs anymore. Seriously. It felt like I was climbing mountains. But that's okay, cause running legs will come back after about 3 weeks so I'm not too worried. I won't be worried until 3 Sunday's from now. If they're not back after some consistent running, there is going to be a problem. But we're not going to worry about that yet. I do need new Running Shoes as well. My old runners have a round of marathon training on them, so they need to be replaced. It'll have to wait until Friday though.

And guess what I did today?

I went swimming. I swam 1200m. In a long time. And it hurt. Well actually it felt pretty good. I'm sure it's going to hurt tomorrow though. I've also been reading 'going long' and am going to start doing some of the core strengthening exercises in it. I've also convinced Rick to do the 100 pushup challenge with me. So, months behind everyone else, I will be participating in it. Cause that's how I roll. Starting tomorrow though. Just for the record--I can't do one pushup.

I'm now in the process of making a trip plan for Lake placid this year so I can start to save. Anyone going to be going down to Lake Placid this year? Is there an Airport in Lake Placid? Should I really get my lisence so I can drive there? Any locals want to carpool? I'll be volunteering. Any volunteers got a position they can recommend for me?

I think 2010 will be easier to plan, cause I've got the parents coming too. They can take care of all the details. :)

I think that's all I wanted to say.

I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow. Or tonight if I can't sleep.

CALLING ALL CYCLISTS: Immediate help required!!!

2008-11-24T06:11:00.000-08:00

TRAINERS: FLUID OR MAGNETIC? DOES IT MATTER? I'm looking on Craigslist to see if I can't find one.

You get a real post when I come back from my run.

The Fragility of Life

2008-11-19T17:52:00.000-08:00

A Note From Tiger: I was fully intending on this being a blog post about my lack of running, about ironman training (or thinking about it), about inspiring people, about the stuff that Tiger usually talks about. Of course, life happens, and you get what I like to call another "Debbie Downer" post. But it might not really be that "Debbie Downer" like...perhaps it's just a little...Philisophical. :) There ya go, Marci!

Ever look at an older person struggling to walk across the street?
Ever wonder what their niche used to be? There passion? Perhaps they used to be runners, or cyclists or swimmers just as we are. Perhaps they had some other passion. Maybe they have children and families, or maybe they are happily alone.

Ever look at those with impairments? They may have a challenge that most of us don't have. Ever notice that these people are generally happier and appreciate the littler things in life? Waking up each day is honestly a gift.

It's amazing how quickly things can change. One second a person is healthy, and running around and loving life, the next thing they're down with the flu or a cold or something. Normally these things aren't important, and you get over them within a few day. My brother's 16 y/o friend wasn't so lucky. He went into the hospital on the Canadian Thanksgiving with pneumonia, and passed away yesterday. He had some challenges before the pneumonia, but he was apparently a great person. Appreciated life, had a great personality and my brother took to him. It sucks that he lost his friend, and it sucks that he has to have this 'life experience' so early in life.

Ironically, one of my friends sent this to me today on facebook, before I knew any of this happened.
Just read it, and take from it what you will. I think it says about all I need to say. I'll be around again tomorrow.

A Dog's Purpose.

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolf hound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The Six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.

'Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy..
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY

Go tell someone you love them.

Tigrrr

Some daysss....

2008-11-13T19:32:00.000-08:00

So, this post isn't going to include your happy, excited Tiger for the first little bit. It's my blog and I need to vent a little. And I love you for reading, but if you don't want to, you can certainly skip to the part where i act like me!

You've been warned.

So, I had a rough week. But I'm getting myself moving and going again. Ran once this week so far. Slept til 1:15pm on Tuesday--and went to bed at 11pm. So that's a lot of sleep. Wednesday I slept from 11-10am, went out for 5hrs, then went back to sleep. Today I had to work early, so I got up bright and early and had a reasonably good way.

My seminar on Monday didn't sit right with me. Like I said, I spent a lot of time sleeping and crying. Tuesday night was rough, I dunno. it's just been weird. But I"m being authentic with you. I promise you a philisophical running post soon.

Grumpy part over.

Tomorrow I'm going to my best friends event!:) It's gonna be rockin'! She's spent the last 3 months planning it and we're going to 'A Night at the Oscars!" Which means I get to dress up. I'm going to school with her in the morning, then we're going to get our hair done, and then we're off to the event! Amazing;) I might even wear high heels.

Today I talked to one of my managers and asked her if she wanted to run a half, and got her pumped up and got me pumped up, so now I'm going to seee how many people we can get! Seriously. I can be the coach:) I'll take a picture of one of my running plans. They're awesome. In a duotang, and they have a personalized letter and cut and paste picture!
I figure if I put my heart and soul into it, they'll give a little too!:)

Another cool thing is that someone at work said that they think I'm good at goals and wants me to goal coach them. For me, that's pretty exciting.

So yeah, I fail at being a blogger buddy. Miss me? I'll do my best to catch up over the next few days. Even if I just read 10 posts a day:)

Talk to you soon!!

Tiger

Quickie

2008-11-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys!

This has gotta be a quickie cause I gotta get on the bus in 15 minutes, cause I picked up some more shifts this week. After work tonight is my seminar on Excellence (which I'm incredibly excited about), so theres not going to be any blog reading or working out until tomorrow. I might even write you a better one tomorrow:)

Here's where I'm at with working out:

Run 3 days: 50 min, 35 min, 64 minutes. First one felt effortless, wasn't feeling the second one and the last one was hit and miss, but I was exhausted and had trouble breathing the rest of the day.
Swimming: Uhm...yeah. Not so much. Although that is my key limiter so I gotta get on that (That's from the book "Going Long") that I'm reading.

Now, I gotta 'run' but here's a quote from my new book (which I'm loving)

"Unless you test yourself, you stagnate. Unless you try to go way beyond what
you've been able to do before, you won't develop and grow. When you go for it
100%, when you don't have the fear of "what if I fail," that's when you learn.
That's when you're really living--Mark Allen (World Champion Triathlete)

Okay friends,

See you on the flip side!
Tigrrr

Time For A Change

2008-11-06T17:32:00.000-08:00

Things around this blog are changing. I would like to make my own template and one of those cool personalized headers, and since my school is on strike, I'm working on it. You can watch the butterfly for now though.

I could get all philisphical and tell you that the butterfly represents who I am, but reallyyy the butterfly is who I want to be. Free and confident and beautiful. We'll have one of those philisophical conversations later...

On the life front, I am now attending the Landmark Excellence Seminar. During the last seminar we were asked to create things that we are committed to creating for ourselves in the seminar. Then, they asked 16 people to step up and be group leaders for the seminar. This will help me with my leadership skills. How cool. That's only been holding me back for 5 and a half years.

Since I can't tell you guys in person, I will tell you on my blog.

I am committed to becoming the person that can walk into a room and light it up.
I am committed to being confident in everything I do. I'm sure this will help with the leadership stuff too.
I am committed to being persistant in everything. Push the envelope I guess. One of my downfalls is if something (running aside) I just kind of let it be.

On the running/tri-ing front, I have run twice. One wicked 8km run with Super Dano, and a 3k run/walk with G.

I have had some good breathing days and some bad breathing days. It's pretty much hit and miss, but this is another set-back, and its not gonna get me down! (Look at that new attitude already!:) I plan on getting my bum in the water tomorrow. I'll even take a picture. I got a swim cap and goggles too!

So, since I'm tired, I'll leave you with a quote:

"There is no limit to what you can imagine. And with commitment, with
effort, what you can imagine you can become. Put your mind to work for you.
Believe that you can do it. The world will tell you that you can't. Yet, in your
belief you'll find the strength, you'll find the ability, to do it anyway."
Ralph Marston

Let Me Tell You About My Day~

2008-11-02T17:02:00.001-08:00

It was fantastic.
It started out rough. I was exhausted, despite the one hour of extra sleep we get.
Still, I got up and went down to the Port Credit running room, to visit the people I had missed for so long. Turns out a lot of them weren't there. I didn't recognize many people, which was a little disappointed.

It only got worse from there--since I'm still not in any shape to run (YAY For uncontrolled asthma, and inhalers about 6 times a day!), I went for a walk with my mom. Now, it was a nice little walk we had, and we had Second Cup muffins for breakfast afterwards, but having to walk when many many people around me are running was really rough. I came home and napped for an hour or so before I had to go to work, and was feeling really sluggish, and low energy. However, as soon as I went into work (cause I have the best job in the world, remember?) I perked up a little bit.

As my day at work went on, despite my energy levels shrinking, I met some wickedly cool people. I would just like to tell you about one wicked person I met today. She asked for help finding a running jacket. My obvious next question is: How far do you run? I find out she's doing the Around the Bay, and the Muskoka Half Ironman all leading up to Lake Placid 2010!

How freaking cool. She then tells me that if you want to volunteer (so you can line up and sign up), you need to do so in January, because the spots apparently fill up very quickly. I feel like this is all just meant to be. She lives in my general area, so she gave me her card so we can keep in touch. This realllyyyy lifted my spirits. I thought it was the neatest thing in the world, and pretty much smiled the rest of the day. (which is good cause I haven't smiled in awhile--like that atleast).

So I had a pretty wicked day. And I'm excited about getting into this new lifestyle. I'm getting up and hoping to do some form of exercise (sit-ups and pushups maybe?), but the type of exercise is to be determined based on how well I can breathe in the morning.

My week at a glance:

Landmark Seminar Series Starts tomorrow and is on Monday nights for awhile (from 7-10). My seminars are on Excellence and I'm pretty much excited about it:)

Tuesday I work

Wednesday I have a walk/run date with my best running buddy super Danielle. I'm also hoping to go to hot yoga afterwards, but again, that determines on the situation of my health. :) (Sorry Wes, I can't hang out under my blanket by the fire anymore!:P)

Thursday I have an anatomy exam on the cat. Providing my school doesn't strike. Secretly (and not so secretly) i just want them to strike for a week. Thennn I can' catch up.

Friday: Another written anatomy exam. Woohoo.

Since anatomy is hard, I'll only be lurking (as best I can) until Thursday or Friday (Depending on the situation).

NOWWWWW there are some people out there that need congratulations.

WES finished his first Ironman on Saturday Evening.
Marci: Shaved 6 minutes of her last marathon time, and became a marathon maniac all in the same weekend. Note: She ran another marathon last weekend.
Marlene: Killed her Half Marathon PR on very little training since the full.
Ryan: KILLLEDDD Ironman Florida this weekend
and
Robin: Who finished more than two marathons at the same time (54 miles) in 11:25!

You all deserve lots of rest, and recovery and to eat whatever you want!:o) You are my inspiration and my heros!

And now I leave you my blogger family with a quote:

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.

Karen Ravn

Think about it:)

Tiger

NEXT BIG GOAL!

2008-10-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

Hey Friends!

So, I've decided, based on your feedback, that I might have a PRB. And I like this because it all fits into a tidy little package and explains the me not feeling like me, stuff. To that effect, I have decided to re-look at my goals. Well, I'm actually looking at them for work,but I was going to leave the fitness goals.

I was starting to feel better. Apparently, though, I jumped way back into life way too fast, and my body is exhausted. My breathing is fine during most of the day when I'm relaxing and not doing too much but by the end of the day, it gets tough. And by the end of the day I couldn't breathe, and I was at work, and for someone like me, that's mortifying. I hate that it's breaking me down.

But it no longer will. Because, I'm planning! :)

I've made a timeline. What for, you may ask????

IRONMAN LAKE PLACID!

Yes. See look. I wrote it down. On the internet. Which means that all of you lovely people are going to keep me accountable...for what may be the longest training EVER! See, I'm not doing this years Ironman Lake Placid (See, I said it again). This year is going to be focused on learning to swim, and building a base on my bike (inside). I'll run halfs for awhile, do a half Ironman (just throwing that word around, I think). Then, hopefully, I will run the Scotia full again. Of course, I'm still doing ATB, but I think I'm going to cut back on the running races and focus on this Ironman (at the advice of Cliff).

THE TIMELINE

Monday November 3rd 2008 until April:

Get this breathing stuff under control
Buy a bike trainer
Learn how to swim
Get aerobars and clipless pedals and shoes
Start to figure out the Nutrition Thing
Eat 70/30 -70 percent good, and 30 percent not so good
Build running, swimming and cycling base.
Run Around the Bay Road Race

April to July

Peak for training
2 half marathons in May--One for training, one to race.
Olympic Tri that I haven't found yet, just for training, and getting used to transitions and stuff. Maybe even the Muskoka Long Course.
The Half Ironman is in July (just after/before I turn 21)
Go to Lake Placid and Volunteer. Then sign up for IM Lake Placid the next day.
Have the nutrition NAILED!
Be very very particular about what goes in my mouth

July to January

Run Scotia
Continue to build large base. Cliff said to take it easy.
Have a base of 90miles biking, 24miles running and 3 miles swimming (I know it's only 2.4 miles in the water BUT it's open water so I'm sure it's going to be harder)
Do one or 2 hard workouts in each category each week, keep the rest of it easy.
Strength training 3x/week

January to July 1st

Ramp it up. Hard workouts in all three areas.
Run shorter races (HM, short tri's) as speed work and preperation.
Lots of long stuff--rides and runs
Very healthy eating

July 1st to IM Time

Make lists
eat healthy
don't get sick
shorter rides and stuff

So, I'll figure out an actual training plan soon. I still have to learn how to breathe again, but I have something to look forward to and something to get excited about. So those are my big goals. And I'm throwing them out there, cause I know you guys care:)

Good luck to WES and RYAN just incase I don't get to post before they do their IRONMAN on Saturday.

They might just be my inspiration:)

I also think you all need to go read www.fatcyclist.com even if you haven't been following his story.

The Great Debate--PRB?

2008-10-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to another bipolar blog post, with the one and only Tiger Monster.

So, yesterday, "Gotta Run" posted a comment on my post that said something about Post Race Blues. So I googled it, just cause I was curious, and immediately thought that this all made sense. Your body is tired, and it's more prone to getting sick (Read: Pneumonia).

While preparing for a race, you may spend weeks or months honing in on that
single goal and organizing your life to adhere to a strict training regimen.
That laser focus and prescribed schedule keep you going when you're
challenging
your body to do more. The loss of this direction naturally leads
to feelings of
aimlessness and despondency. The emotional roller coaster
you've been on also
takes a toll. "As you get back into your pre-training
routine, the excitement is
gone and recovery sets in," says Lesyk "That's
when it hits the hardest." It's
not just in your head. There are
physiological reasons for the post-race slump.
You ask so much of your body
for so long during training and the race. Once
you've met your goal and need
less from it, the body responds by shutting down
to recuperate, says Jim
Taylor, Ph.D., and Terri Schneider in their book The
Triathlete's Guide to
Mental Training (Velopress, 2006). "This physical downturn
also expresses
itself mentally in thoughts and emotions"

See, it all makes sense. It explains me not being myself, which bothers me. Its an explanation all in a tidy little package, and we know how Tiger likes her nice tidy packages.

So I mentioned it in passing to a few people and they all think that I'm just reading too much into it. Maybe I'm just searching for the tidy little package, and its just nothing and I'm tired of being sick and not myself. Maybe I'm just making it mean something when I know it doesn't mean anything. All are possibilities.

So I dunno. But I am going to go for a walk today (barring getting to work early enough). I would run but the lungs are still not up to running.

And nobody is going to know about this, except for my favorite virtual friends.

I'm pretty sure this makes no sense, so for that I'm sorry.
Be back sooooonnnnn.(hopefully with a post that makes sense)

How I'm Doing...

2008-10-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely exhausted. Beat. Tired.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck.
I thought--since I'm a 20 y/o marathoner, that I could jump right back into life after being treated for pnuemonia for about 5 days.

YEAH RIGHT! I worked yesterday, and it was quite a shock to my tired system to be on my feet for 10hrs instead of in my bed. I went home naseous, with blue fingernails and barely able to breathe (despite taking my puffer 6x). Promptly fell asleep.

Today: Pretty much the same thing. Had intense problems breathing. Did meet two Ironman people and got pretty excited. Speaking of Ironman, Wes will be completing one in about 6 days. Anyways, By 3:30 I was ready to pass out and die, however, I managed to make it through the rest of the day, without too many people catching on.

NOW: I'm thinking about running. Because I haven't run in a month. I'm making two people a Running Plan (and pretty folder), and making a board for work.

NOT SO COOL STUFF: For a girl who never cries, I've been crying a lot. I'm sure it must be the lack of running. Positive. But it doesn't mean its not frustrating.
My schools Teacher's Assisstants, and janitors and stuff might go on strike. We find out next Sunday. If they do, that means there is no class. Last time they went on strike for 72 days. The strike is apparently scheduled for 11 weeks. That would be frustrating.

COOL NOTES: Met a woman today who ran a half a year ago, and we got to talking and I told her about the marathon and stuff, and she got really excited. After she finished trying on clothes, I asked her when her next race was, and she said she didn't know but that I had inspired her and she was going home to look online and she would come back to see me and let me know how it went.

I think that's super cool. Being able to inspire a complete stranger! :)

The Doctor gave me a turbuhaler. I wonder if it'll make me run faster (as soon as I get used to the woozy side effects that I feel)

CONGRATULATIONS to Trev and Maggie (My store's (old) assistant manager and the Regional Manager) ran their first marathon in Venice, Italy! I online stalked them several times throughout the night (and they had super wicked splits! I'm super excited for them and can't wait to hear about their race--I can only stalk the pictures and the online videos.

ALSO--Congrats to Marci who rocked the Niagara Marathon course, and got a PR. I haven't heard the story, but I'm sure she'll have a race report up soon.

AND--I'm meeting up with my first friend from highschool. I was a new student to school in the middle of grade 9, and I haven't seen this girl in FOREVER! So I'm meeting up with her on Thursday after class. I'm pretty much excited!

I hope you're all doing fantastic. I have 3 midterms this week. Fan-freaking-amazing. I'll be around as much as I can. Miss me <3

GOODLUCK

2008-10-25T18:44:00.000-07:00

Goodluck to Trevor and Maggie who will be running their first marathon tomorrow.
Send them positive vibes and good thoughts in the comments (they don't have a blog) and think about them at 3:15am tomorrow!

Also, good luck to Marci who'll be rockin' the Niagara falls marathon tomorrow.

Anyone else who's racing, GREAT LUCK.

Boo.

2008-10-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

Spectating sucked. But it's what had to be done.

But I'd like to think I'm a good coach cause all of my people who ran finished, most acheived their time goals and a few even obtained PRs.

I went to work after spectating and felt like bum and couldn't stop coughing. Some random man (Who I am assuming was a doctor) asked me what my name is and then he said "You need to leave work and go to the hospital right now, you have pneumonia and you could die"

I, of course, didn't listen to him, however I did end up going to the Walk In Clinic yesterday. When I blew into the peak flow thing, it was yellow (It's like a stop light--green is good, yellow is not so great and red is bad). Then I saw the doctor who heard "crackling" and told me I have pneumonia. Small world, huh?

Sent home with a heavy duty prescription, 2 puffers and orders to rest. I always find with antibiotics that i feel worse before I feel better. And I totally can't breathe. And its frustrating. And now I get to go and write an exam doped up.

Woohoo. We'll see how that goes.

I'll be back when I have something to write about--until then I'll be lurking and commenting on your blogs. Congrats to those who ran a race this weekend. I expect timely race reports from you all. :)

Sometimes the Right Decisions...

2008-10-18T21:21:00.001-07:00

Are the hardest ones to make.

I'm not going to be running the Half Marathon today. It's 12:42 am, and it's the second time I've woken up because I haven't been able to breathe.

This is going to make for one Grumpy Tiger though. I dropped $85 bucks on this things. And I would have run it. Realllyyy. But then those silly people who love me acted as the voice of reason. And there were tears (and I don't cry, remember) and frustrations (I think I was pretty not nice) and the decision I had made before leaving work tonight was that I would run, and listen to my body. If I didn't finish, it would be fine. But if I'm laying down in bed and am waking up because I can't breathe, I'm not sure running is a good idea.

I will be going to the race course tomorrow to support my friends and people in my running clinic that are running. Thats right. I'm going to NOT run but I am still getting up at 5am to go and support my friends reach their goals.

So here I am; not able to breathe, $85 poorer, and pretttttttyyy grumpy.

The right decision sucks. And so does the voice of reason.

Grrrrrr
:(

All expos should have race socks.

2008-10-17T16:21:00.000-07:00

I *heart* running expos.

I just got back from the Toronto Marathon Expo. I totally planned on going in and getting something from the jewellery store, some Dirty Girl undies and a Marathon Girl shirt.

However, this expo was wayyyyyy smaller than the Scotiabank Marathon Expo.

Instead, I wandered around aimlessly, and picked up some e-load tablets. I thought I was going to get out of there without spending money, until I found a booth with Katherine Switzer and Roger Robinson were sitting at a table, with a bunch of the books 26.2 Marathon Stories.

They were signing books, and since I couldn't find the other things I had come for, I decided that I wanted a book too. And they signed it. On the inside of the book, they wrote:

For Tiger,
In celebration of your first marathon, Scotiabank 2008, and many more to come. Welcome to the greatest sport!

And before I left, I gave Katherine Switzer a hug. For those of you who don't know who she is, CLICK THE LINK! She was in Spirit of the marathon and the first woman to officially run in the event. She finished in 4:20, and she was 20 years old, so I've decided that there is still hope for me. Katherine Switzer has her own book and as soon as I finish the 4 I have going, I'll start that one.

It was a really neat expo experience, but I have decided that every single race needs race socks. This one didn't have them and I was a little disappointed, considering there was a plethora of other 'official race merchandise'.

In other race news, I went for a run yesterday.

My legs are feeling incredibly fresh. I could be running 4 minute kilometers. Seriously. My lungs, however are disagreeing with the whole concept of running, and I had to stop and hack up a lung several times throughout the 3ish kilometer run. So we'll see how it goes.

I'm pretty excited about winging it. Seriously.

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE WHO'S RACING THIS WEEKEND!! I CAN'T WAIT TO READ YOUR RACE REPORTS;)

I *h e a r t* race reports!:)

Talk to you Monday sunshines:)

Tigrrr

Tagged! And other things.

2008-10-16T06:23:00.000-07:00

So, Marlene tagged me. I decided I would be a good blogger (Because I've been a terrible blogger lately) and do the tagging thing. I fear, however, that I am not that interesting, nor am I that weird. You be the judge.

I had an imaginary friend named Melanie until I was about 13. Even though I had a ridiculous number of brothers and sisters. To this day, I don't know where Melanie went. She ran away...

When I'm watching movies or television (in the off event that I have spare time) I get really really into the characters lives. I'll scream at the characters if they're doing something stupid even though I know that it's just a movie and that they're just characters and none of this means anything.

I cannot watch scary movies for the life of me. When the grudge came out, I went to see it with my friend, and the popcorn I bought ended up on the head of the person infront of me. When the Saw movie came out, I made it about 15 minutes of the way through it and made my dad turn it off. (Side Story: Apparently there is this website that is promoting SAW 5, and you type your friends name and phone number/email in and it'll call them and say "Hello, (name) do you want to play a game? I am here with your friend (name). You think it's over but its not. (Or something like that)". So I get this phone call last night from this unknown number. I got to the end of "Do you want to play a game" and threw the phone across the room, and spent all night searching for this website so I could sleep without worrying about waking up somewhere strange and having to cut my leg off. END STORY)

I eat cheese with Barbeque Sauce (usually a spicy one). Word.

I don't really like chocolate all that much. I mean, I think it's good every now and then, but I can't eat a lot of it. It makes me sick. And I'll only eat sweetened white chocolate or milk chocolate. (My siblings like me during halloween).

I don't know if I'm ever going to have babies. I know that most people from a big family, want to have a big family of their own, and its their dream from the time they're like 13. I know that this could change, but I don't think I'm ever going to have more than 2 babies.

Ok, that's my weirdness. Nowwww for the hodge-podge.

I'm running a half on Sunday. The Toronto Half Marathon. Apparently there are showers at the end. After the half, I hop on the Subway and head to work.

I have a chest cold, and can't breathe. It's causing my asthma to really act up (which it never does). And I'm still running the half cause I dropped 85$ on it.

I'm not going to plan. I mean, I'll pack my bags and stuff, but really, maybe I run better if I don't plan.

I'm going to be completely winging it. I have run once since the marathon (soon to be twice, if I make it through this evenings run)

Next week I have 2 exams, the week after I have 3. Woohoo.

I was all by myself this weekend: I worked everyday, babysat, saw a movie with my best friend, almost died (exagguration there, but i had an asthma attack), watched P.S. I love you, did my laundry, studied and had Boston Pizza for Thanksgiving Dinner.

I've been feeling kind of "off" this week. Nervous for no reason. It's weird, and I don't like it and I want it to stop.

I will catch up with you as soon as I can. This is getting out of control.

(((hugs)))

Tigrrr

Since I don't have time for a real post

2008-10-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'll occupy you with pictures.

Here's whats going on in my life:

Exams.
Work and life
Running only once since the race
Signing up for a Half Marathon on Sunday. Then having to work the whole day after.
Internet down at home.
Ready for Christmas.
Mr. Science teacher has been running.

Me and Gilda before the race. She was running her first 5km.

Can you tell I'm getting nervous?

Just incase I forgot along the race. Someone actually came up and tapped my arm and gave me thumbs up.

Best friend after her race. She killed it:) I was so proud of her.

Notice the half of a gel spilled on my chest. The only reason I'm smiling is because the man was pretty much sitting in the middle of the road pointing to where he wanted you and telling you to smile. I could've kicked him. But it was a good picture.

This is absolutely my favorite picture. I look happy, the sun is in my hair, kind of like I'm in slow motion.

Totally ready for it to be over here. I was hot, and tired, and ready to burst into tears. Thank goodness for all the spectators.

I'm on the end. Theres my brother and my sister in poor running form. I got kinda mad at them. I wanted them to shut up, and not talk to me. I apologized after the race was over.

Crossing the finish line...Thank GOODNESS it's over!

Okay, don't fall over. Pretend to smile. Don't cry. Thumbs up--two finger salute. Don't fall over. That's what was going through my head while I was standing there for this picture.

My running girls. Super Dano is on the right, Gilda is on the left, and I'm in the middle, ready to pass out and die.

See, proof I did stretch. I almost shot my mother for her taking my picture while I was doing this. Miss Danielle forced me to stretch. Thanks:)

My family. I didn't want to take this picture. I was totally ready to sit down, get carried to the car, crawl into bed and not wake up for several hours.

GROSS FOOT PICTURE COMING UP!!!!!! MY SISTER THREW MY FLIP FLOP ON MY FOOT. I ALMOST CRIED. ALMOST COMPLETELY HEALED NOW!

Okay! So, theres the race pictures. I hope to catch up with you all soon!:) I'm trying to get something exciting together, so I will let you know.

Tigrrr

8 New Things

2008-10-07T05:02:00.000-07:00

In 8 wonderful days...

Running A Marathon (check back 2 more posts for race report)
Walking like I was 96 for more than one day (which means I aged about 14yrs per mile)
Bath Bombs at Lush
Hot Yoga where I felt right at home with other runners (and I met an ironman or two)
A New Hairstyle
A new Ipod
A new perspective on life
A New Race list for next season

See, I told you I'd turn it into a Running Post. I have a pretty intense race season planned for next year, and I am pretty much excited about it all.

December:

Jingle Bell Run: With some girls from work! It's going to be a blasttt:) You get to wear a Santa Suit. It's at 10k run.
Resolution Run: December 31st. Just because you get a wicked running jacket with zip off sleeves so it turns into a vest.

January and February are for training:)

March:

Chilly Half Marathon: It's apparently a really good race (or atleast I'm assuming that becuase it sells out so ridiculously fast)
Around the Bay: I did this one last year. This time it's going to be an A race and it's going to be a wicked awesome time.

April:

Harry's 8k Spring Run Off for Prostate Cancer: Why not, right?

May:

Sportinglife 10k: Everybody (or a lot of people) I know have done it...So I want to do it too. Not a good reason, Iknow. But whatever.
Mississauga Half Marathon: With Mr. Science teacher whos been keeping up with his running and is even considering buying a Garmin. He must be getting serious. ;)
Ottawa Marathon: Another A race. It'll be a Rockin' good time. And I'll convince some fellow Canadian bloggers to run this race with me and we can have another blogger meet up;)
Women's Only Half Marathon: I'm not sure If I'll run this one, but I'm thinking I will volunteer. Considering it will be the week after Ottawa.

June:

Olympic Distance Triathlon: Haven't found one yet. But it'll be fun. Another A race

July:

Peterborough Half Iron Distance: Totally an A race. I'm not sure how reasonable it is. My dad doesn't think it's reasonable....I guess I have to do it now:P

September:

Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon: I must take revenge on the course and run a sub 4hr marathon. Infact, Training for this feat starts now!:)

October:

Run for the Cure: I haven't done a 5k in almost 2 years...I better get on that..
Zoo Run: Because, why not?
Toronto Half Marathon: Again, why not? Just for fun!

So I have about 15 races planned for next year!! That's a lot. I guess if I just sign up for one race per paycheque it's not going to be that bad.My internet only works on my parents computer right now cause someone messed around with it so I'm going to try and catch up with you guys after class.

Be a great day. Enjoy the Sunshine (Or whatever weather you're having.)

Good Morning World!

2008-10-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

I was MIA for the past couple of days, for a few reasons.
One, I was incredibly busy, and not able to get to the computer, and two because I was attending the Landmark Forum.

This post will be dedicated specifically for the forum, because it deserves it's own post. For those of you who are bored with my life breakthroughs, there is a running post coming in the next couple of days.

First a breif intro to the landmark forum. Basically you learn how to live your life powerfully and live a life you love. They work on the theory that we are stuck somewhere in life, you get rid of your past and create possibilities for a new future. Or something like that.

Day 1

You go in on the first day, and you make a committment to show up on time, stay awake and participate 100% authentically. The first day you're bombarded with information, and are forced to meet people during your break. Deal. You do assignments with people and come back and share them. There's a guy at the front of the room, and they seem pretty mean, and never back down, but they help you get breakthroughs. Seriously.

I went home the first night completely overwhelmed with the amount of information that I, being human, needed to process. It was pretty stressful to be honest. After a quick phonecall with the person who told me about the forum, she suggested I do my forum homework, have a shower and go to bed. Got it.

Day 2

9am the next morning you retreat back to the room. Nobody tells you how intense this day is going to be. You write a letter to someone in your life, you enroll someone in the possibility you've created for your life and you basically find out where your stuck. All within like 11hours. My experience was that I was stuck as a 12 year old, based on all the crap that went down then. What I made my life mean was that everyone important will leave me, so I need to grow up and be independent. But grow up I did not.

I ended up getting up and sharing the letter with the group about the person in my life (who I'm not going to name) and sat down and cried for two hours. After the second break, we did an exercise on fear. You basically feel the fear that you pretend you don't have. And it sucks. I ended up a sobbing ball of nothingness. And then the resistance takes over and I can't feel anything. I don't remember too much of the rest of the night, not sure why.

I ended up lying in bed for a few hours, and calling the person that I heard about it from (at some ungodly hour like 1:30 and she answered the phone. Bless her heart.) I don't remember much of the phone conversation either. I just remembered her saying that I was strong (mentioned the marathon thing) and that this wasn't supposed to be easy and it may not be easy for the rest of the days but she was glad I was doing it at such a young age.

Day 3

More tough stuff. Joy. Didn't eat on the first break, had a quick bite on the second. After the second they tell us this profound insightful stuff, that allows us to live an empowered, happy, authentic life full of integrity. It was pretty amazing. That night the graduates came and sit with you for the rest of the forum, and by the time I saw her I was pretty much floating on top of the world. I felt 15lbs lighter. Completely amazing.

I was pretty resistant before I went. If you google it, you will find some negative things about the forum, but none of it is true. Honestly.
The world looks a little clearer this morning. The sun is shining a little brighter. Life is even more exciting than its ever been.

And I get to redo my goals.

There are forums all over the world. The prices are different but it is worth every penny. Go to a Tuesday night session and make the decision for yourself. I'm definately not saying that you should do it if you don't want to, this is just what happened for me:) I'm pretty happy with the results!

I am standing for a life of love, a life of possibility and a life of living my word.

What do you stand for?

Gratitude

2008-10-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

Apparently the look on my face broke my best friends hearts.

This post deserves to be seperate from the other one that I will write today.

Whoever said that being a long distance runner was a lonely sport, didn't have any friends. Or a support system. And probably didn't like him or herself very much.

A few hours after my marathon (roughly 5--the indent in my couch was starting to form and I had already had my nap) I sat down on my computer and was going to start analyzing. But then, I decided not too. After all, I had just finished a marathon. I remember many times over the course of the run that I remembered the people in my life. Everyone that had told me that I could do it, everyone that said I didn't need to be nervous, everyone that reminded me that bad runs happen to everyone. The people who pushed me to sign up, the people that listened to me ramble on about the running. I remembered them when things got tough.

A few things I realized over the course of this marathon:

I have the best job in the world! Again, this is a matter of perspective. You might think that you have the best job in the world and as long as you think it, then it is true.

I think if I had any other job, training would have been much much more difficult. Or well, working would have been more difficult. There were days I ran 28-34km before going to work. When I got there, I went to Shopper's so I could clean up, then had lunch, then worked.

I'm pretty sure, over the last four months, I've spent about 2 months talking about this race. These people are the ones who convinced me to sign up roughly a month before I wanted too. These people listened to me talk about this race. These fantastic people put up with my ridiculously high energy level in the 2 weeks before the race, where I was jumping around on pins and needles. These people were behind me 100%.

At some tough points during the race, I could feel their positive vibes. After the race, when I went to work on Tuesday, hobbling around, they wanted to hear about it.

I'm pretty sure that if it weren't for the goals that I worked through with these people, that I would have been incredibly upset about the fact that I didn't meet my time goal. But goals are only made to be met 50% of the time.

Their endless encouragement helped to keep me on the road to marathon, and I appreciate it more than I can put into words.

I'm pretty confident that nobody at work reads this, but I just thought that you guys should know that I have the best job in the world!!!!!

And not only do I work with the best people, I get to talk to the best people that come into the store. You should hear some of the wicked conversations I've had. I've met more than one ironman, I've met runners who've survived cancer, I've met so many wicked people, who gave me advice about my first marathon, what to expect, etc.

You, my Running Blogger Family

I don't know what else to say but YOU GUYS ROCK! Seriously. You've put up with my running rants, my non-running rants, listened to me make decisions and then change my mind, helped me make decisions on nutrition, hydration, given me advice about what to wear, what to eat, what I should do before the race, what I shouldn't do. Encouraged me, read about my pre-race nerves, and taper.

And I know that I can have an off day, I can come here and you guys will still read.

I might also add that your blogs help lift my spirits, keep me motivated and teach me new things everyday. You are all incredibly entertaining, and I can't help but smile knowing that several times a week, I get to read all about your triumphs and tribulations.

So thank you, my blog family. I was so glad to be able to meet some of you, and perhaps, when i graduate I'll travel further for races and meet more of you.

The medal around my neck is for everyone who helped me on this journey. I couldn't have done it without you.

Love and hugs!<3

Tigrrr

Are You Sure This Course Is Measured Right?

2008-09-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

OR: You mean I actually have to run 42.2km

OR: The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my whole entire life.

Warning: This is a LONG post. Seriously. Grab a cup of coffee and join me on the experience of my first ever marathon. I enjoyed writing it, so you should enjoy reading it!:) It’s in sections if you don’t want to read it all though.

Yesterday I ran a marathon. Today, everything I try and do is like running a marathon. Standing up from the couch (which now has an indent of my beaten up body). The four stairs in my house I’m sure have increased in distance apart and the small hill through the park. When asked to breathe, my lungs scream “NO!” and my back tenses up. My shoulders remain tense and for some reason my elbows hurt. My good ol’ runners have been retired for flimsy flip flops allowing the two large blisters on my toes to breathe. My quads scream at every bit of pressure. My Achilles feels as though it is about to snap in half. I’m hurting in places I never knew could hurt. The school I attend is not built for a marathon runner. Or another theory that I have devised is that marathon runners are not meant to function the day after a marathon. But this is the best feeling pain that I’ve ever felt.

Let’s go back to the beginning, shall we?

About a year and a half ago my step dad said I would never run a marathon. And yesterday I proved him wrong by running the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon. I won’t go into any more detail about that, because I’m sure I’ve said it several times on this blog. It’s around here somewhere. I’ll make a link sometime. But you’re lucky you’re getting this report so soon. It’s taking all of my energy to stay awake. (and it’s only 4:30pm)

Two Weeks Before
This marked the beginning of Taper madness when I only ran 12km and biked 20km. What was I to do with all this extra energy? Why, dance around work in circles and sing of course! This freaked people out, I think. But who was I to help it. This also began my “I’m not getting sick” streak, where I fed everyone around me Vitamin C tablets, drank Orange juice with 400% of my daily recommended intake of vitamin C and used hand sanitizer on an OCD basis. Started planning outfits and lists in my head.

The Week Before

This marked the making of lists. Eight beautifully coloured lists on different coloured paper with boxes beside them for checkmarks. I also set out and labelled all of my outfits at the end of my bed so I didn’t have to do much thinking. This also marks the week that I got sick because of the lack of exercise (not because of a lack of vitamin C). So I spent Wednesday curled up in bed and Thursday taking it easy. The lists that I had created were obviously too intense for myself at the time, and needed to be significantly cut down. So that I did.

The night before:

After having a fantastic day at work (in which I could barely remember my own name or where I was, let alone how to speak), I set out to meet Laurel, Marci and Marlene! It was really fun to finally meet the people who help to keep you motivated and going on a daily basis. They’re all a hoot. I will eventually post pictures from the meet-up as soon as I get my dinky little disposable camera developed! (Patience my dear friends, patience). I went home that night and went through the checklists one more time. I had everything set. I felt like I was going to puke. I watched Run Fatboy Run and was in bed by 10:30pm. I slept rather fitfully and almost hit the snooze button when my alarm rang at 5am. I digressed, and promptly got out of bed and put my race outfit on. I made oatmeal but ended up burning it in the microwave (Who knew that was possible) so I opted for a bagel at Tim Horton’s on the way. My best friend was also running her first 5k race that day, so she arrived at my house about 5:30 am. By the time I checked over my “Don’t leave the house until...” list it was 5:45am and we were off!

The Race Start

We were at the race start line by about 6:15am, and made our way to the Porta-potties. The lines weren’t too long, as everyone was making their way to the real bathrooms that were inside the city hall. I figured I didn’t have that much patience to wait in that line up. I had set the meeting place for my clinic and a few others I was meeting at 7am, near the bag check. I met with Carla, someone from work who was also running the half that day (and who rocked it with a side stitch the whole way), and one person from my clinic. At 7:15 am, I made my way to the purple corral. I was alone in a sea of people. It was kind of an overwhelming feeling. Before I knew it the gun went off. I had set my Garmin for a 4hr marathon. We started to slowly walk towards the starting line. What fun. What I didn’t know was that I was about to embark on the most difficult journey I had ever attempted...

Kilometers 1-5

I had decided I was going to dedicate a portion of my race to a bunch of special people in my life. Kilometers 1-5 were dedicated to my very best friend, Gilda, who was running her first 5k. I was upset that my race started 45 minutes earlier than hers and that I wasn’t able to see her start or finish, but I knew that she was tough and would finish. I had my 13 y/o sister there with us and she was able to see her finish and make sure everything was good. I think she got a picture too...I think.

I did the first 3km at the pace that my Garmin said I would have to do them in. I knew then that a sub 4hr marathon wasn’t in the cards. Ok. Fine. It’s my first marathon and I’m going to do it so that there is absolutely nothing left in me at the end. To that effect, I’m not posting splits on here.

5-9km

I decided that I would run this part of the race for my Store manager, Ashima. She’s awesome and wanted to do her first 5k but ended up having to work. She’s totally inspiring, has incredible courage and makes you think. She’s helped me with my goals so much, and helped me realize that worrying is just a waste of energy, because it’s not helping anybody. She’ll do a 5k soonJ.
I was still having fun here. I started implementing 10 and 1’s when I realized I still had seven more 5k runs to do. I took a gel at 6k and was feeling good. The course is an out and back course.

So you run out and then back, and then out in a different direction and then back again. When you’re crossing the 7km marker, on the other side of the street is the 17km marker. Low and behold, there were the Kenyans. A group of about 6 of them, followed by a group of three. They looked absolutely amazing, and like they were barely breaking a sweat. It seriously looked comfortable. Right. I heard somebody remark that “Anybody can do a 2hr marathon, but not many people have the endurance to do a 5hr marathon.” I would learn to hold onto that statement later in the course.

Km 10-14

I did these for my family. They woke up at an ungodly hour, and put up with a very grumpy Tiger for quite a few days before the race. They have listened to me talk about my aches and pains, and how good or bad of a run I have had.

These were pretty uneventful. I took another gel at 12km and there was the turnaround. I saw a few people from the Port Credit Running Room there cheering us on. I don’t know if I smiled but I tried too. I had people calling “GO Tiger!” which was written on my arm, and I had someone poke me, point to my arm and give me the ‘thumbs up’ sign. How coolJ I was still feeling pretty good.

Km 15-19

For my bestest running buddy, Super Danielle!:) She seriously rocks. Everything from her positive attitude and mantras, to having real authentic conversations on our long runs. She is one wicked awesome person who helps to put the things that are bugging you, or silly little things into perspective!

At 19km, you separate from the half marathoners and go on to conquer the marathon. I took a picture (on my pathetic little disposable camera that I haven’t used up yet) of the place where the marathoners and half marathoners split. We were off to the queens quay and they were on their way home. I’m starting to feel a little bit tired, even though I had my system going of 2 glasses of water and one Gatorade at each aid station. The weather was just about perfection too. I was still holding on though.

Km 20-24

For all the fabulous people I work with. These people have listened to me blather on about this race for a few months now. They’ve listened to me. They all have contagious positive attitudes which I definitely pulled on during this part of the race. This positive attitude thing was becoming a bit of a challenge at this point. It was boring and got pretty lonely along this course.
I think I fell into my zone at this point and went along at a pretty good clip that I don’t remember. I later found out that it must’ve been too fast, because I was fading fast, even though I had my gels and nutrition into me.

Km 25-28

I ran this part of the race for YOU GUYS! For my RBF. You guys are the ones who listen to me when everyone else wants me to shut up. You guys are the ones that are reading this long ass report, that I’m sure not many others are going to want to read. You guys are the ones who reminded me that everyone has bad runs and helped me figure out what was wrong when I wasn’t feeling it. And you listen to my non-running rambles that I sometimes won’t tell anyone else. You guys ROCK!

These were in the Leslie spit. This was tough. It was sunny and hot and there was no shade. I ran for 5 minutes, and walked. I felt like I walked for an eternity. Then I started to run again. Then I walked. There was no set interval, it was what I could do. Geeze, it’s not supposed to get this hard this early, is it?

Km 28-32:

I ran these km for my Running Aunties. Auntie Helen and Tante Kathleen joined the marathon club last January, and welcomed me yesterday. They are really awesome people. I guess it’s our version of ‘the Woo Hoo’s’ lol. They’re like second mothers and remind me that life isn’t as difficult as we make it seem, listen to me talk about boys and help me with my marathon training.
My power song came on here. Or one of them at least. It was “Heart of a Champion” by Nelly. It seriously gave me a boost. I repeated this song like 4 times. This was getting hard. And it was hurting. But I was still moving forward. There were times I thought that I wasn’t going to finish. I still had the run walk thing going on, but it was a little less than it was during the last 4km. There was a man taking pictures. In the middle of the road so we knew he was there, giving us a chance to smile and pretend we felt good. It was pretty funny watching everyone run through the camera and then walk as soon as he was done!

Km 33-37

For my friend Linzee who is super fun, and upbeat. She just moved to Australia and hates Sharks. So I ran for her so she wouldn’t get eaten by sharks. Km 33 is uphill. And it hurts. So I walked up the hill. And started crying. Sobbing almost. I didn’t know if I was going to finish. I still had 9km to go, and could barely take another step. A random spectator pushed me through it and insisted that I was going to finish. By 35km I knew I was going to finish, but I was still walking a lot. Why is this so hard?!?!? These km were faster than the ones before.

38-40km

For Rick. Because he said I wouldn’t! Simple as that. I saw Teresa and Wendy here, who reminded me of the fact that I had just over 4km to go and I would be a marathoner. Again, exhausted tears here. It helped me to pick up my pace though. I rounded the corner and saw Stuart on his bike. I smiled at him, and continued to run forward. I look to my left 30 seconds later and there he is, riding beside me. I guess I must have given this overwhelmed exhausted look because he told me I didn’t have to talk. I made a very sad attempt at small talk and we continued together. He had the brilliant Idea that I run in the shade as opposed to the sun. I seriously never would’ve thought about it.

We reached the last water station, and I took water and Gatorade, and dumped a water over my head, because it was getting really hot. Stuart also dumped water on my head and went back to get 3 more glasses of water for me, and rode with me for another 100 meters. He then headed on his way. I don’t know if I properly said thank you to him, but I really appreciated what he did. .

40-42.2km

Knowing I was on my way to the finish line only helped a little bit. I wanted to stop. And die. I passed the medical and decided that I wouldn’t go in there. I would finish. You run up a lonely street in the last kilometre before the race ends. At 41km theres everybody. Many people had already finished and were cheering the runners coming through on. There was so much noise, and it took so much to pull myself together, but I did it. I knew it was going to be over soon. They had signs from 500m to go, so I just kept running. My siblings joined me for awhile and I saw Danielle and Gilda and my mom and other siblings. I gave them a pathetic half assed smile and continued my journey to the finish line. I “Sprinted” across the finish line.

The finish

Insisting I don’t need medical attention, I held onto a volunteer (for dear life)who walked me to the medal area and continued on my way. Before she left she said “Congratulations, Marathoner”. Cue tears. I didn’t know how to react when I crossed the finish line. I was so overwhelmed and glad that it was over. When the woman said “Congratulations, Marathoner” I was so happy. I did something that only 3% of the population would ever do.

Mind you I did it in a lot longer than I wanted to, but I had met the goal that I set the day before the race. “Have nothing left. Know you couldn’t have done better on that given day”.
I wandered, and sobbed until I found the place where they give you Gatorade, and they take your chip off. Mind you I didn’t know they were supposed to take my chip and they hunted me down. I got my bag and went to the family find area, and sat down, still crying. A random runner came up to me and asked me if I was alright. I said yes and that i was just looking for my family. She offered me her cell phone and I had my family meet me.

It was so cute to see them all running towards me. Super Dano and Gilda were there and we talked, and Danielle made me stretch and stuff. It was great just sitting there with them though. I ended up finding Wendy and Teresa, and saying thanks for their help, and then Alyson and Stuart as well.

After we got everyone organized, Rick went to get the car. I stopped into work to say hello. I guess I was walking like a 96 y/o woman cause everyone was asking if I was alright. It was great to see their positive happy faces afterwards. I went home and crashed on the couch. For quite awhile. I then made my brother walk to get me Salt and Vinegar chips and root beer. My mom ordered Swiss Chalet for dinner and it took me several hours to finally eat.

Stats:
Chip Time: 5:12
Analysis: Not today. Let me remember how to walk first. You guys are probably sick of reading. The count on word is 2,900 words.

I am a Marathoner

2008-09-28T14:46:00.001-07:00

And too exhausted to write about it...
stay tuned.

Check, Check and Check

2008-09-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

I have to run a marathon tomorrow. I'm talking 26.2 miles. I'm talking 42.2km. I'm talking a hell of a long way.

I'm running a marathon. Holy bjeebers. I have no coherent thoughts, so I'm just going to mentally go through the checklists (by writing them down on my blog) and then going to say "Farewell" until after I have run.

Checklists completed: CHECK
Bib and chip attatched: CHECK
Close laid out-CHECK
Mantras written down on arm: almost CHECK
Playlists Made: CHECK
Water into me: CHECK
Post Race Bag packed: CHECK
Mental ready: not soo much

Tomorrows the day. The day I've been waiting for since I started training. I feel like I've done my training and I'm as ready as I ever will be.

Here is the goal, one more time, in writing:

I am going to finish, with nothing left. I want to know that I gave it 190% and couldn't have done anything differently, I will be happy.

So there it is! I'm doing it. This is it!

Lots of pictures to come, but no time to post them now.

I had the privelege of meeting Marci, Marlene and Laurel today! IT was so neat to meet you ladies in person! And apparently, we're all honorary WOO-HOOS!

I bet you're all jealous. You should be :)

This is all you'll hear from me til it's over! My bib number is 1634. You can track me if you want on : www.sportstats.ca -Emily Letourneau.

See you on the flip side

The Reason I hate taper

2008-09-24T19:33:00.001-07:00

I've made a decision.
If I survive this marathon, and if, by some lapse in mental sanity, I decide that I am going to run another marathon I am going to for-go the taper.

WHY?!?

Because I am SICK!!!

All those lovely people I have been spending most of my time with have been sick. I thought that since I was eating well, and taking my vitamins and feeding vitamins to other people that I would be fine and I would get sick after the marathon, which would not be a big deal, because the race was already one.

Last night, I went to bed thinking that i had drank too much water. I had a wicked headache and weird feeling in my tummmy tums. I went to bed and woke up with a wicked sore throat. OH CRAP, I thought to myself, as I proceeded to make the executive decision to hang low, read the notes on what I was supposed to learn that day and make my way to the doctor.

I then went and purchased some Cold FX, and halls, and a runners world. After that I looked at my lists. The lists of all the things I had to do this week, and cut down any unneccessary things. I am pretty confident that I was doing wayyyy tooo much for post marathon week. For example, tomorrow instead of running all hours of the day, I'm going to class, 'reading for classes' (or checking the weather again, and planning my race strategy) going to get my pants and then going to my clinic. Thankfully I have a speaker to do the race prep talk...

If I did it, it would sound something like this:

ustjay rinkday otslay foay aterway nday ontday rytay nythingnay ewnay. ownay etslay ogay otay ateay astapay.

So, I'm sick. But I am thinking UBER positively because the power of positive thoughts will help to make me healthy!!!

Yeah. That's about the state of me right now. I just saw the "Spirit of the Marathon."
What.an.amazing.movie.
You laugh, you cry, your there running right along with them.

It's coming out on October 7th. It's mine on October 7th.

I've got my mantras figured out as well:

I'm strong, I'm fit, I trained for this!
Pain is temporary, pride is forever!
sometimes the walls are there so we can prove how much we really want something-from the last lecture.
It's the long run that puts the Tiger in the Cat
Run Strong, Think Big, Be Proud

And I'll also change my language to "I can" and "I will" instead of "Can't"

I need to make my playlist still. Bags are pretty much packed. As soon as I have my kit my race stuff will be packed and set out. Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.

I'm in marathon mode. And I'm excited. and scared out of my mind.

3 days. Expect a frantic post or two before Sunday. The race is on Sunday. In like 3 days. Or less!!!

Tigrrr

This Is The Story of a Girl...

2008-09-22T11:39:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, in a far away land, where they live in igloos and penguins roam free, there was a silly, niave highschool student that got a brochure in the mail from Team In Training. At that moment she decided that she was going to run a marathon. She excitedly went to tell her parents that she was going to run a marathon and was greeted with immediate laughter and snide remarks somewhere along the lines of, "Ha, no you won't."

But this girl soldiered on.

Fast Forward a year and a half.

This girl has been training. We're talking hardcore training for the past four months. She changed her eating habits to something, although not perfect, much better than they were before. She changed her sleeping schedule. She gave up most of her social life to train for this race. She ran long hours by herself on Sunday mornings. She found that her sanity stayed in tact as long as she got her runs in.

As the months crept past, this girl felt herself getting stronger and stronger. More and more ready to tackle this journey that most will never attempt in their lifetimes. Sure, she had some bad runs like everyone else, but she got through them. Sure, there were times when she asked herself what the hell she was doing, asking herself why she was doing this. She pushed those negative attitudes aside (with the help of the wonderful people she's met at her knew job who's positive attitudes are absolutely contagious). She kept trucking on.

Fast Forward to Now

This girl has so much exess energy she scares the people around her. Her excitement and Obsession have become too much for most normal people to handle. This girl has lists. Lists with little boxes to check off as things have been done. She's including water drinking and playlist making on the list.

This girl is so ridiculous that she has picked out her clothes for the upcoming week, and created outfits that lay on her kitchen table. We're talking complete outfits with undergarnments and socks. The things that she is laying out for her race are slowly congregating on said table as well.

Her post race bag is almost packed and just waiting for the pants she bought for post race which are being hemmed. Said pants will be ready Wednesday. She has packed the bag she has to take to work on Saturday which includes clothes for work, clothes for the Blogger meet up and clothes for her work party.

She has a list of things that she needs to buy this week. All of these lists are on brightly colored cardstock paper, and she carries around a retractable sharpie pen so that if need be she can check things of this list.

Said girl just realized how far 42.2km actually is. She is trying her best not to let that thought get in the way of her positive thoughts. Positive thoughts that will be plastered all over her arms, and race bib on race day.

This girl will post pictures once she gets home, so that you can see the extent of this taper madness.

5 sleeps and counting. (I say 5 sleeps not because I can't count, but because I am pretty much positive that I will not be sleeping on the 6th night!!!

Hope you're all excited for your upcoming races!:)

Tigrrr

Obsession?

2008-09-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

Maybe? I'm thinking so.

I've got list. 3 pages of lists of things I need to do before the race this week. As in before Sunday. I've gotta do all the petty little stuff like creating a race playlist, figuring out and re-figuring out the order I'm going to run in, picking out and purchasing race outfit. Making sure that I have run in it atleast twice before the race.

After I completed those lists, I made lists of what I need to pack:

Race Bag

Clean underwear and bra
Pants
Tank
Warm long sleeve top
Sweater
Flip Flops
Hair Brush
Something to wash my face with
Kleenex
Cellphone
Jacket
Cell phone and camera batteries

Race Clothes to be set on bed the night before:

Outfit yet to be decided (shorts, top and bra)
Socks (that I've worn before)
Running shoes with chip attatched
Race bib attatched to bib holder
Gels pinned to race belt
Garmin (charged)
Body Glide/vasoline
deoderant (I don't want to be the smelly runner)
permanent marker (to write race order on self, as well as mantras)
Camera (to be decided)
Long sleeved cotton shirt I'll throw away
1 bottle of gatorade for morning of
1 bottle of water

I have decided in order to be space efficient, that I'll be writing my mantras on my arms. This way I'll can read them and remember them without having to take out annoying paper and what not. The race order will also be written on my arms.

Race bag will be packed Friday night. Race clothes will be set out Friday night. On top of my race clothes and race bags I will put out cardstock checklists.

Example:

Before you go to bed:

Is your garmin charged
Is your ipod charged
Is your water set out
Have you checked your race clothes sitting out? Has anybody touched them?

On the Door before going outside:

Do you have everything that is on both checklists?
Have you eaten breakfast?
Have you gone to the washroom?
Is it before 5:30am?

Yeah. This might be bordering CDO (like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order like they should be).

I have also been having a 'bipolar taper'. My mood changes 3 times in 10 minutes. My moms not too impressed with this though. lol.

So that's my life right now. Next week is so so soo busy!!!! I'm so excited for the busy-ness though!!!

Catch up with you all later today!

And SO it begins...

2008-09-16T11:34:00.000-07:00

The self doubt and paranoia has come up in full force over the last 3 hours.

Holy crap. I have to run a marathon. It's not longer "YAY, I get to run a marathon," It's "I have to run for some ridiculous amount of time that people don't like to even drive and I'm going to do so with a smile on my face after having trained only 36km."

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!

And I know it's still 11 more sleeps until I'm running this thing, but the non-logical part of me is thinking that this is going to give me more time to prepare. I can go out and run 42km, and then I know I'm ready.

But alas, the logical part of me is saying--too close of a time for injuring my poor, (slightly less)exhausted body already.

What does my body have to say about all this?

Why are you not taking me out for a 3hr run today??? What am I going to do with all this extra, pent up energy, hm? I know you took me out for an hour run Yesterday and that you're going to make me work and go to school today but I NEED to run!

And so I take my body out for a short (20 minute) run. During this 20 minutes, everythinnggg hurts. I'll put them in list form for your easy reading pleasure (and we'll do it logically too-we can start at the bottom and work our way up:

Heels of my feet and balls of my feet: Plantar Facitiis? My mom had that for awhile. Maybe it runs in the family. Freezing juice can to roll on the bottom of my feet when I get home.
Arches: Feel like they're falling. Is it my orthodics? Could they be worn out already? I got them in March. What about my shoes? Could that be the problem? Is the cushioning gone?
Ankles: Maybe the orthodics aren't correctioning my problems and I'm still rolling over on my ankles. OR maybe they're correcting it too much and it's making it worse? What if????Maybe this taper is causing me to gain weight and it's too much for my ankles to handle and they're going to give out on me (note: This is not (yet?) the reason due to the fact that when I stepped on the scale my weight is consistant...but it could be)
Achilles Tendon: It's tight. Both of them. It might be because of the oncoming plantar facitis and tight calves.
Calves: Are cramping when I'm just sitting around doing nothing. Maybe I'm not hydrated well enough. Maybe I have a salt imbalance. Maybe it's something to do with potassium.Maybe that Beardsley guy that Nitmos talks about is going to follow me around before the marathon.
Knees: Both of them. My bad knee hurts around the ACL and my other (better) knee hurts where it meets my IT Band. Did I re-tear my ACL? Maybe theres scar tissue on my ITBand. Must roll out with 'The Stick' when I return to my home

My quads, hips, hams and core are fine (thankfully) but then you get to:

6. My Lungs and Throat: My lungs are aching and my throat is killing me. Now, this one may not be in my head because taper is the best time to get sick (well not the best time but a likely time) and everyone at work and school is sick and my mother (like always) is sick again. I have a plan of action for this one as well...I'm going to get vitamin C tonight as soon as I am done work, and I am going to carry it around and give it to everyone close to me so that they don't get sick (thus giving me no possible way of getting sick. Brilliant, right?)

I will post the other thing that is plaguing my thoughts as well, and then hopefully forget about it until tomorrow:

The goal for the race is to finish with nothing at all left. Just completely depleated (and elated). But the question then is: HOW? I know, I work hard for a long time, but what if I work hard too early and then run out of energy and then not finish? Or what if I start to late and could've done better or what if, what if, what if?!?!

How do I make the "What if's" go away??

AFAFVIABAHUDAGFHASDF

YEAH.

I'll figure it out and let you know.

Zooom

2008-09-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

As can be noted by the last post, I have developed the one track race mind. I told a few people I would make them personalized training programs (Practicing what I know/what I'm learning) and they read more like a short novel than a training program!

I love how busy life is. It makes time fly by. Zooooooom (just a fun, childish word that I like to use never)

This week I'm deciding on my outfit (almost picked out), my race playlist, the order I'm running my race in (as in, for whom), and my race strategy. Come Monday next week I will begin packing my bag (because the week is crazy).

I bought the Last Lecture. And read it. Twice. And cried both times (and as you guys have been told that doesn't happen often so it's gotta be good). It's a heart-wrenching story and it makes you think.

I'm thinking about my childhood dreams and about the things that are going to make me truly happy. As soon as I figure them out, I'll put them into action. And you'll hear all about them (along with the running. Who knows, maybe on a run it'll trigger a childhood dream and you'll get a 4 pg blog entry about it. But if that happens I promise to write it in installments so it's tolerable!). The other book that I'm reading is called "Embracing Uncertainty" and it's basically how not to worry. The book, along with the fabulous people that I am priveledged to work with (their positive attitudes are contagious you know) helped me get through what (in my mind) was a really difficult week. Just stuff going on that worries me for reasons that make no sense.It's tough passing those big dates though. You know the ones when your whole life changes in an instant and you have no control over it?

Back to my one track mind:

We had to draw a picture in paint for one of my classes to get us used to the the programs and stuff.

I thought I would show it to you! So without further ado, here is what I pay $5000 a year to learn (Not really):

You guys might be getting a post once a day from now on, becaues my family and friends are sick of hearing about it and we're still 2 weeks out! (Well actually as of right now, we're 12 days, 13hrs and 22 minutes from race day!)

I'll be back commenting on blogs when I find a plug. Or go home. Or come to school 4hrs early tomorrow to fill out documents.

Wow-Wee!

2008-09-12T19:59:00.000-07:00

Just thought you should know that we are approximately 15 days out from the marathon.

Things that are going through my head include, but are not limited too:

Stairs: Why are there so many stairs at my school? How am I going to get around the day after? I have soo many classes that day too. Maybe I should invest in some sort of walking aid (like a stick or something.) And maybe a rolly-bag too. Or maybe I just won't bring any books. Just a computer. It's lighter than all those text books. For really reals.

Headphones: It's sooo difficult to find a pair of headphones that are light, and will stay in. I've been experimenting with different kinds of ear buds lately but, apparently ears sweat. Ear sweat + stuff in your ears=stuff in your ears falling out. And then theres all the ear wax and stuff...yeah.

Music: Gotta have a kickin' playlist just incase time get rough! Any suggestions? I'll put you guys on my playlist and re-name the song so your name is in it!

Outfit: Now this is where it gets tricky. Ideally I wanted to wear a bra top, but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable enough to actually do it. 42.2km with people looking at my not so nice stomach. I'm sure that after awhile you stop trying to hold it in and the picture I can't imagine will be that nice either.

Not only is it what to wear, its what color to wear! I'll be co-ordinating colors with several other people. That's where it gets tough. I'd like to have my outfit by Sunday night.

Weather: Is it even going to be nice enough to run in a bra top? Geeze, that makes it even more complicated (especially with the whole color co-ordinating bit). I'm not too concerned about the actual weather. I can deal with heat and I can deal with cold and I can deal with in between. It'll be fantastic any way you slice it. Besides, weather is something I can't control, so why worry about it. It's a complete waste of energy.

Watch: Should I wear one? I guess I technically have a time goal, but I also don't have a watch charger. And I don't want to be a slave for my watch either. If I'm capable of a sub 4hr race (which I KNOW that I am) then I will do it with or without a watch. I could keep my eyes out for pace bunnies to gauge how I am doing (but I won't ever run with one again!)

Run Order: Member how I said I'm going to do a 5k for 8 different people and then the last 2.5k for myself. I know I'm doing one for my Grumpy, one for the people at work, one for my best friend, one for you guys, one for Danielle, one for someone whos moving away, One for my family, and one for Mr. Science teacher and one for my running group. It`ll help keep things fresh. I just need to know where I want to put them all. My running group (who always like to give me a hard time) said they`d like to be around the place where you hit the wall so that I`ll hear their voice telling me to stop). 32-37km are taken. tell me where I should put you guys.

Mantras: To pull me through the tough times. I got some good ones! What gets you through the rough times.

Nutrition: To carry a fuel belt or not to carry a fuel belt. That is the question. Waters stations every 2.5 km. Gels can be pinned to me and then easily ripped off. Water and gatorade at aid stations of just water. Should I drink at every aid station. The way I have my walk breaks planned is to run between aid stations and then walk through the station.

On the run photography: This one is an interesting one. Do I run with my camera. I will definately be taking picture beforehand. Do I take pictures on the run. If I know I`m going to come in under 4, then I won`t waste time but what if it`s not in the cards. Wouldn`t it be fun to stop and take pictures and enjoy the run...I think I will put new batteries in my camera and run with it.

Pre-race: What time should I go to bed at. How early is too early. When should my last meal be. What time should I wake up and when should we leave (keeping in mind traffic). Should I watch a movie the night before. If I get up and have breakfast at 4 am, will it still be working by the time the race starts at 730am.

Post Race: One thing I know about post race is that I don`t want to have any energy left. I want to have completely depleted every ounce of glycogen in my body. Then I will know that I couldn`t have done any better and have no reason to be upset with, or worry about my time. I already have a piggy back ride to the car, and I`ve warned relatives who will be there cheering me on that all they`re getting from me is a sweaty hug. Hopefully no medical tent, but we`re batting 50% here.

Bags: Do i check my bag or leave it with my mom. Given past experiences, I probably should check it since my mother is the hardest person in the world for me to find post race. What should I bring with me...

Clean everything. Bra, panties, most likely long pants and a long sleeved shirt (I`m cold blooded, remember).
Cookies...
Blanket
Deoderant and oxy clean so I don`t feel really gross
KLEENEX! (without fail my noes always runs at the end of races)

Any other suggestions...

I know guys, this sounds ridiculous, but I really only have about a week to get ready for this. The week before the marathon is soo freaking crazy you wouldn`t believe it. Let me just enlighten you.

Marathon Week:

Monday: Class til 6:30pm
Tuesday: Work until 10pm, class starts at 8:30
Wednesday: The Spirit of the Marathon Movie
Thursday: Go visit Mr. Science Teacher, Run clinic
Friday: Race Expo
Saturday: Work in the morning, Bloggy meet-up in the evening sometime (hopefully
Sunday: I`m a marathoner!

And I get to fit in 3 runs and family and homework time.

So really, Ì don`t think its ridiculous that I am thinking about all this right now. I don`t. I am a ridiculous person though. BUT YOU LOVEE ME!:)

I look forward to these next few weeks. They`re so exciting! I`m excited. Life is exciting.

Thanks for putting up with me folks!:)

The Last Lecture

2008-09-10T08:58:00.001-07:00

Go Watch this guys.
You'll thank me later:)

Tiger

When Life Leaves you With A Sour Taste In Your Mouth...

2008-09-08T15:33:00.000-07:00

Forget about it and think about all things running.
(Things have been intense the last few days, but I am learning that worrying doesn't help!)
That is my new coping mechanism.
This running blog (should) be going back to being a running blog, atleast for the next 3 weeks. Do you know whats happening in three weeks yesterday? (Lily and Vickie can't answer)

I am going to be a marathoner.

And in three weeks today, I will be hobbling around like Im crippled. But I think it's going to be the best pain I've ever been in, because pain is going to equal accomplishment.
Do you know what else will have happened? I will have won the bet! Rick told me I wouldn't run a marathon, but I'm going to do it!!! And I'm going to buy the jacket and long sleeve shirt and socks and hat and and and...you just wait! I'll be all decked out and I'm totally wearing my medal to school too.

This weekend I completed a 28km run. Next weekend is going to be like 24km and then the week after is going to be 16-20km at Goal Race Pace.

Speaking of GRP, I don't have one. Well, actually I lied. Ideally, my GRP is 5:12/km and based on my tempo pace, I can do it. But i don't think I want to wear a garmin or worry about race pace and time and splits. I think I just want to have fun. You only get to run your first marathon once, right?

Based on the training I've done with my Garmin, I think I'm capable of a sub 4. But we all know how races are. You can wake up and have a crappy race or have a great race, no matter how much preparing you do.
That being said, this is my race strategy:

Run the first half at exactly 2hrs
Run the second half in like 1:55.
Thus, a sub 4hr finish.

But mentally, this is going to be hard. So what I have decided to do is to run 8 5k's. This means that at the beginning of everyone, I'll (hopefully) feel fresh and ready to go. I'll run a 5k for my RBF too. :) I don't really want to care about the time to be honest. I want to finish. I want to leave everything on the course. And I want to be happy just crossing the finish line...

I'm going to pin my gels to my shorts and rip them off when I need them. I'm also going to be buying my outfit soon. My bra top. I'm not sure if I'm ready to wear the bra top though...We'll see.

And...

I can't wait to Carbo-load. It's taper time now (ish, no more 3.5hr runs by myself) and I'm feeling ready to do this thing!

I'm now off to catch up.

TiGeR!

Long Overdue!

2008-09-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

Heyyyyyy:)

Remember me? That Tiger girl that runs a lot? And (used) to work a lot (but loves her job)? The one who is on a mission for self-improvement and self- betterment?

She started school today! And she knows all of you who don't go to school are super jealous because, while she gets a break from reality and gets to go to school for the next 8 months, you guys are stuck working real jobs to pay real bills. (Although I have to admit, if I could travel to some of the places you have travelled to, I'd be willing to reconsider)

So what goeth on in my life?
Many, many things.

1) SCHOOL STARTED! I love it! I love school. New things to learn. New doors opened. New friends. New boys. New possibility. It's just great.

2) Marathon in like 25 days. That's LESS than a month away!!! I can just feel you guys getting excited! I am going to try to make it so my work has a waterstation. Yesterday I went and got 250 brochures, some posters and they gave me a free hat.

3) On that note, I think I want to be a race director when I grow up. Thinking, and talking about running for like a job, I think it would be amazing. I'm not sure how to get involved but I'm going to see if next summer I can't volunteer and be like assisstant to the race director and then wiggle my way in from there. It would be so much fun I think.

4)I'm going to stop worrying. I know, I know. I've said that before. But I'm going to make a concious effort. Instead of hoping, I'm going to wonder. We'll see how it works. Hey, whatever gets me through the day right?

5) It's going to be exactly a year since it all went down on Friday. And I'm not worrying. I'm going to try and plan lunch or something so I know everything is fine. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can read about it here.

I'm excited about life. And I'm excited about catching up with you guys.
Talk to you sooon:)

Uhm Yeah.

2008-08-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

Heyyy guys!

Life's good when I'm busy. No time for anything. Lots to tell you but no time. Only running 22k tomorrow, but biking and working too.
My sister's going away to University Monday! Yay for her. I'm making her a picture for her wall with my new favourite quote. I think I'm going to have a 'life related' quote of the day from now on. Don't count on it though...

I'll probably update a little later (i.e. tomorrow).

Those of you running the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon/Half Marathon or 5k CONTACT ME! I want to arrange a blogger meet up and it looks like the weeks leading up are going to be ridiculously crazy. (It'll be good though! SoOoOo Excited about school!)

So yeah I'm still alive. Off to get my transition bags ready...

Tiger

P.S. Check out the link for "New Balance Sneakers by New Balance Harrison" in the corner of my blog! They make a killer product!

On Life, Running, Goals and the Olympics

2008-08-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

So, first an update on this letting go bit: It sucks. I'm being bombarded with feelings and issues that I don't want to ever deal with and I'm pretty close to a breaking point. It's verrryyy hard being 'happy' some days when all I want to do is curl up into a ball and sleep forever. But that's not productive or going to help at all. I'm being brave. And I'm not like her. I do have a best friend who's pretty good at helping distract me though. I just want it to be over.

That's all I'm saying about that for awhile.

Now, onto the running stuff.

1) I'm tired, and ready to taper. I'm also not sure I want to do a marathon. Holy man guys, it's in like 35 days. The 'what if's' are already starting. No fun. I only have 2 more long runs until taper time, so I'm gonna make the most of them. I also need to pick out my bra top soon. Woohoo.

2) I cannot find the charger for my Garmin anywhere. I'm starting to get bothered. I wonder if I can order one on e-bay or something. It's the cradle part I'm missing, not the thing that plugs into the wall. Boo. I'm borrowing my mothers until I find mine.

3) Canada kicked ass in the men's triathalon. It was intense and amazing and I loved it. Seriously. The last 10 minutes when Simon Whitfeild fell behind and then kicked it about 200m from the end, apparently too soon because Fronando came out of nowhere!! Intense, I tell you, just intense.

So, my goals for this week:

1) Catch up with your blogs.
2) Spend the day with mom on Tuesday. It's been awhile since we've had one of those days.
3) Not breakdown
4) Run 5 times, once to Oakville! (but I will start closer)
5) Ride my bike to Oakville or downtown Toronto. Either works, just depends on my mood/time...

These blogs are getting shorter and shorter. Just over a week until school starts! I can't wait!!!:)

And now we return...

2008-08-20T20:00:00.000-07:00

to our regularly scheduled programming.

I'm thinking that it's time to update you guys on the stuff you really care about: Running. and biking. and all things athletic.

Excuse my poor spelling, lack of punctuation and all that other good jazz. (it's late).
And since it's late, I'm going to do it all in the form of bullets.

Running has been okay. Tough run Sunday. 32k. Sat down infront of the fire station and was wondering what the heck I was doing, running this far.
Today, was going to run 25, hop on bus and get to my clinic. I was running to Oakville. The run was very good. I felt relatively strong, despite some serious GI issues (I think my body is just tired.) It, however, was not the 25km I had originally planned it to be...It was 31km. So...yeah. I was wayyy off time. And to top that off, I stopped more than 4 times to use the washroom (not going to go into details, but think of your classics and I had 'em). Then stopped 2 more times while waiting for the bus. (I'm starting to think that it was more what my mother is suffering with, rather than GI issues. They still haven't gone away....
I was in a bike crash the other day. I was riding to work, down one of the main roads, and I was thinking that I was going to ride to work all the way on the road. I was less than a mile from my house when the curb turns into a right hand turn lane. I, being the road smart rider I am, stayed riding on the line. And then people started passing me from every which way. I'm talking going into the turn lane, and coming back infront of me...

Then the light turned red, and I stopped but couldn't get my foot out of the trap pedal. And my bike and I fell into the right hand turn lane. I'm greatful that the car behind me (oncoming) wasn't on a cell phone, because I might've been toast.

Now, I've said before, if I ever fell off my bike, I was going to never get back on it. But I fell of my bike in the middle of the road, got up, and finished riding (albeit veryyyy slowly on sidewalks) to work.

I was lucky, and escaped with only a bloody ankle, road rash on my legs and a verrryy sore arm (because you know how it is when you're falling, you put your arm out to break your fall).

So those are my big stories. I'll catch up soon guys.
So much to read, so little time!

Letting Go

2008-08-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

Recently, I wrote down some goals.
And then I looked at them.
And then I changed them.
And stressed over them.
And freaked out when people looked at them.
And truthfully just wanted to rip them up and forget about them.

I wasn't sure exactly why this was a big deal, but evidently it was a huge deal for me. Thinking about them made me want to cry, and talking about them put me on edge. I've decided that it's because I'm:

a) afraid of failure
b) Ridiculously goal oriented, so choosing the important once was almost impossible.
c) a person that thinks wayyyy too much. (This is something that you guys know about me. Heck, my colleagues, family, running buddies, even the mailman knows that I overthink things. I think it's borderline OCD)

But one day when I was talking to my manager about goals, she suggested that I stop thinking and go with my gut. Guess what I did on that lunch break? I finished my goals. Completed. Done. Boyyy was it a relief.

And then, guess what I did? I started thinking some more. Yeah. Surprised? I knew it. The goals I was having trouble with weren't the health or career goals, it was the personal goals. Some of these goals included having a healthy relationship with my mom and not being resentful of her illness, inspiring groups of vulnerable children by telling them my story instead of having it follow me around like a shadow (which someday I'll get brave enough to post here), but I realized that in order to do this, I have to let go.

I was recently talking to a good friend of mine, and she was telling me how her dad is still holding onto things from when he was very young, and that now at like 70, he's just getting over it. Can you imagine carrying that heavy of a load with you for 60 years?? I don't want to be that old and just finally realizing that I could've let it go a long time ago, and lived a happier life if I had done so.

Now, I wouldn't be telling the truth if I told you that I wasn't scared out of my wits here. I don't know if I have a plan here. I think I'm going to start decompartmentalizing things. This has been my defense mechanism for such a long time, so it's not going to be easy.

Last week when I got that bad news (That I'm still not saying because I don't want it to be real) I got a taste of what it was like to not micro-manage my thoughts. I also got a taste of what it's like to feel things that I don't want to feel. The thing about this, is that it hasn't gone away. So, what I'm doing is I'm going to do is just feel it and let it go (And cry if I have to, because I'm stronger than she is).

I think, though, that this is easier said than done. We're talking 8 years of stuff in the life box that I haven't wanted to deal with. So this is why I'm putting it out there. It's half the battle, right? I'm going to have integrity, and let it go. I'm on my way to (hopefully) leaving a legacy.

I have so much more to say on this, but this is all my mind can handle for now. I would, however, like to thank you, my blogger buddies, for listening to, and accepting this part of me. It really does make a big difference to know that people around the world who I haven't met are pulling for me. You've all made a difference in my life.

And to my friends that read this, thanks to you to. Love you guys.

Still to come: My first bike accident, and the other goals I speak of in here.

Emily.

*and breathe. Hit Publish*

8 on the...10th. RR

2008-08-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

Before I post this, I would just like to thank you guys for your kind words and support on my last post. Things’ll be okay eventually!<3

Hello! Welcome to the Summer Olympic Games, held right here in Bejing, China. My name is Shu Lee, and I will be your host for this race report. Some very exciting events happened as we added a new event to this years Olympics, so stay tuned for a very new athletes crazy antics.

We have a new event here in the Summer Olympic Games. Here in the Chinese culture, the number eight is considered a very lucky number. In fact, many Chinese women have decided to have their babies induced, as much as three or four months early so there children will be born on 08-08-08. The brand new event we have added, suggested by Nancy, is an eight mile race.
Last week, over 2,500 athletes checked into Olympic Village, hoping to acclimatize their bodies to the altitude, and the thick layer of pollution sitting over the town.

One of those who couldn’t make it to China for the games, was Ontario’s own Tiger L. However, her story is one for the books, so we’re going to spend a little bit about her.

Tiger’s journey began just 1.5 short years ago, when her dad told her she wouldn’t run a marathon. She qualified for the just 3 weeks ago, on her birthday, with her split in a 16km race. The race itself was not fantastic, but when she found out that she qualified for this fantastic event, she was so disappointed when she couldn’t make it. She had other commitments, such as school, and work (Dagnamit)

However, to celebrate the event, she decided she would run her eight miles in her home town of Toronto Ontario. Unfortunately, an injury overtook her, and she was forced to do the two days late, on August 10th.

Leaving her house at a time of exactly 8:08am, she was ready to do this eight mile race! She had her fuel belt filled with water, a bunch of sour keys in her pocket, her I-pod fully charged with a killer play list of songs including some ABBA and other classics. The one thing Tiger did not have was her Garmin, so she relied on the likes of her ipod, noting the time she started and the time she finished.

She ran the first 2 miles by herself, finally meeting up with her pacer Super Dano! (pacers were allowed in this event, right?) , and the whole 8 miles, they flew along at a good clip. The run was done in 1:18. After the 8 miles were done, Tiger split up with her pacer and ran the remaining miles in the 17 she had on tap for this weekends marathon schedule.

What fun! I can’t wait for the triathlon, slalom kayaking and synchronized swimming!!!
Just a side note: After this run, (since I had my running buddy) I was calm and relieved. It’s amazing what you can figure out on a long run. Seriously.

Canada is going to kick butt.:)

Tears.

2008-08-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

So, I debated posting this.
But then I decided that you, my running blogger family (note: This does not include the people who are blood related to me), get to see the true, authentic Tiger (who totally apologizes for being pretty negative lately).

The way my brain works is different from a lot of peoples.
I can work, and take out a box that says work and think about work.
I can run and take out a box that says run and then think about running.
I can take out a box that says boys and then think about boys.
I can take out a box that says friends, family, sleep, leisure, school, whatever.

There's one box that I have avoided taking out, at all costs, in fear of what it might bring me.
This box contains everything that I run from. Everything that hurts me even just a little, goes in this box.

I got some bad news the other day. I'm not going to write down or say outloud what it is, because it's going to make it real, and right now it's not real.

That was the last straw, I guess. I think that this box has overfilled, and is spilling over into my other boxes.

So now, I can work, but I'll think about the things that bother me.
I don't ususally cry...but I cried the other day (*Gasp*). I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if I was allllllll by myself in my bed, or with my best friend, but it wasn't. It's difficult for me to grasp, really. I haven't cried since October (because of something other than running) so now whenever I think I feel like crying (which sucks, cause I see crying as a sign of weakness and I'm so not weak).

So I don't really know what to do. I know that as long as I'm talking to people and keeping myself occupied (i.e. talking, listening, running) I'm ok. As soon as I'm folding pants or something like that, it goes downhilll.

I guess I just gotta keep myself busy. This is foreign ground guys. Im so far away from Okay.
Booo:(
I guess it's time to face what I've been hiding from, but HOW do I do it without letting it interfere with my life. It's getting reallly hard to pretend I'm the same happy perky person to the people around me.

You guys must've had some sort of experience...?

7 Things

2008-08-03T16:50:00.000-07:00

Well, it's amazing what 7 complete days of no running does to a girl.

I said I was going to read blogs, and I was going to read about running, I was going to talk about running, and it was all going to be fine.

But it wasn't.

Monday I decided I I read a little bit about running (Devoured the Non Runners Marathon Guide for Women--book report to come. That is if I can remember how to write a book report...it's been too longg). I didn't get through Chi Running, not because it was a bad book, but because I wanted to be trying it all so much, I thought I'd better save it for when I could start running again.

I did pilates on Tuesday. Very good workout. Sore for 2 days after, but it wasn't the same kind of endorphins.

By Wednesday, I was loosing my words and tripping over things. The mood swings also began this day. One second I was chipper and happy, raving about something, and the next second I was ready to bite someones head off. It was like a massive case of PMS. Today I went to the running store and got new shoes. I also had to send my clinic off. That sucked. Realllyyyyy sucked.

Thursday was worse. I had to still go to my clinic and watch my friends run. And talk to them being all perky about running. When I sent them off, and was watching them run their hills, I wanted to cry (but remember, I don't cry). My parents went away this day, for the whole weekend, which was good, because if they hadn't gone away, I'd probably be in the dog house for being such a not nice person.

Friday was not memorable. I don't remember Friday at all.

Saturday it allllll hit rock bottom. It was a really bad day. It wasn't supposed to be, in theory, a bad day, but it ended up being awful! I was so excited about a breakfast, but I couldn't shut my damn mind up. It was so frustrating. I managed to make it through the breakfast without starting off into Space or anything, but I don't think I contributed much either. Then I had 2 hours to waste before I had to work. The book I finished writing suggested journalling. So I got a book, and some pretty pens and decided that I was going to journal about my running, just as Dawn Dias had.
I started to journal about running. And then that turned into a bunch of negative background thoughts I had...and it sucked. It was ridiculous. Retarded. I was in an emotional blur. Numb. No feeling. Everything I completely avoid thinking about was brought out of the woodwork and was going to make me think about it. Usually I can say, 'SHUTUP! I'm Running!' or 'I'm working' or 'I'm eating/sleeping/showering' etc, but it wasn't working...
And I was supposed to go to work and be happy. That was the toughest day ever.
I went to meet my best friend at Walmart after. I felt a little better, then came home and watched Nanny Diaries (happy, light, fun, not serious, good distraction).

This morning, I didn't go to run club (i.e. this no running thing was getting to me and it would have made me want to jump into on coming traffic or something. Ok. Maybe not that extreme, but it might have made me want to eat myself into a coma. Not that I'm the kind of person that just eats to make herself feel better. But I needed to runnnnnn...

Instead, I went to a movie, and ate a lot. (not quite to the level of a coma, but pretty close)
Step Brothers is not a movie I recommend.
And I didn't gain a pound this week. That's a good thing.

Today marks the seventh day of not running.
Seven Things I learned about myself:

I'm an addict. Plain and simple. I need my endorphins.
I'm good at running away from things
I like reading about running...most times
I get jealous of people who run when I can't.
My mood can change on a dime
Injuries suck and my body isn't very good at negotiating.
The following is an actual snippet from a conversation that actually took place between me and my body:
Tiger: Okay, body, how bout we go for a bike ride. I'll stick the side roads, keep in nice and flat, I just need to be moving.
Body: How about we don't.
Tiger: I'm the boss, you're not.
Body: Ok, fine you wanna play like that? I'm going to send seering pains up your leg. How do you like that?
Tiger: I guess. your the boss (Defeated)
I want to run tomorrow.

Not very interesting things, but not running totally effects everything I do. Man... I feel sorry for my parents when I have to taper for my upcoming marathon...

On a positive note: all my workout clothes are clean. And I'm going for an easy 6 mile run tomorrow.

I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkk:)

TiGrrrr (Rawr)

Speaking of Tigers (or Lions) Michjoy had a video on her blog about lions and human and love. Don't know how to put a video in my blog, therefor, I'll give you the link to it on Youtube!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWtRYaxmWM&eurl=http://runningdowndreams.wordpress.com/2008/08/01/its-true-that-we-love-one-another/

What if...?

2008-08-01T19:57:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow you woke up with amnesia, and you didn't remember who you were or what you were doing?
Would you still be doing the same thing you are now?

Post your reply in the comments section...
I'll think about it and let you guys know by Monday.

...See what not running does?
It uh, makes you go philisophical.

Day 3- No Running

2008-07-30T17:32:00.000-07:00

And I'm a mess.
I'm loosing my words.
I'm tripping over things. I'm dropping things.

3 days.no running.make tiger go crazy.

I'm reading...about Running.

I'm Reading the
Non-Runner's Marathon Guide for Women.
It's hilarious.

I'm also reading ChiRunning.

You'll have a full book report when I'm done (end of the week?)

I'm going to nap. send out some emails. Then come read and comment on blogs.

On a positive note, I finished writing my goals. Since I'm sooooo goal oriented, goal writing stressed me out, even with the goal coaching and support of everyone.
It's a huge relief.

I'm trying to be positive.:):):)
I'll come out alive.

look forward to my comments on your blogs.

Committed--and on the sidelines...

2008-07-27T06:38:00.000-07:00

"Life is full of setbacks, success is determined by how you handle the setbacks" --This is a picture of me after the last race I did...

We'll take a pic after the marathon to compare pics.

So, I signed up for my full marathon.
I finally did it.
I bit the bullet.
I pushed the fear of failure to the side and paid my $85.00 to run in the marathon in 2 months and one day.

And I have to take a week off.

My ITB was really bugging me on Wednesday, and I didn't run Thursday because of it. Then, I set out for 26km this morning and only managed 17km. Physically, I felt fantastic. I could run forever!!! But mechanically my body was telling me otherwise. My shins were killing me, it felt like my knees were cracking, and my ITB seized up.

Shit.

I was fully prepared to run the last 9, but the Running group I run with (read: coach) decided they were going to be the voice of reason and tell me that running is just plain stupid and that I should "listen to my body." So I took the walk of shame to the bus.

I was a little sad.

But I am making a choice to heal my body and still run a pretty damn good marathon.

And I just did a bit of goal coaching, so the dream of sub 4 is still there, but it might not be realistic right now.

This is my plan for the week:

*Get a massage

*Ride my bike

*Swimming

*Non-weight bearing strengthening.

*Keep a positive attitude and heal quickly.

* Buy a new pair of shoes (even though I have orthodics I think that the cushioning in the shoes still breaks down)

And when I can start running again, I was talking to someone who trained for there first marathon in 1.5 months because of injury, and was splitting his long runs up throughout the day (20km am, 14 km pm.). I know this defeats the purpose but maybe for a little while after I fix my pains, it might be beneficial to try.

I know I'll finish the race. Cause I paid for it, and I want to wear my shirt.

So now I'm going to soak in an empsom salts bath, and have breakie.

Catch up with you guys soon!

Tiger

Taking The Edge Off

2008-07-23T13:15:00.000-07:00

"The Greatest Glory is not in never falling, but rising everytime we fall"- Nelson Mandela

Some people do things that aren't so productive to take the edge off, when you're on edge about something.

Some people eat.
Some people drink.
Some people spend money.
Some people take exessive amounts of tylenol or sleeping pills.

I run.

This is the story of a run. A run that was, in some ways painful, and in other ways calming and comforting.

My day was fine until my 'goal coaching' session. I was excited about this. Come on, lots of time to talk about me. Lord only knows that I love doing that. The only thing was, was that I wrote my goals down at 3am because I couldn't sleep. This is the time that your true thoughts and feelings come out. I ended up with a page and a half of goals, and didn't re-look at them until the session. When we were looking at them. Together.

And I started freaking out.
This is the side of me that I keep away from everyone else around me, excluding my best friends.
This is the side of me that I don't want to share with someone I don't know.

I managed to keep myself composed for the duration of the session. When it was over and I went to go back and get my stuff, I started to freak out. Those who asked me 'how it was' I responded 'ok' and left it at that.

And then I walked out of the store and started freaking out. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

"I have to let it go", I thought to myself.
I got on the bus and put a call into my best running buddy, Super Dano, and told her I would be late. She said she'd stick around, which was fantastic.

I got there, changed quickly, and realized I had no socks.

"Oh, well. People run with no socks all the time."

And off we went. We started talking, and catching up and told her that she should start telling me about her. She didn't, and I started about the day I had, explaining why I was feeling on edge. I then went on to tell her my story.

[My story is not something I will write here. Not because I don't want to share it with you, my Running Blogger Family, but because of the family members out there that are reading. If you realllyyy want to read it shoot me an e-mail.]

And guess what? I learned more about her too. And we talked and ran and ran and talked. And then my feet started getting blisters, so I ran and talked and walked and talked and ran some more.

At the end of the run, we were both feeling calm.
The endorphins stimulated us being calm. And the talked helped too.

I appreciate running a lot today. Not just for the edge it helps me take off, but for the friendships it creates. For the wisdom that gets shared. For the stories that get told.

Tiger*

[wow. Can we say 'Debbie Downer'? My last 3 posts have been pretty negative. The happy, ridiculously perky Tiger is coming back soon. Next post. IIIII Promise]

Once Again...

2008-07-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

A sub-par, less than fantastic run.
Warning: Partial Mental Breakdown Ahead.

SO I went out for 28 before I went to work at 2. I left at about 9. Started off fantastic. Good clip, felt good, was going to try using e-load and water, as well as taking gels. By the time I made it to Port Credit, (about 8k) everything was falling apart. My body wasn't tired, but mentally I was exhausted. At 8k! This isn't a good sign.

Brian Tracey, a motivational speaker, suggests that if you decide to feel a certain way conciously, you're body will accept it and within minutes you will feel like you are that way. That doesn't make much sense, so I'm going to explain. If you aren't feeling so good, but you conciously decide that you feel fantastic, you will soon begin to actually feel that way.

SO I tried. And I tried hard. (Note: I had still about 20k to go.) It felt sort of like there was an angel and a devil on either shoulder. The devil won. I couldn't pull myself together. It was incredibly frustrating. I ran on for another 4k. Then I turned around and walked. This is totally not me. I'm not the type to give up so easy. I was tired, but still. Normal people would have toughed it out.

So Now I analyze. Because that's how I roll.

WTF is wrong with me??? Why does my mind sabotage me. Seriously.

Actually I'm too tired to analyze. But I'm not just writing this off as a bad run. I'm going to try again. Monday, I don't work until 3pm. I'm getting my ass out of bed and getting that run done. End of story. If I start at 5:30, theres no way I ccan't cover the distance by like, 9. And I'm not bringing my Garmin. Just my, my ipod and the road.

I'm doing a 30k race in a month. It'll be good for training.

Speaking of training...wait...speaking of goals, I think I've revamped it.

I honestly just want to finish. If I have an A, B, C goal, I'm never happy with the B or C goal and I hurt myself trying to get to the A goal...
I got a little freaked after the 16k. If I get sick after 16, how am i going to do 42.2? What am I going to look like after the race? Am I going to be on the verge of death? Seriously. Will I be able to finish? This is the pre-race/mid-training doubt sneaking up I think. And it's a couple of bad runs that allow me to get there. Seee...sabotage.

And I guess it doesn't help that I'm on the cusp of injury...ITB is acting up again. And I'm ignoring it as best I can. And stretching, and icing. I'm going to Yoga tomorrow I think. If worse comes to absolute worse I;ll go see the P.T. But I'm avoiding it at all costs. I've also got "The Stick". It works well too.

So now Im going for my fit test at premier fitness, where they can tell me I have to spend 1000 dollars and loose 30lbs and 19% body fat. Haha fantastic.
I'll catch up before my run tomorrow!

Tiger

My First Race at Age 20

2008-07-13T08:45:00.000-07:00

So, I did something very unusual today in many ways.

I didn't plan. I didn't plan my pace, how I was going to run, if I was going to 'negative split' it. I just ran.

I didn't wear a watch, garmin or any other form of timing device. I ran by feel.

I didn't carry water. I drank water and gatorade (a cup of each) at every aid station.

I didn't do 10 and 1's. When I reached the aid stations, I grabbed gatorade and water and started to run again.

Ate breakfast in the car. About an hour before the race started.

Everything had an interesting effect on my body. This brings us to the meat of the race report.

Pre-Race:

Nothing exciting. I had chicken fingers for dinner. Went to bed at 12:30. Got up again at 5. Couldn't find my race kit, or bib. Or running shoes. Fantastic. Found all my stuff, and got my race belt. Got together and met my ride at the Running Room. I ended up eating the cheerios that were in the race kit on the way there.

We found a place to park and walked to the start. Got our chips and mingled around with people from Port Credit (whom I totally miss), then lined up where I was supposed to. They had everyone divided into colored corals. I was in the last corral if you could believe it.We just got ready to go. I didn't even go to the washroom. (I would pay for this later.)

And we were OFF! Since I was in the last corral it took me about 4 minutes to cross the start line. The only thing along the course were kilometer markers--there was only one clock at 8km. It didn't really mean much to me either. Haha. And since I wore no watch, I have no splits. I paced myself by finding someone in the crowd with a good clip and tried to match it. It turns out that at 8km, I find out that it's the Area Manager of the Running Room, and we talked for a while. I was glad to have someone I knew on the course. We kept playing tag when there were about 5km to go. She said I should kill the last 3. So I tried. Then she caught up cause I got water. It was really quite amusing.

Kilometers 5-10 were done around the Leslie Spit. Apparently thats the worst part of the marathon course. There are no trees and no shade. Thank goodness today was cloudy and rainy. (perfect race weather) At about 6k, I had to go to the washroom. Despearately. I saw someone run out of the porta potty, so I ran in. It was fine. It took me about 30 seconds. Then kept going to find the person I was chasing.

The way back was pretty un-memorable. I just remember being really tired. But these Brian Tracey CD's I've been listening too say that if you visualize yourself feeling great, you will. And it actually worked for about 3km. And then I was ready for it to be over. And there were only 2k left. 12 minutes, give or take.

The way the course is laid out, you have to turn a corner, and then run about 100 meters to the finish line. Before you turn that corner, it's like a dead-zone. Theres no air. I got this sudden urge to puke. And there was no stopping it. I got rid of the one gel I took at 8km, and the 8 glasses of gatorade and water.

100 meters from the finish!!!! So much for the finish sprint! So much for finishing strong. THe spectators (many of them runners themselves) urged me to shake it off and just keep running. And I did. But the final 100 meters took everything I had.

Sue, who I was running with, finished about 30 seconds behind me. I also saw Melanie, the manager of the RR where I teach. I talked to Sue for awhile, and I told her what happened, and she suggested I got to the tent to get some water and make sure I wasn't too dehydrated. And I was dizzy and too tired to fight. So I went. And I found some friends too.

On the way back, I got changed, and we drove in the car. What an adventure. Haha. Many of my Running friends said they would cheering me on when I do the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon...and that they'd reserve me a spot at the med tent. We're batting 50% now. Oh boy.

And apparently I wasn't crazy about the 'dead zone'. Others said they'd experienced the same thing. I think I was the only one who puked though. Booo.

So yeah! Happy birthday to me. I guess I just needed something to blog about. And NO I didn't go out drinking last night.

Thanks for reading friends. The 2 pics I have to come!

Tiger

Stopping To Catch My Breath

2008-07-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

Both figuratively and literally.

I haven't checked my e-mail in 12 days. (Yes, it's possible to be away from the computer that long in this day and age.)
I haven't visited blogs in about the same amount of time.
I haven't posted a blog for awhile.
I haven't been able to breathe properly since Tuesday night.
So I'm stopping. And breathing!

My runs have been mediocre.
I hate being mediocre. Mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is to the top.
Not great. Some were bad, others were just okay.
My longest run has been 16km. I should be at about 20 or 22. I'm not too concerned about this, however, because I can just cut 6k off a 10k tempo run and tack it onto a long run. This way I'm not increasing my mileage too much.

Im running enough. I actually ran backwards into a big telephone poll. Hard. Hahah leave it to me. Im biking a lot (getting more comfortable with the road. I put in one headphone on a dull roar so I can't hear the cars as loud.) and I'm probably not eating enough. I'm down from 126 to 115. In a month. But whatever.

Yesterday I ran in a bra top. I'm not necessarily comfortable in it. I kept wanting to put my shirt back on. I took the before picture. I'll post that whenever my best friend sends it too me. My camera is lost. Joy. And it has not batteries.

Sunday I'm running a 10 miler.
It's my birthday.
I'm going to be in a new age group.
No hopes of winning again until I'm 80. (not that they were that great)
I'm just going to run it for fun, and to get to know the race course.
Which means another week of only a 16km long run.
Or I could do it Saturday morning.
But I have the race Sunday. I know I can run 22, so I'll probably do that Monday or Tuesday, and then do another long run on Sunday.
Or not. Like I said, I'm not too worried. The race is in 78 days, but thats still two months of intense training and healthy eating to get me ready.
And I have a decent base.

I'll catch up, maybe Saturday morning? Or Sunday after my race.
Miss me!

Tigrrr

Why Am I Not Superwoman?

2008-07-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

SERIOUSLY!
I'm riding a bike to and from work (as long as it's not raining).
I'm running my runs 4 days a week.
I'm going to clinic runs and running with them (sometimes after running 16k myself)
I work 4-5 days a week. 6 to 8 hours a day. I know, Iknow, some of you might think it's nothing, but my goodness.

I.AM.BEAT.

I'm coming down with a cold.
ALLLLLL I want to do is sleep.
Seriously.
And still, I get up retardedly early.
And still ride my bike (as long as it's not raining)
And I still run by myself
And I still work and am happy and talkitive.
Aaaannndddd I go to my clinic and try to be motivating, positive and happy.

But i just want to sleep.

If I remember correctly, none of my clinic instructors were ever sick or injured.
They were always in perfect condition.
Seriously, I need some super human powers.
Cause I hate being human.

Update on bike:
I'm sooo scared to ride on the road. I'm worried that cars aren't going to see me or are going to be on their cell phones or putting on makeup. So I'm going to slowly get used to it. I'm getting it fit tomorrow. My Torso is tooo short. Apparently thats one of the most important things in biking...

Anyways, I'm off to sleep. I'll catch up with you guys Saturday sometime:)

Lovesss<3

How Do We Look? What Should His Name Be?

2008-06-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Worst Day of my life

2008-06-26T17:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, maybe not the worst. The worst day of my young life so far was October 17th, 2003. Yep. But this day came pretty darn close.

I woke up 10 minutes before I had to leave for work. Gross. Threw on some clothes and a hat to cover my greasy hair and went out the door. Made it (barely) to the first bus and ended up in a daze the whole ride. And then, I miss my stop. I realize it immediately but the next stop is over the bridge and stuff. I have 7 minutes to walk from that stop to the other where I was to transfer. I got to the stop just as the bus was in the quiet intersection waiting for the light to change. The little walk man was still flashing in the direction he wasn't going. And he wouldn't let me on the bus! Stupid Mississauga transit. I take this bus virtually everyday, and he still wouldnt let me on. Funny thing is, I'm always nice to the bus drivers. I say thank you and have a nice day, things that many people don't say, and he still wouldn't let me. Its not like there were cars beside him or anything either.

Argh. Then apparently the local cab company doesn't pick up from street corners or bus stops, so I had to walk to the gas station (10 minutes) to get a cab. Then, there was no ATM and I had to pay with my credit card. And then I was going to get breakfast at Tim Hortons but decided I didn't have time because of the fact that I had to be there at 745 and thats when I got there, but my manager got caught in traffic and didn't show up until 810!

Phew.

So that was sucky.
I do have an updated race schedule though:

July 13th: tenatively the Nissan 10 Miler. Might not happen. We will see though.
August 16th: Mid Summer Nights 30k (really cool medal)
September 28th, 2008: Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm excited can't you tell?)
October 13th: 10k Zoo Run
October 19th: Toronto Half Marathon.

Look at that, huh?
Looking forward to the positive stuff, I guess.
Tomorrow will be better.
Now I'm off to bed.

I hate to admit it, but Ive been slacking on my blog reading. I'm sorry. Honest. I'll catch up sometime Saturday.
Miss me?

The last few week

2008-06-24T16:00:00.001-07:00

SO.

This is what I've figured out over the last few weeks:

1) Life is ok. It's actually taking some getting used to having mom back home. But she's home, and I'm glad.

2) Training intensely more than 4 times a week, not cool. I'm exhausted. Already. So, I'm gonna pull back a bit and do the four days a week, and run nice and slow with my clinic. It's sort of tough having more than one goal you know.

3) I Really like my clinic. Like, really really. They're such a great group of people and I like to think that they're all gonna make it! They seem really motivated, and really wanting to get to that point in their running career. And I think that they like me. I mean, they might hate me when we do hills and speed or they have a bad run, but they'll be so happy to cross the finish line. Now I hope that nobody drops out, because I might take that personally. Haha.

4) I have to train before work. Im more exhausted after work than before.

5)reallyyy like my job. And I think I'm getting better at it. There was a little bit of iffy time, when stuff was going on with my mom, but I now look forward to going to work. I meet really cool people and I get to work with super cool people. It's a pretty great thing.

6) I think I've just about picked out my bra top. It's a v-neck one, and it's a nice color. I might have to get matchy-matchy bottoms and take before and after pictures. Maybe this week. If I'm feeling brave. We will see.

7) Next year at school is going to be very difficult. I made my schedule. Some days I don't have lunch!!! Good thing I can snack during classes. I'm taking physiology 1 and 2, weather and climate (natural science course, mandatory) anatomy, research methods in kinesiology, analysis of data in kinesiology, the science of coaching and athletic therapy. It's going to be intense!!

8) That exciting change period I went through is calming down and I'm so glad. I'm happy to be settling into a great routine. One that includes running to work (well I've done it once and loved it so I'll do it some more)

9) Something exciting that I've been waiting a long time for is on the horizon. Not going to say it cause I don't want to fall through. Stay Tuned.

What else? Hmm. I went to the movie with my siblings (all 6 of us). It was nice to be all together for once. Didn't get any pics, but I saw Get Smart. Thought it was going to be soooo lame but it was really good:)

Quote of the week:

The five S's of sports training are: Stamina, Speed, Strength, Skill and Spirit;but the greatest of these is Spirit.--Ken Doherty

So now I'm actually a coach.

2008-06-19T19:03:00.001-07:00

I love, love, love my clinic!
The people are fantatsic. Theres about 12 people in it.
They're such a diverse, enthusiastic group.
And the best thing...

They Don't Care That I'm 19!!!!!

That's a good thing! I think once I told them the story of how I got to wear I am today, they got it! Everyone's gotta start somewhere, right?

I've got a couple of ideas for how to break up the monotony of the tempo runs (they can get kinda boring). We line up in pace groups and we start of our run. Then after our warm up the first person holds the pace for 30 seconds, then the person from the back sprints to the front and holds the pace. Then the next person, then the next! It's a good idea, I think. ANd I think that the group is just strong enough to handle it.

My trainings been going alright. My mom is home now. (just got home today after a month) and I have a 22k long run tomorrow. Then a 10 on Saturday and probably going to end up being a 10k on Sunday as well *7 with the group, and I'll run/bike there.

And I bought the most gorgeous new run jacket.

Not a bad day after all.

Marathon Goals

2008-06-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

So.

Since I'm a veryyy goal oriented person I have to write some goals for my upcoming marathon (HOLY CRAP that's the first time I've said 'upcoming marathon' and even though it's still about 3 months away and my training is seemingly going alright, I'm getting a little queezy at the thought of having to run for that long. I'm normal, right?)

I've seperated my training goals into 3 categories: Race Goals, Personal Goals and Training goals. Not necessarily in that order. Since I'm goal oriented, and goals are only meant to be met 50% of the time, I may be aiming a little high. I have also created a little action plan proving that I am capable of meeting these goals.

Personal Goals:

Weight Loss: Already going well. It's not happening as fast as I would like it to (I'd like to lose 2lbs a day as opposed to 2lbs a week but I'll take what I can get I guess). I haven't been eating any junk food, and the very little that I have eaten doesn't sit very well in my stomach. I think I am about 8 more weeks to my 20lb weight loss. (unless of course my body decides it can't afford to lose 20lbs.)

Action Plan: Keep doing what I am doing I guess. If I need junk food wait until after a long training run.

Bra Top: I want to be able to wear a bra top with out being ridiculously self concious. I don't have to worry about my muffin hanging over and looking silly or feeling like I look silly. I want to be able to make a 'go tiger go' bra top! Silly, I know, but it's a goal.

Action Plan: Along with the healthy eating, I will do ab workouts everyday. The abdominals are the only muscle that can be worked out everday.

Training Goals:
I have no action plan for these training goals, I just want to have a guideline of what I want to be doing every week, in order to meet my race goals and personal goals.

*Do the four important runs every week (tempo, speed, hills, long)
*Compliment my running with cross training. This cross training includes cycling and swimming (leisurely). It also include weights. I ideally would like to do weights 3x per week. A full body workout every other day. We will see how my body likes this idea though.
*Yoga once a week. So I dont get sore and stuff. It will probably make me a better runner.

Race Goals:

Most people say that you should run your first marathon to finish, not for time, but I don't know if I can do that. I'm too goal oriented. I need something to push towards.

So, I don't think my 3:40 time goal is going to be realistic. At all. So, I'm thinking that most people for their first marathon finish in 4:15-4:30 so I think that the goal is going to be 4:15. I'm going to make this my "I'd be happy with" goal. I know I am atleast capable of this and the race course is totally flat.

My ideal goal is going to be anywhere between 4:00 and 4:10. Those I had been training with acheived goals between these times so I think it'll be realistic.

Stretch Goal: Sub 4.

Ohmigosh everything is perfect goal: The original goal of 3:40.

So. That's that. These are my goals and now I'm accountable for training and weight loss. Thanks for being super blog buddies.
Ill catch up with you after my nap.

Tigrr<3